Madeleine, I'm curious as to what your issues are with the trans community.
Well, for one thing, there's this tendency to talk as if 'trans' is a category that includes or subsumes any kind of gender-nonconformity, which is cropping up more and more recently in, for instance, calls to put younger and younger children on hormone blockers, despite the fact that most gender-nonconforming children end up non-trans gay adults. You also get people insisting that butch lesbians MUST be trans men or that twinks (is that accepted nomenclature? I haven't heard an actual gay man use that word but that could just be due to lack of much socialization with non-woman LGBT people on my part) MUST be trans women, et cetera. This sort of stuff is insulting and, curiously, really sexist, and harmful to both trans and non-trans people. And then there's this idea that Anyone Can Be Trans if they're in any way unhappy with the social roles assigned to their sex, even if their sex isn't a source of any kind of physical/visceral or even intense emotional pain for them. I'm aware that this is technically an appeal to worse problems fallacy, but I find that insulting to those of us who die a little inside when people call us 'sir', or go on crying jags because we'll never be able to menstruate or give birth. I don't care if that makes me a 'transmedicalist' or 'truscum'. Whatever.
In the more 'classical' trans community I've run into problems of oversexualization and expectation of certain types of political and religious (or antireligious) views that I don't hold. This could just be bad luck on my part, I hope it is. But in particular I think that full-throated insistence on 'identity' as the crux and core concept of trans experience burns a lot of bridges and prevents us from having much chance of coming to a modus vivendi with belief systems and institutions with different views on ontology ('ontology' might not be quite the word I'm looking for but it's close enough). While it's true that, for those of us who religiously or culturally (more or less) traditional who aren't able or simply aren't
willing to walk away from those spaces, it's mostly those spaces that are to blame for the lack of such a modus vivendi, I think this idea of 'identity' makes it a lot less likely for that to get resolved to anybody's satisfaction in the future.
tl;dr a lot of trans rhetoric is implicitly homophobic or sexist, I'm simply an extremely atypical trans person ideologically and lifestyle-wise and don't think that much space exists or is being made for that, and I don't think the idea of 'identity' or 'identifying' is useful here but the rest of the trans community seems really committed to it.
