Just want to clairify something

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Did you have sex re-assignment surgery?

That's the first thing you ask? What her genitals look like? I think the better thing to ask/say is "are you fully transitioned," because my limited understanding of trans issues tells me that it's more than just sex reassignment that's in play when talking about how the physical body meshes with gender identity... but I could be wrong. I guess I have no claim to be personally offended here, but asking what's down below strikes me as a pretty personal question; I always saw it as running the risk of sort of fetishizing a person and reducing one's identity to their sex organs. Plus, whether a person even feels like they need such a surgery to express their gender freely and confidently is probably complex and not something they should be cornered into explaining.

Anyway, best of luck with everything, CrabCake. I'm sorry I got a bit carried away above, lol.

Oh Haggy...

The question is personal... but it wasn't asked maliciously.  In fact, I think it is often common for people who are trying to open their minds to something they've previously not been open to, to ask very pointed personal questions.  They are trying to get an accurate picture of the issue from the source.  And in doing so, it is opening their minds and educating them on the subject.

Maybe this is because they don't trust the "official" source... most of my family has only been open to gays because they knew gay people and were able to ask the questions they wanted to ask.  Pride parades and finger waving would probably have kept their minds closed.

I think it's important if I find a question too personal or offensive to just say so graciously.  They definitely understand.

/like