Update for Everyone IV - Hungover

[Atlas Has Shrugged]

I am in Istanbul Airport on a layover right now. The seat pocket on my flight here had a pamphlet called "FETO's coup attempt in Turkey" which was an 80-page government account of the coup and why the US should extradite Gulen - of course entirely in English.

Any remaining signs of the bombing?

[DC Al Fine]

in this thread: nice guys

I hope you're not referring to me here. You know I'm the first to call out Nice Guys on their crap.

Speaking of, there's quite a bit of implications in DC's post I really don't like, first off it the idea that there's anything wrong with a girl appreciating emotional support but not wanting a relationship.

If you want to be a shoulder to cry on for a female friend, more power to you.

There's nothing wrong with it per se, but if your aim is to find a long term relationship, showering emotional support and spending lots of time with someone you'll never date is counterproductive.

[Okay, maybe Mike Johnson is a competent parliamentarian.]

in this thread: nice guys

I hope you're not referring to me here. You know I'm the first to call out Nice Guys on their crap.

Speaking of, there's quite a bit of implications in DC's post I really don't like, first off it the idea that there's anything wrong with a girl appreciating emotional support but not wanting a relationship.

If you want to be a shoulder to cry on for a female friend, more power to you.

There's nothing wrong with it per se, but if your aim is to find a long term relationship, showering emotional support and spending lots of time with someone you'll never date is counterproductive.

I don't know if this is some sort of cultural difference between straight dating culture and the typically bisexual women I've been involved with (who tend to be used to much finer lines between friendships and unconsummated romances from their experiences with other women) or what, but like I said above that hasn't really been my experience, even though everybody seems to treat it like a truism.

[#TheShadowyAbyss]

So....I bought $300 worth of textbooks for my classes this semester....USPS said they delivered it to my front door, yet when I got back home from work, they weren't there....either they never delivered them or they got stolen.

[Antonio the Sixth]

in this thread: nice guys

I hope you're not referring to me here. You know I'm the first to call out Nice Guys on their crap.

Speaking of, there's quite a bit of implications in DC's post I really don't like, first off it the idea that there's anything wrong with a girl appreciating emotional support but not wanting a relationship.

If you want to be a shoulder to cry on for a female friend, more power to you.

There's nothing wrong with it per se, but if your aim is to find a long term relationship, showering emotional support and spending lots of time with someone you'll never date is counterproductive.

Well, yeah, some of us happen to enjoy friendships with girls for themselves and not for ulterior motives. Is that really so baffling?

[Antonio the Sixth]

That explains why you apparently need to remind yourself not to stare at a girl's boobs while you're talking to her.

[Mike Thick]

That explains why you apparently need to remind yourself not to stare at a girl's boobs while you're talking to her.

It's an in-joke

[DC Al Fine]

in this thread: nice guys

I hope you're not referring to me here. You know I'm the first to call out Nice Guys on their crap.

Speaking of, there's quite a bit of implications in DC's post I really don't like, first off it the idea that there's anything wrong with a girl appreciating emotional support but not wanting a relationship.

If you want to be a shoulder to cry on for a female friend, more power to you.

There's nothing wrong with it per se, but if your aim is to find a long term relationship, showering emotional support and spending lots of time with someone you'll never date is counterproductive.

Well, yeah, some of us happen to enjoy friendships with girls for themselves and not for ulterior motives. Is that really so baffling?

No.

I think you are being a bit obtuse here. R2D2 specifically expressed frustration about a girl that he is interested in, that he spends time with, but doesn't appear to want to be in a relationship with him. I noted in my advice that this is a common pitfall for guys who are looking for girlfriends. There's no contradiction here.

Put another way, if I tell someone to cut out the junk food to lose weight, it would be dumb to jump in to talk about how I just don't understand why people like french fries and chicken wings.

[Antonio the Sixth]

Except nowhere in your post did you specify you were responding to R2D2. I had even forgotten about his post by the time I saw yours. You referred to "single overthinking types", and since I am in fact both these things, I couldn't but take it personally. The point is that these broad generalizations are ridiculous and often have sexist undertones.

As for R2D2, if he has feelings for his friend, he should try to have a serious conversation and see what she has to say about it. If she's not interested, that's just how it is and there's no point in continuing to obsess about it. I'd hope he still would value her friendship as such, though, otherwise he was an awful friend to begin with.

[Grumpier Than Thou]

As for R2D2, if he has feelings for his friend, he should try to have a serious conversation and see what she has to say about it. If she's not interested, that's just how it is and there's no point in continuing to obsess about it. I'd hope he still would value her friendship as such, though, otherwise he was an awful friend to begin with.

I value her friendship more than anything. I've tried repeatedly to show her that I have really significant feelings, and that I think I'd be like a good match with her or whatever, but it's to no avail. I've accepted that. The problem is that, considering we're in college, she then goes and has...relations...with boys at parties, texts me the next morning (because I don't go to said parties) about how much she regrets it, and then proceeds to tell me that boys don't like her. Just the other day she told me she feels bad because she feels like others judge her because she doesn't feel the same way about me that I feel about her, which is probably one of the most insulting things anyone has ever said to me. Also, because she is literally my best friend, and I'm hers, we tell each other everything. So after I got done telling her how much I love her and how much she means to me the other night, she transitioned into talking in explicit detail about what her and a dude did the other night when they hooked up. Granted, she acknowledged the juxtaposition was awkward, but because I'm the only person she can vent to, I let her. I let her feel proud of herself for her exploits (because she's a very shy person, so these types of things help her to come out of her shell) but in all, while I do care about her very much, and I do value her friendship, and I wouldn't trade her for the world, it's very frustrating to have to basically watch as she has one night stands with dudes who have absolutely zero substance (I know these dudes, they're practically brain dead with no personality) only to wake up in the morning, tell me she regrets it, and then proceed to ask why boys don't like her.

TL;DR R2D2 white knights, fails, is a cuck.

[Okay, maybe Mike Johnson is a competent parliamentarian.]

My friends dragged me to a bowling alley/nightclub last night, where a couple who were bowling in a two-piece suit and a party dress were snobbish to me for not wearing custom-made clothes.

[Virginiá]

My friends dragged me to a bowling alley/nightclub last night, where a couple who were bowling in a two-piece suit and a party dress were snobbish to me for not wearing custom-made clothes.

what

[Okay, maybe Mike Johnson is a competent parliamentarian.]

My friends dragged me to a bowling alley/nightclub last night, where a couple who were bowling in a two-piece suit and a party dress were snobbish to me for not wearing custom-made clothes.

what

I asked my friends if we could please go to a normal, middle-to-working-class bowling alley next time and they agreed with me.

[FEMA Camp Administrator]

My friends dragged me to a bowling alley/nightclub last night, where a couple who were bowling in a two-piece suit and a party dress were snobbish to me for not wearing custom-made clothes.

what

I asked my friends if we could please go to a normal, middle-to-working-class bowling alley next time and they agreed with me.

Incidentally, in your reply, did you indicate indignation that someone who was going bowling should be classist?

[Okay, maybe Mike Johnson is a competent parliamentarian.]

My friends dragged me to a bowling alley/nightclub last night, where a couple who were bowling in a two-piece suit and a party dress were snobbish to me for not wearing custom-made clothes.

what

I asked my friends if we could please go to a normal, middle-to-working-class bowling alley next time and they agreed with me.

Incidentally, in your reply, did you indicate indignation that someone who was going bowling should be classist?

Yes, very much so.

[Okay, maybe Mike Johnson is a competent parliamentarian.]

What was particularly frustrating to me about the Rich Kids of the Bowling Alley was that I doubt I'm actually appreciably poorer than these people--I don't know how much money my family has exactly and my parents don't want to tell me but it's enough that there are trusts and permanent relationships with financial planners involved--but I grew up poor so I've been taught to value not blowing hundreds of dollars on needlessly extravagant clothing and stuff like it's my job. I have a suit that I had made when I was a teenager that I'm too fat and broad-shouldered for now and a winter coat from Joseph A. Bank that's lasted me eight winters so far. Other than that I just wear off-the-rack white collared shirts and a sport coat I got from my dad if I need to dress up. I do in fact spend significant amounts of money needlessly but it's generally not on intrinsically extravagant things--pretty much solely antique books and restaurant meals during the school year (because I lack the foresight to pack enough food for myself when I leave my apartment in the morning). And, yes, I think that this makes me in this particular respect superior to these living Gilmore Girls extras.

[DC Al Fine]

My friends dragged me to a bowling alley/nightclub last night, where a couple who were bowling in a two-piece suit and a party dress were snobbish to me for not wearing custom-made clothes.

what

I asked my friends if we could please go to a normal, middle-to-working-class bowling alley next time and they agreed with me.

Incidentally, in your reply, did you indicate indignation that someone who was going bowling should be classist?

Yes, very much so.

That's the best part of the story.

I mean it'd be bad if someone treated you like that at the country club, but the fact that someone actually acted like that at a bowling alley is just surreal.

[afleitch]

It's my anniversary tomorrow (easy date to remember ) 4 years now.

[The world will shine with light in our nightmare]

In two days it's going to be what would have been my parents' anniversary.  Surreal.

[True Federalist (진정한 연방 주의자)]

So....I bought $300 worth of textbooks for my classes this semester....USPS said they delivered it to my front door, yet when I got back home from work, they weren't there....either they never delivered them or they got stolen.

Stuff like that is precisely why I have my packages delivered to my workplace.

[Okay, maybe Mike Johnson is a competent parliamentarian.]

It's my anniversary tomorrow (easy date to remember ) 4 years now.

Congratulations!

[Crumpets]

I am in Istanbul Airport on a layover right now. The seat pocket on my flight here had a pamphlet called "FETO's coup attempt in Turkey" which was an 80-page government account of the coup and why the US should extradite Gulen - of course entirely in English.

Any remaining signs of the bombing?

I didn't see any, although I'm not exactly sure where it was in the airport. The main thing I noticed since the last time I was in Istanbul Airport is that there are now Turkish flags everywhere - all of the buildings, all of the stores, it's like America after 9/11.

[Atlas Has Shrugged]

My Grandma had yet another stroke last week, but didn't tell anyone about the fact that she couldn't use her left hand until yesterday when my Aunt was visiting her. They think she has lost the use of that hand permanently. I might be driving down to SoFl if she doesn't get released from the hospital by Friday.

[MASHED POTATOES. VOTE!]

My grandpa, the one who had the fall back in early August, is a real oxymoron. He'd been told specifically he shouldn't drive for three months, but guess what he's doing... I mean seriously, you just can't reach him.

Oh, he did promise me not to drive anywhere "too far", but this day he drove like 300 km.

[Atlas Has Shrugged]

My grandpa, the one who had the fall back in early August, is a real oxymoron. He'd been told specifically he shouldn't drive for three months, but guess what he's doing... I mean seriously, you just can't reach him.

Oh, he did promise me not to drive anywhere "too far", but this day he drove like 300 km.

My Grandma apparently is already complaining about not being able to smoke in the hospital. How is she going to do her favorite past time (chain smoking with her right hand, holding the phone with the left) with only one hand? Hopefully she'll improve quickly. She has had two previous strokes in the year since I've moved to Tallahassee and has rebounded pretty quickly, all the while maintaining her two pack a day habit.