GOP congressman wants to stop federal employees from watching porn at work

[Adam Griffin]

Are we suddenly going to start cutting federal employee pay and letting them go home earlier each day, thanks to all of the efficiency earned from keeping men's greasy meat-sticks out of their hands while at work? If not, then the whole "WE'RE IN DEBT!" shtick is so stupid and pointless; it'll cost the same whether they're fapping or not.

This isn't about money. It's about the fact that you shouldn't be practicing your flute solo at your job. Do you? I didn't think so.

Except that's not what it's about, according to the bill's sponsor:

Rep. Walter Jones, a North Carolina Republican, is leading a crusade to stop federal employees from watching and downloading porn on government equipment while at work.

“We are over $19 trillion in debt, and taxpayers are paying for federal employees to waste time at work surfing porn,” Jones said in a press release. “This is a well-documented, government-wide problem. It’s time to put a stop to it.”

And just for the record, before I was self-employed, yes: I did beat my meat at work. Yet somehow, I managed to do all the work I would have done on the job anyway and the company didn't lose any actual money!

[Higgs]

Did you seriously not have enough self control to just wait until you got home? Disgusting.

[This account no longer in use.]

That is true that the sponsor may have been a crazy, but the point still stands that there are many good reasons that you shouldn't be watching porn at work.

[/]

✓ Treating federal employees like schoolchildren

[Antonio the Sixth]

And just for the record, before I was self-employed, yes: I did beat my meat at work. Yet somehow, I managed to do all the work I would have done on the job anyway and the company didn't lose any actual money!

What the actual f**k.

[KingSweden]

Are we suddenly going to start cutting federal employee pay and letting them go home earlier each day, thanks to all of the efficiency earned from keeping men's greasy meat-sticks out of their hands while at work? If not, then the whole "WE'RE IN DEBT!" shtick is so stupid and pointless; it'll cost the same whether they're fapping or not.

This isn't about money. It's about the fact that you shouldn't be practicing your flute solo at your job. Do you? I didn't think so.

Except that's not what it's about, according to the bill's sponsor:

Rep. Walter Jones, a North Carolina Republican, is leading a crusade to stop federal employees from watching and downloading porn on government equipment while at work.

“We are over $19 trillion in debt, and taxpayers are paying for federal employees to waste time at work surfing porn,” Jones said in a press release. “This is a well-documented, government-wide problem. It’s time to put a stop to it.”

And just for the record, before I was self-employed, yes: I did beat my meat at work. Yet somehow, I managed to do all the work I would have done on the job anyway and the company didn't lose any actual money!

hot damn

[Chancellor Tanterterg]

Good.

[Sprouts Farmers Market ✘]

Highly disturbing that this is treated like a bad thing with the way the subject is phrased (and by who)...

[Classic Conservative]

And just for the record, before I was self-employed, yes: I did beat my meat at work. Yet somehow, I managed to do all the work I would have done on the job anyway and the company didn't lose any actual money!

What the actual f**k.

[Atlas Has Shrugged]

All I learned from this thread is that Griffin is a huge perv.

[DC Al Fine]

And just for the record, before I was self-employed, yes: I did beat my meat at work. Yet somehow, I managed to do all the work I would have done on the job anyway and the company didn't lose any actual money!

What the actual f**k.

[🦀🎂🦀🎂]

Plot twist: Griff was a porn star.

[dead0man]

<full disclosure, I've spanked it at work and have had sex at work...and a lot of other sh**t I'm less proud of >


On topic (sort of), as of last night, I can't post to Atlas from work.  I can read, but I can't do things.  This is unfortunate.  We've gained and lost another message board I frequent about a half dozen times over the years (and what spurned me to seek out another place to drop my wisdom, which is how I found the Atlas in the first place), so it will probably work again in time, but as of last night, no.  They currently let us use Facebook and YouTube so I can't imagine how posting here (and other places I post at have the same problem) could be worse than either of those.

[RINO Tom]

A disturbing trend from the disgusting puritan anti-sex losers once more.

You can't watch porn at any other civilized workplace computer.  I'm not gonna act like this isn't a good idea to avoid being called whatever retarded nickname you assign to normal people next.

[Clark Kent]

And just for the record, before I was self-employed, yes: I did beat my meat at work. Yet somehow, I managed to do all the work I would have done on the job anyway and the company didn't lose any actual money!

What the actual f**k.

[SWE]

ITT: prudes

[Antonio the Sixth]

Seriously? Are we seriously discussing if it's OK for people to masturbate in a professional setting, in a space that they share with other people? Are we actually calling people who say no "prudes"?

I mean seriously, can't you even wait until the workday ends and do it at home. Or OK, if you really can't help yourself, just go to the bathroom? Are you a prude if you don't believe that immediately getting your orgasm takes precedence over literally anything else?

This is pure insanity.

[RFayette]

I don't know how anyone in their right mind would watch porn during work given the risks, but I'm not a big fan of this law.  Why block people from pursuing pleasure?  I think the social pressure against doing so (except perhaps at odd early/late hours or during lunch break) would be great enough that this wouldn't be something you'd have to block.

[Adam Griffin]

For the record, I had my own office that automatically locked from the inside! Who could resist the temptation?

At any rate, I was on a kick from 18-22 of just seeing how many different places I could masturbate in for the sake of doing it and bragging about it. At work, while driving, in an airplane bathroom, etc etc etc. I sadly don't find it novel enough anymore to engage in such shenanigans.

Sadly, this congressman didn't follow the same path and became an old man who's still obsessed with masturbation!

[Antonio the Sixth]

Who could resist the temptation?

...most people?

[Higgs]

Who could resist the temptation?

...most people?

[Virginiá]

So what do you guys think about having a quickie with your bf/gf in the company bathroom or utility closet? Not a chronic thing, just a one time lust-filled moment of unbridled passion?

[afleitch]

If he's that concerned about such low level issues he should be proposing bills to deal with water coolers, staplers and carpet tiles.

What a waste of everyone's bloody time.

[YaBoyNY]

A disturbing trend from the disgusting puritan anti-sex losers once more.

You can't watch porn at any other civilized workplace computer.  I'm not gonna act like this isn't a good idea to avoid being called whatever retarded nickname you assign to normal people next.

You're not normal though. You're quite clearly a sex-hating puritan loser.

I bet if you asked the greater public, they'd tell you they simply don't care.

[Atlas Has Shrugged]

A disturbing trend from the disgusting puritan anti-sex losers once more.

You can't watch porn at any other civilized workplace computer.  I'm not gonna act like this isn't a good idea to avoid being called whatever retarded nickname you assign to normal people next.

You're not normal though. You're quite clearly a sex-hating puritan loser.

I bet if you asked the greater public, they'd tell you they simply don't care.

brb getting on a flight to nyc to masturbate on nydouchebags mothers couch smell ya later virgin FAGS