Would you rather...

[Enduro]

I don't know what laughing Jack is, so probably him. Unless he's like a serial killer, or something like that.

Would you rather have Lazer vision and be blind, or have teleportation but can't control it?

[Leinad]

If the latter is combined with immortality, then that, but if not, I'll go with the one that has no chance of dropping me in a war zone/volcano/firing range/Bieber concert.

Would you rather be a member of the Alaskan Independence Party or the UK Independence Party?

[Pragmatic Conservative]

UK Independence Party

Would you rather have dinner with Landslide Lyndon or Jfern

[Leinad]

Jfern by a million miles.

Would you rather travel across the country on a unicycle, or (the size of an ant) travel across a unicycle listening to country music?

[Bojack Horseman]

Go across the country on a unicycle. I can't stand country music.

WYR go on a two-week vacation to Tijuana, Mexico with Donald Trump, or go clubbing in San Francisco with Rick Santorum?

[IceSpear]

Tijuana with Trump.

Would you rather have Chris Christie fetch your McDonalds, or Marco Rubio fetch your water?

[This account no longer in use.]

Depends. I'd only ever eat at McDonald's for breakfast, so if then, Christie. Otherwise, Little Marco.

Would you rather only be allowed to read r/the_donald or r/sandersforpresident for a week?

[MASHED POTATOES. VOTE!]

The former I guess...

Would you rather make out with Bushie or DWPerry?

[LLR]

Bushie because slightly less chance of an STD

Would you rather be stung by the world's biggest bee or spend your life with a 2-foot-tall version of Sting in your pocket

[Mike Thick]

Sting, because he sampled Prokofiev once, so he's automatically an FF

Would you rather have dinner with StatesPoll or t_host1?

[MASHED POTATOES. VOTE!]

t_host1 is the one who came up with a groundbreaking philosophy of JAO, so him.

Would you rather have Michael Heseltine hairstyle or Michael Foot hairstyle?

[Classic Conservative]

Michael Heseltine

Would you rather be married to Bush Oklahoma and have children with him or sniff cocaine with DW Perry while injecting five year old heroine into your head

[Enduro]

I don't know who Bush Oklahoma is, but I don't like DW Perry. Then again, you said "children with him", and I'm not gay. (Not that there's anything wrong with being gay)
I'd do the drugs with DW, but I would let him get high first so he wouldn't notice that I didn't take any.

Would you rather marry your worst enemy, or be forced to kill your best friend?

[MASHED POTATOES. VOTE!]

I can get divorced, so the former.

Would you rather have a long dinner with Leonid Brezhnev or go to the emoviolence concert with BRTD?

[Virginiá]

Emoviolence with BRTD of course.

Would you rather be Trump's manservant/butler for a year or go back in time and be Jeb's campaign spokesperson as his campaign goes down in flames for months on end?

[Human]

Jeb's campaign spokesman

Would you rather know when you will die or how you will die?

[MASHED POTATOES. VOTE!]

This is sooooo The Land of Laughs

Probably how.


Would you rather kiss Donald Trump or make out with Marco Rubio?

[LLR]

Rubio, because I imagine Trump's face to be quite disgusting. But both are horrible punishments.

Would you rather be forced to drink only water for the rest of your life or never be allowed to drink water?

[MASHED POTATOES. VOTE!]

Would you rather be forced to drink only water for the rest of your life or never be allowed to drink water?

Impossible. There's water everywhere.

/skip/

[Xing]

Rubio, because I imagine Trump's face to be quite disgusting. But both are horrible punishments.

Would you rather be forced to drink only water for the rest of your life or never be allowed to drink water?

Assuming you mean only drink other beverages, I'll go with just water.

Would you rather live in L.A. without a car, or live in Manhattan and be forced to get around by car? (i.e. no using taxis, the subway, walking, etc.)

[NeverAgain]

Oh no car in L.A. definitely.

Jump into a pool of cockroaches or get a tongue sponge bath from Donald Trump?

[Oswald Acted Alone, You Kook]

I'll take the cockroaches.

Have your daughter date Trump or have your son date Hilary?

[Xing]

Definitely son dating Hillary.

Would you rather look like Ted Cruz or sound like Donald Trump?

[NeverAgain]

Probably Ted Cruz, I could get into all the good gnome clubs.

Would you rather be given a million dollars and not be able to use it for 20 years, or be given 250,000$ and be able to use it immediately?

[bagelman]

I have no way of knowing that a million in 2036 dollars is even as much as a quarter mil in 2016 dollars. I'd take the money now.

Would you rather live in a bad future of your country that is suffering from a bout of authoritarianism, or live in a free democracy with an utterly alien culture and language?