Politics and personal relationships...

[HagridOfTheDeep]

How much do politics influence your personal relationships? I try to be open-minded, but if someone else isn't it's very hard to get along. And I know it's a generalization, but most of the people who are like this, at least those who count as my peers, are Bernbots through and through.

My boyfriend and I have been trying to make friends with a few other gay couples, and even in Vancouver it's been horrible. "Hillary supports fracking!" "Do you know what fracking is?" "No, but I know it's awful." "Do you know why Hillary promotes fracking as SecState?" "Yes, because she's bought by big oil."



It's... hard to make friends with these people and hard not to judge.

[Coolface Sock #42069]

I would never have married a leftist, and though I don't rule out friendships with them, I find it difficult because it transcends politics; their values are just different. I also don't know a ton of them anymore because central Illinois isn't exactly full of them. I obviously talk about politics a lot and don't like having to stay away from the subject to avoid arguments.

My wife and I (I'm male) have also struggled to make couple friends, though. I think it's just hard no matter who you are, so don't feel like you're alone.

[FEMA Camp Administrator]

Most that know me could guess that I'm a Republican, but also think I'm an atheist (likely due to outwardly-expressed nihilism). I discuss politics relatively rarely outside of those that I already know I agree with, since it's my opinion that people primarily express themselves to feel better about themselves. A friend of mine who was sadly indoctrinated into feminism knows my retrogressive views, but she tolerates me since we're, well, friends. If people want to find out my views, I'll likely tell them something about wanting temporary chemical neutering for students and a national draft, since as long as they're going to be shallow, I'm going to be half-honest. I find it difficult to discuss my actual views since A) they barely exist, and B) my desires for society are too far gone from how people actually act, so while my preferred policies are conservative, the way the world works isn't, which makes having a coherent worldview difficult, leading to C) my general belief that we need to radically reorganize the world. Thus, we need a national draft and chemical neutering for students.

In regards to women, since whitesox brought it up, I don't intend on unnecessarily bringing up my viewpoints since the likelihood of running into an attractive virgin who is smart and interesting and attracted to me and who votes like I would is limited.

[Virginiá]

I have tried not to allow politics to infringe on my friendships and relationships. I've been with someone on the other end of the spectrum, but it can be hard because I'm a political junkie and ranting about this stuff to someone who doesn't have the same ideology isn't the greatest thing (and vice versa).

The past few years I've tended to gravitate almost subconsciously towards liberals/Democrats, but I do have friends that are conservative. I don't think I can have another relationship with one though. Politics would have to be off the table and that's not something I'd want to do.. But I wouldn't rule it out entirely. After all, love is love

Though, it should be said that I don't think most people have a problem with this, but being with me means listening to liberal stuff and debating liberal stuff and probably hearing a lot of bitching about Republicans. So, yeah

[Lyin' Steve]

I don't bring politics up at parties or in conversations with people I just met, and I try to kill political conversations with my family even though they want to talk to me about politics all the time.  They are all very left-wing.  They forced me to debate them on legalizing marijuana at thanksgiving and it didn't go well (I don't think it should be legal, which makes me a Republican apparently).

With friends I know fairly well I'll sometimes drop hints on where I stand like "be right there just watching Hillary crush Bernie" and if they want to talk about politics they can, if they don't they can just ignore it and I'll never bring it up again.  A couple of my close friends like to have conversations about the election or the campus crusades even though they disagree with me on a lot of things.

[Santander]

I have a few friends who are arch-conservatives or avowed socialists, but most of them fall somewhere in between. Only my close friends know my political views, and most of them are appalled by them. Most of my friends are socially moderate Republicans, but that's probably just because of my educational/professional background. I'm sort of like Harold Ford Jr. - a Democrat who tries to get Republicans to like him. Strangely, I also have more Catholic than Protestant or atheist friends, which is odd considering I openly talk about my disdain for the Vatican.

Mostly though, I avoid talking about politics with friends and don't really care what they think about taxes, guns or healthcare. I think society functions best when people can openly hold different views and still go for a drink on Saturday night or go to the same church on Sunday morning.

I've only ever had one liberal girlfriend. I won't be making that mistake again.

[HagridOfTheDeep]

I always thought I would want a partner who agreed with my politics, but honestly my boyfriend is quite non-political, and it is the most refreshing thing. As long as I can explain why I believe what I believe, he respects it. He certainly doesn't hate me for supporting Hillary like others shallowly do. And it's great to take a break from being too invested in American elections.

As for friends... Most are liberal, but I have a few who line up with me scarily well and it's always nice to blow off steam with them.

[Derpist]

My friend circle tilts either conservative, South Park liberal, or old-school socialist. In contrast, SJWs are pretty much insufferable in every imaginable way and they tend to make for poor friends due to a variety of character failings. Political agreement isn't important - what's important is mutual respect - and it is that which shears off a significant portion of the modern political spectrum.

I've always had a soft-spot for libertarians because I dated a Ron Paul supporter once. He would push libertarian literature onto me, so I got used to that and gained a grudging respect for them. He was also kind of a white nationalist, which was admittedly kinda weird.

[Southern Senator North Carolina Yankee]

I often try to avoid it as much as possible when dealing with people at work or wherever. Since I am so emersed in politics already, I just keep it at arms length in discussions, and play both sides off the other while making a point that I agree with.

[Torie]

My partner and I agree on very little politically. It just doesn't matter. As I get old, I make a conscious effort to reach out, and try to relate to everyone, and not prejudge them. Living in a small town, I think that is particularly important. I have also learned just how futile it is, to get someone to change their mind, on something they think they know something about. So in general I just don't go there, and to the extent it is relevant, because something needs to get done, try to find a path of least resistance. In any event, throughout my life, most of my friends, and lovers, have been liberal. It just has not mattered to me.

[MASHED POTATOES. VOTE!]

Aside of one friend, that turned into a very nasty extreme right, politics never affected my friendships.

[Blair]

I'm generally the more right wing out of my friends, and offended a fair few in the leadership race. I once thought that I kissed a tory; but then I found out he voted Lib Dem. Almost as bad?

[Antonio the Sixth]

I have a few right-wing friends, one of whom I always have a lot of fun discussing politics with.

That said, having values in common is definitely an important aspect in friendships (and I can only assume that would carry over to romantic relationships).

[afleitch]

It's never really affected my friendships. I publically call out casual anti-semitism though, which has led to me speaking to a few people somewhat less about politics.

[RFayette]

I presume all my friends outside of church and College Republicans are liberal to the core, and I see no reason to ever allow the subject to be brought up (unless I specifically did not discuss my personal opinions).

[Clark Kent]

I generally don't talk about politics with my friends, since chances are, they support the Comrade.

[Vosem]

My inner, tight circle of friends (with whom I discuss politics) tends to be rather similar to me, and is a bit of a young-Republican libertarianish echo chamber. My larger circle of friends generally tilts left and supports Sanders pretty overwhelmingly. The only thing that ever really driven spikes between me and a friend is Israel/Palestine, though even there, there are friends with whom I disagree and can discuss the topic reasonably. I think politics should add to a friendship, and if it detracts either the politics or the friendship don't belong.

[Mr. Smith]

Unless they're rigid extremists, I don't say much on politics at all to friends (except in the right context and someone brings it up).

[Filuwaúrdjan]

I've never let the former get in the way of the latter and don't intend to go about starting now. I suppose the Atlas standard is the opposite...

[Clarko95 📚💰📈]

99.5% of my friends are pretty mainstream liberals and conservatives (if they vote), and I don't find it difficult to talk politics with them at all.

Sometimes I can tell if a person is particularly aggressive about their beliefs, I'll dumb my views down and play the, "Ehhhhh, I don't really see it that way, but I know what you mean" card, but with most of them, they can handle disagreements.


However this is the first year that I've had to cut some more casual friends who went so deep into the Bernie cult that when I tried comforting them after he lost in Iowa, they angrily lashed out at me, and now write paragraphs/share stupid HuffPo articles on Facebook almost daily about how Trump would make a better President than Hillary and he's going to be more progressive than her and get money out of politics (lol???) etc., so I'm keeping them as FB friends until he drops out so I can see the reaction, but I have no intention to talk to them ever again if they're so immature they start insulting me and insulted a mutual Muslim friend as "scummy" and "a piece of sh_t"  for "fearmongering about Trump".

Thankfully most of my Bernie friends are "I love Bernie, but Hillary's better than Trump I guess" kinds of people, so I'll just keep quiet on that and focus discussion on the general election. I'll encourage them to look at her biography and defend her from the more blatantly false attacks from the left in hopes that they do vote, but if they don't, they don't. I'll also encourage anti-Trump Republican friends to just vote Libertarian and try again in 2020.

This election kind of sucks because there's so much raw emotion, I feel that I can't talk about things like I could in 2012.

[Thunderbird is the word]

I'm kind of a loner in general so I take friendships where I can find them. If someone is nice to me, or if we find any common interest i'll be nice back to them and let that transcend any difference in political or religious beliefs. My social circle in college was almost entirely left-leaning yet I had one conservative friend who despite our disagreements was in some ways a better friend then a lot of the leftists I knew, though we'd probably be less likely to get along these days as back then he was a Ron Paul libertarian so we came together on foreign policy and civil liberties issues but has since drifted into Alt-Right territory.

My best and oldest friend though is mostly apolitical and since politics are a huge part of my life I actually find it refreshing to not have to talk politics at all with him. As far as a romantic partner goes I think that I would have to have someone that has similar values to me though i'm flexible and they don't need to agree with me on everything. Hell, I could see myself going out with Virginia despite her support of Hillary

[Derpist]

It seems to me that most of the political fury described is between Hillary and Bernie supporters.

It seems strange to me since despite being outspoken in my desire that Donald Trump be president, I've never had a problem with any of the Bernie supporters I know, especially because that includes half of my family. And most of the Cruz/Kasich supporters I know are probably only silently disappointed.

I don't know any Hillary supporters, but I'm neither a senior citizen, a Southerner, nor an employee of Goldman Sachs, so that was kind of predictable.

[IceSpear]

It seems to me that most of the political fury described is between Hillary and Bernie supporters.

It seems strange to me since despite being outspoken in my desire that Donald Trump be president, I've never had a problem with any of the Bernie supporters I know, especially because that includes half of my family. And most of the Cruz/Kasich supporters I know are probably only silently disappointed.

I don't know any Hillary supporters, but I'm neither a senior citizen, a Southerner, nor an employee of Goldman Sachs, so that was kind of predictable.

You also don't know any minorities or females, apparently.

Anyway, me and my Bernie supporting friends (i.e. nearly all of them) have reached detente. We just don't discuss it anymore.

[Kingpoleon]

My friend circle tilts either conservative, South Park liberal, or old-school socialist. In contrast, SJWs are pretty much insufferable in every imaginable way and they tend to make for poor friends due to a variety of character failings. Political agreement isn't important - what's important is mutual respect - and it is that which shears off a significant portion of the modern political spectrum.

I've always had a soft-spot for libertarians because I dated a Ron Paul supporter once. He would push libertarian literature onto me, so I got used to that and gained a grudging respect for them. He was also kind of a white nationalist, which was admittedly kinda weird.

Are you gay or female?

Mostly though, I avoid talking about politics with friends and don't really care what they think about taxes, guns or healthcare. I think society functions best when people can openly hold different views and still go for a drink on Saturday night or go to the same church on Sunday morning.

FF quote

[Oldiesfreak1854]

Generally, I don't let politics get in the way of my relationships with anyone.  I can understand their viewpoint in many cases, even if I don't agree with it.  Although I'd prefer to marry a Republican, I wouldn't mind marrying a woman who wasn't if I genuinely loved her.  Simply put, love is more important than politics.

I don't really have many people that I would consider to be close friends, but I have many acquaintances.  And they're pretty evenly split in their politics.  My hometown is heavily Republican farming community, so many of my classmates from high school identified as Republicans, but I know a few who are Democrats or left-leaning.  The same goes for my family.  My mother voted for Obama twice and is now a big Bernie Sanders supporter.  She seems to be the kind of person who votes for whichever candidate seems to be the most "hip" or "cool."  My grandma is an Independent who seems to lean Republican.  She's never given much of a straight answer who she supports for president this year, but from what I've heard her say I suspect it's Trump.