Character education

[nclib]

Wow, from the response here it sounds like the Northeast and northwest are terrible places to live. No one says "sir" or "ma'am". Do you people even bother to hold doors open for women or open car doors for women anymore? No wonder they say northerners are so brash.

Opening doors for women is condescending to them.

No it is not, and it shouldn't be sexist either. If two people are approaching a door, the most polite person will hold it open for the other, no matter what gender.

I should have clarified - opening doors only for women is a sexist gesture. Opening doors for both genders is fine.

[PBrunsel]

Respect should be earned!

That's a good point though J.J.

Repsect is not a right, respect must be earned.

[??????????]

Wow, from the response here it sounds like the Northeast and northwest are terrible places to live. No one says "sir" or "ma'am". Do you people even bother to hold doors open for women or open car doors for women anymore? No wonder they say northerners are so brash.

Opening doors for women is condescending to them.

Ok, I'll let it slam in their face then. lol Even my wife hates that kind of extreme feminism. She says, "What kind of rude jerk wouldn't hold a door for a lady?"

[??????????]

Wow, from the response here it sounds like the Northeast and northwest are terrible places to live. No one says "sir" or "ma'am". Do you people even bother to hold doors open for women or open car doors for women anymore? No wonder they say northerners are so brash.

I'm polite to women.  I just don't call them "ma'am" because everyone I know would look at me very strangely if I did.

I've had several supervisors (female) who got very upset with me when I called them "Ma'am."  It was considered inappropriate.

My oldest daughter says "yes sir" and "yes ma'am" to every grown adult whenever they ask her a question. I don't see how I am doing "the wrong thing" in teaching her that.

[Alcon]

Wow, from the response here it sounds like the Northeast and northwest are terrible places to live. No one says "sir" or "ma'am". Do you people even bother to hold doors open for women or open car doors for women anymore? No wonder they say northerners are so brash.

I'm polite to women.  I just don't call them "ma'am" because everyone I know would look at me very strangely if I did.

I've had several supervisors (female) who got very upset with me when I called them "Ma'am."  It was considered inappropriate.

My oldest daughter says "yes sir" and "yes ma'am" to every grown adult whenever they ask her a question. I don't see how I am doing "the wrong thing" in teaching her that.

Well, at least in many areas of the U.S., it is considered archaic and stuck-up or even sarcastic.

[??????????]

Wow, from the response here it sounds like the Northeast and northwest are terrible places to live. No one says "sir" or "ma'am". Do you people even bother to hold doors open for women or open car doors for women anymore? No wonder they say northerners are so brash.

I'm polite to women.  I just don't call them "ma'am" because everyone I know would look at me very strangely if I did.

I've had several supervisors (female) who got very upset with me when I called them "Ma'am."  It was considered inappropriate.

My oldest daughter says "yes sir" and "yes ma'am" to every grown adult whenever they ask her a question. I don't see how I am doing "the wrong thing" in teaching her that.

Well, at least in many areas of the U.S., it is considered archaic and stuck-up or even sarcastic.

What's wrong with good manners?

[Nation]

Wow. I use "sir" "ma'am" and "miss" all the time, and never encountered any problem. Most seem quite relieved at someone with manners.

[Gabu]

Wow, from the response here it sounds like the Northeast and northwest are terrible places to live. No one says "sir" or "ma'am". Do you people even bother to hold doors open for women or open car doors for women anymore? No wonder they say northerners are so brash.

I'm polite to women.  I just don't call them "ma'am" because everyone I know would look at me very strangely if I did.

I've had several supervisors (female) who got very upset with me when I called them "Ma'am."  It was considered inappropriate.

My oldest daughter says "yes sir" and "yes ma'am" to every grown adult whenever they ask her a question. I don't see how I am doing "the wrong thing" in teaching her that.

If it's fine where you live, by all means, go ahead.  All I'm saying is that if it isn't common in another location, then teaching kids to do so regardless is not really helping them.

[Citizen James]

Wow, from the response here it sounds like the Northeast and northwest are terrible places to live. No one says "sir" or "ma'am". Do you people even bother to hold doors open for women or open car doors for women anymore? No wonder they say northerners are so brash.

I'm polite to women.  I just don't call them "ma'am" because everyone I know would look at me very strangely if I did.

I've had several supervisors (female) who got very upset with me when I called them "Ma'am."  It was considered inappropriate.

My oldest daughter says "yes sir" and "yes ma'am" to every grown adult whenever they ask her a question. I don't see how I am doing "the wrong thing" in teaching her that.

Well, at least in many areas of the U.S., it is considered archaic and stuck-up or even sarcastic.

What's wrong with good manners?

Nothing at all.  That's the nature of political correctness, after all.

[J. J.]

Wow, from the response here it sounds like the Northeast and northwest are terrible places to live. No one says "sir" or "ma'am". Do you people even bother to hold doors open for women or open car doors for women anymore? No wonder they say northerners are so brash.

I'm polite to women.  I just don't call them "ma'am" because everyone I know would look at me very strangely if I did.

I've had several supervisors (female) who got very upset with me when I called them "Ma'am."  It was considered inappropriate.

My oldest daughter says "yes sir" and "yes ma'am" to every grown adult whenever they ask her a question. I don't see how I am doing "the wrong thing" in teaching her that.

Well, at least in many areas of the U.S., it is considered archaic and stuck-up or even sarcastic.

What's wrong with good manners?

You should be aware that  number of people would not being addressed as "sir" or "ma'am" as being appropriate.  I really would prefer a younger child to refer to me as "J. J." or as "Mr. J. J." than being called "sir," for example. 

[??????????]

Wow, from the response here it sounds like the Northeast and northwest are terrible places to live. No one says "sir" or "ma'am". Do you people even bother to hold doors open for women or open car doors for women anymore? No wonder they say northerners are so brash.

I'm polite to women.  I just don't call them "ma'am" because everyone I know would look at me very strangely if I did.

I've had several supervisors (female) who got very upset with me when I called them "Ma'am."  It was considered inappropriate.

My oldest daughter says "yes sir" and "yes ma'am" to every grown adult whenever they ask her a question. I don't see how I am doing "the wrong thing" in teaching her that.

Well, at least in many areas of the U.S., it is considered archaic and stuck-up or even sarcastic.

What's wrong with good manners?

You should be aware that  number of people would not being addressed as "sir" or "ma'am" as being appropriate.  I really would prefer a younger child to refer to me as "J. J." or as "Mr. J. J." than being called "sir," for example. 

They do things much differently in the North.

[Plant City Rebel]

Wow, from the response here it sounds like the Northeast and northwest are terrible places to live. No one says "sir" or "ma'am". Do you people even bother to hold doors open for women or open car doors for women anymore? No wonder they say northerners are so brash.

Opening doors for women is condescending to them.





Wow....I must have been brought up in the wrong century.  I was taught---at a VERY early age, that it was a sign of respect, not a show of strength, for a man to open the door for a woman.  It isn't saying that she can NOT open the door for herself, but that she shouldn't HAVE to. And you can ask Jeff--My view is simple--I did not vote for feminism, I do not want it.  I am a lady and expect to be treated as such.  The car door will be opened for me, the heavier bags will be carried, and so help me the trash is a male job!! I was also taught that unless you are otherwise instructed, all adults are Sir( for the men) and Ma'am ( for the women).  In special cases, they are adoptive Aunts and Uncles and they are STILL addressed with Sir and Ma'am.  All of my teachers were addressed in that form, even if asked not to be, because I couldn't break the habit.  I've spent 13 years in customer service, and that small courtesy has often turned a bad situation into a good one.  And yes, there are exceptions to the respect rule, those belong to those people who have LOST it for different reasons, in general,those who break the law and the Commandments.  I guess I grew up with too many archaic people, like my Great Great Grandparents.  Man, have I ever been stunted by growing up in small town America.  Guess what.. I'm planning on stunting my children too.  I don't want them to be doormats, but I don't want them to be cretins either.

[patrick1]

Good points Plant City.  However, I will agree with what JJ said:  I don't really like being called Sir and if you call some women of a particular age around here maam they might want to kill you.   Maam is offensive to pretty much any woman in a more youth orientated NE culture.  That does not mean that certain things should not be done.  I'll  always offer my seat to a female (especially a young mother or older woman) and always hold doors open for people both men and women.  Many bounds of common decency are going out the window.  I've gotten into a few spats with people for rampant profanity on mass transit in front of woman and children.

[Emsworth]

I've gotten into a few spats with people for rampant profanity on mass transit in front of woman and children.

I find that profanity is equally impolite, whether it is front of ladies or whether it is in front of gentlemen.

[Plant City Rebel]

I've gotten into a few spats with people for rampant profanity on mass transit in front of woman and children.

I find that profanity is equally impolite, whether it is front of ladies or whether it is in front of gentlemen.

I agree, I don't need to hear the "F" word every other word in conversations.  Nor do I feel the need to refer to people I can't stand as MF's either.  That is one of the main reasons I don't listen to certain types of music. 

[Akno21]

Or society is immature in the sense that if my male friend and I were in a store, and a woman my age was going toward the exit, if I were to hold the door open with a smile on my face, my friend wouldn't tell me I had good manners, I'd have been told I was flirting with her.

[Beet]

Manners are all a matter of context. No single formula works (nor should it) in every situation.

[Gabu]

Manners are all a matter of context. No single formula works (nor should it) in every situation.

Yes, if you want a good example of this, it's considered very rude in North America to let out a big belch at the dinner table.  In other areas in the world, however, it's considered extremely complimentary to the chef to do so.

[J. J.]

They do things much differently in the North.

I would say that they do much differently in the South.  This is Northeast, Southwest, West, Mid West.

[??????????]

They do things much differently in the North.

I would say that they do much differently in the South.  This is Northeast, Southwest, West, Mid West.

I'm just mocking you. Every year yankees come down here saying "Well we don't do it this way up NORTH". Such condescending bastards...just leave your money and go the hell up north..That's what I always say to myself.

[Plant City Rebel]

They do things much differently in the North.

I would say that they do much differently in the South.  This is Northeast, Southwest, West, Mid West.

I'm just mocking you. Every year yankees come down here saying "Well we don't do it this way up NORTH". Such condescending bastards...just leave your money and go the hell up north..That's what I always say to myself.

Please don't get this started...I had to deal with the lady who won't buy the Deli Cole Slaw because the brand name is DIXIE coleslaw, and she won't get the Potato Salad because it is SOUTHERN style( for the record--what is normal considered Northern Potato salad is called our SUPREME) all of this is said while she is informing the entire Deli crew about how her Great Great Grandfather died defending the constitution and how NO Southerner of any historical period is worth respect.... ( Breath in Breath out... remember the first rule of customer service is DO NOT Tell the customer off...........)

[Gabu]

I'm just mocking you. Every year yankees come down here saying "Well we don't do it this way up NORTH".

What?  We don't do it that way up NORTH.

[J. J.]

They do things much differently in the North.

I would say that they do much differently in the South.  This is Northeast, Southwest, West, Mid West.

I'm just mocking you. Every year yankees come down here saying "Well we don't do it this way up NORTH". Such condescending bastards...just leave your money and go the hell up north..That's what I always say to myself.

Well, the thing is, "We don't do that in the West, Midwest, or Northeast."  I'm not suggest one way is wrong and another is right; I am saying that what you consider "polite" many others consider "offensive."