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Author Topic: Blue States  (Read 3145 times)
they don't love you like i love you
BRTD
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« on: July 08, 2005, 12:40:39 PM »

My aunt sent this to me. Nice that we get a chain email now instead of the countless right wing ones!


Dear Red States: We're ticked off at the way you've treated
> California, and we've decided we're leaving. We intend to form our own
> country, and we're taking the other Blue States with us. In case you
> aren't aware, that includes Hawaii, Oregon, Washington, Minnesota,
> Wisconsin, Michigan, Illinois and all the Northeast. We believe this
> split will be beneficial to the nation, and especially to the people
> of the new country of New California.

> To sum up briefly: You get Texas, Oklahoma and all the slave states.
> We get stem cell research and the best beaches.

> We get Elliot Spitzer. You get Ken Lay.

> We get the Statue of Liberty. You get OpryLand.

> We get Intel and Microsoft. You get WorldCom.

> We get Harvard. You get Ole' Miss.

> We get 85 percent of America's venture capital and entrepreneurs. You
> get Alabama.

> We get two-thirds of the tax revenue, you get to make the red states
> pay their fair share.>

> Since our aggregate divorce rate is 22 percent lower than the
> Christian Coalition's, we get a bunch of happy families. You get a
> bunch of single moms.

> Please be aware that Nuevo California will be pro-choice and anti-
> war, and we're going to want all our citizens back from Iraq at once.
> If you need people to fight, ask your evangelicals. They have kids
> they're apparently willing to send to their deaths for no purpose, and
> they don't care if you don't show pictures of their children's caskets
> coming home. We do wish you success in Iraq, and hope that the WMDs
> turn up, but we're not willing to spend our resources in Bush's
> Quagmire.

> With the Blue States in hand, we will have firm control of 80 percent
> of the country's fresh water, more than 90 percent of the pineapple
> and lettuce, 92 percent of the nation's fresh fruit, 95 percent of
> America's quality wines (you can serve French wines at state dinners)
> 90 percent of all cheese, 90 percent of the high tech industry, most
> of the U.S. low-sulfur coal, all living redwoods, sequoias and condors, all the
> Ivy and Seven Sister schools, plus Harvard, Yale, Stanford, Cal Tech
> and MIT.

> With the Red States, on the other hand, you will have to cope with 88
> percent of all obese Americans (and their projected health care
> costs), 92 percent of all U.S. mosquitoes, nearly 100 percent of the
> tornadoes, 90 percent of the hurricanes, 99 percent of all Southern
> Baptists, virtually 100 percent of all televangelists, Rush Limbaugh,
> Bob Jones University, Clemson and the University of Georgia.

> We get Hollywood and Yosemite, thank you.


> Additionally, 38 percent of those in the Red states believe Jonah was
> actually swallowed by a whale, 62 percent believe life is sacred
> unless we're discussing the death penalty or gun laws, 44 percent say
> that evolution is only a theory, 53 percent that Saddam was involved
> in 9/11 and 61 percent of you crazy bastards believe you are people
> with higher morals than we lefties.
 

> By the way, we're taking the good pot, too. You can have that dirt
> weed they grow in Mexico.
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○∙◄☻¥tπ[╪AV┼cVê└
jfern
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« Reply #1 on: July 08, 2005, 12:46:25 PM »

The amazing thing is that Monterey county, California has something like the majority of the stuff in your salad bowl, all by itself.
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Everett
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« Reply #2 on: July 08, 2005, 12:51:57 PM »

Can you post a map showing what the split would be like? I can't seem to get the map generator to work.
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A18
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« Reply #3 on: July 08, 2005, 01:04:52 PM »

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WMS
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« Reply #4 on: July 08, 2005, 01:32:41 PM »

So Wisconsin goes one way and New Mexico and Iowa go another way, all because they are SO clearly different in voting patterns? Roll Eyes

Seriously, how many counties in 'blue' states would refuse to go with this new country, and how many counties in 'red' states would want to join up? The level of fallacy in this email is astonishing - how much of all that stuff they brag about is actually controlled by 'red' counties? Tongue

And we haven't even started to get into the differences within the counties...

Silly people. Grin
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Moooooo
nickshepDEM
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« Reply #5 on: July 08, 2005, 01:39:29 PM »


I thought the best beaches were in Florida?
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7,052,770
Harry
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« Reply #6 on: July 08, 2005, 01:42:07 PM »

yall blue-staters better not go away and leave me here!
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Colin
ColinW
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« Reply #7 on: July 08, 2005, 01:46:16 PM »


you red staters better take PA with you since I wouldn't want to be part of that country. Although, according to this wonderful logic, all we have to do to change this is swing, what, about 1.5% towards the Republicans in the next election and then were automatically horrible, horrible, rotten, god-fearing, uneducated, uncouth, irresponsible, fat, lazy, red staters.
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bgwah
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« Reply #8 on: July 08, 2005, 02:48:15 PM »

Washington and Oregon would never join a country named "New California."
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DanielX
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« Reply #9 on: July 08, 2005, 04:01:21 PM »

(This assumes the popular blue/red split - not the Atlas split)

The two countries wouldn't be viable - the Blue States would fall apart because outside of New England, their rural communities will rebel in favor of the Red States.

The Red States are in slightly better shape, as most of the Blue communities are isolated in seas of Red. Still, they'd lose a lot of major cities.
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Rob
Bob
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« Reply #10 on: July 08, 2005, 04:24:55 PM »

WMS hit the nail on the head here. Do the Bush counties within the "Blue States" (I hate that term) also leave the country? Do the Kerry counties deep in the heart of "Bush Country" leave? Or was this just something some stoned hippie came up with no knowledge of the facts, simply assuming that everyone living in Kerry states actually voted for Kerry and vice versa?
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Keystone Phil
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« Reply #11 on: July 08, 2005, 04:52:19 PM »

I love it when my side wins elections. I get to read more ridiculous stuff from Democrats. What fun. Keep it up, guys. We'll be looking to break 300 EVs in 2008 and I'm sure you'll have no trouble helping us!
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Alcon
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« Reply #12 on: July 08, 2005, 04:55:29 PM »

I love it when my side wins elections. I get to read more ridiculous stuff from Democrats. What fun. Keep it up, guys. We'll be looking to break 300 EVs in 2008 and I'm sure you'll have no trouble helping us!

Oh, yes, because jfern really is what loses us election as opposed to, uh, actual policy.  And the GOP doesn't have any crazies that hurt them either.

Fred Phelps anyone?
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Keystone Phil
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« Reply #13 on: July 08, 2005, 04:58:03 PM »

I love it when my side wins elections. I get to read more ridiculous stuff from Democrats. What fun. Keep it up, guys. We'll be looking to break 300 EVs in 2008 and I'm sure you'll have no trouble helping us!

Oh, yes, because jfern really is what loses us election as opposed to, uh, actual policy.  And the GOP doesn't have any crazies that hurt them either.

Fred Phelps anyone?

What I'm saying is instead of focusing on policy, your loons are focused on this and I really enjoy it. Too bad it'll end someday. When are you guys planning on winning again? 2020?

And our loons are embarrassing but since we're discussing winning elections, atleast they're not preventing us from victory.
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Alcon
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« Reply #14 on: July 08, 2005, 05:03:41 PM »

I love it when my side wins elections. I get to read more ridiculous stuff from Democrats. What fun. Keep it up, guys. We'll be looking to break 300 EVs in 2008 and I'm sure you'll have no trouble helping us!

Oh, yes, because jfern really is what loses us election as opposed to, uh, actual policy.  And the GOP doesn't have any crazies that hurt them either.

Fred Phelps anyone?

What I'm saying is instead of focusing on policy, your loons are focused on this and I really enjoy it. Too bad it'll end someday. When are you guys planning on winning again? 2020?

And our loons are embarrassing but since we're discussing winning elections, atleast they're not preventing us from victory.

You really shouldn't use "you guys" unless the person you're talking to actually is involved in that kind of thing.  Democrats in general, for the most part, do not partake in that kind of crap, and I'm one that doesn't (at least I like to think I don't.)

I really do not agree with you that hackery is the primary reason we lost this year.  I think it was a poor candidate and policy issues that disagreed with the average American.  Certainly I don't think the hackery helped, but I think both sides have a fairly balanced level of annoyance from their extremists, and the Democrats' losing is more attributable to poor issue positions and candidates.
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Keystone Phil
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« Reply #15 on: July 08, 2005, 05:10:55 PM »



You really shouldn't use "you guys" unless the person you're talking to actually is involved in that kind of thing.  Democrats in general, for the most part, do not partake in that kind of crap, and I'm one that doesn't (at least I like to think I don't.)

"You guys" meant Democrats like BRTD and jfern. If you're not connected with it, don't respond. I would try to get a hold of loons like jfern though (if you want to win) because they're really hurting your party when November rolls around.


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Blame Bush, blame Bush, blame Bush was a reason for a Democratic loss last year. And when you continue to use stuff like that and when you continue to put down a majority of people in this country the way BRTD and jfern do, you keep losing. If they keep their act up, if they keep mocking religious people and keep accussing Republicans of being filthy rich greedy pigs, you lose.
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Gabu
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« Reply #16 on: July 08, 2005, 05:12:29 PM »

I would try to get a hold of loons like jfern though (if you want to win) because they're really hurting your party when November rolls around.

What exactly are we supposed to do?  Lock them up in a dungeon?
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Keystone Phil
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« Reply #17 on: July 08, 2005, 05:16:03 PM »

I would try to get a hold of loons like jfern though (if you want to win) because they're really hurting your party when November rolls around.

What exactly are we supposed to do?  Lock them up in a dungeon?

How about not allow them become leader of the Democratic party? Might be a start but I won't give you guys any more advice.  Wink
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Gabu
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« Reply #18 on: July 08, 2005, 05:21:17 PM »

I would try to get a hold of loons like jfern though (if you want to win) because they're really hurting your party when November rolls around.

What exactly are we supposed to do?  Lock them up in a dungeon?

How about not allow them become leader of the Democratic party? Might be a start but I won't give you guys any more advice.  Wink

You seem to be acting as if random people on an internet forum have any sway in national politics. Tongue
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Q
QQQQQQ
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« Reply #19 on: July 08, 2005, 07:18:33 PM »

all the Ivy and Seven Sister schools, plus Harvard, Yale, Stanford, Cal Tech and MIT.
Because Harvard and Yale are not Ivies?


This whole thing is brilliant because the people that live in a particular state are a monolith sharing the same exact worldview.
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TeePee4Prez
Flyers2004
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« Reply #20 on: July 08, 2005, 10:22:53 PM »


you red staters better take PA with you since I wouldn't want to be part of that country. Although, according to this wonderful logic, all we have to do to change this is swing, what, about 1.5% towards the Republicans in the next election and then were automatically horrible, horrible, rotten, god-fearing, uneducated, uncouth, irresponsible, fat, lazy, red staters.

Trade: Central PA and Western Maryland to the Red for Northern Virginia and Northeastern Ohio.  We got a deal?  Keystone Phil, have fun in bumbleland with soulty!
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Colin
ColinW
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« Reply #21 on: July 08, 2005, 10:33:42 PM »


you red staters better take PA with you since I wouldn't want to be part of that country. Although, according to this wonderful logic, all we have to do to change this is swing, what, about 1.5% towards the Republicans in the next election and then were automatically horrible, horrible, rotten, god-fearing, uneducated, uncouth, irresponsible, fat, lazy, red staters.

Trade: Central PA and Western Maryland to the Red for Northern Virginia and Northeastern Ohio.  We got a deal?  Keystone Phil, have fun in bumbleland with soulty!

What about my town, Pittsburgh? We would probably fit in more with a Red State nation than with a Blue State one.
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PBrunsel
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« Reply #22 on: July 08, 2005, 10:35:12 PM »

We have the guns, you have the lawyers. Who would win this Civil War? Wink
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12th Doctor
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« Reply #23 on: July 08, 2005, 10:53:28 PM »

The funny thing is, prior to 2004, they used to say that it was Republicans who concentrated on the map too much.
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12th Doctor
supersoulty
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« Reply #24 on: July 08, 2005, 11:10:02 PM »

While we are at it, why not split the "Blue State Nation" into states that voted on common economics and states that voted on common social issues.  With this way of thinging, it is bound to happen sooner or later, once the people in CT find out that they are the exact opposite of the people in Michigan.

Here is the new map:

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