Update for Everyone V: Born Under A Bad Sign

[Since I'm the mad scientist proclaimed by myself]

Those guys are ranting about CISGENDER people already? Not that I'm surprised, but geez...

Not a surprising side effect of feeling(and not exactly illegitimately) that the world hates you.

[Since I'm the mad scientist proclaimed by myself]

Those guys are ranting about CISGENDER people already? Not that I'm surprised, but geez...

Not a surprising side effect of feeling(and not exactly illegitimately) that the world hates you.

That would be like if in 1946 Jews (who were about the same % of the population that transgender people are) started saying "all goyim are awful!"

It's absurd - cisgender people are 99% of the population. Not only is it therefore dangerous, it's also quite stupid.

I said it's understandable, not that it's right.

[Since I'm the mad scientist proclaimed by myself]

Talked a lot with someone cool and told them a lot about my life that I had never told anyone else.

[Since I'm the mad scientist proclaimed by myself]

Reading the first few chapters of this webcomic has made me think a lot about the concept of masculinity in a way I haven't before.

[Since I'm the mad scientist proclaimed by myself]

I'm happy drunk rn. why cant i be happy sober? #PhilosoSunriseThoughts

Good question.

I wonder what I'd look like drunkposting on atlas. Won't get to find out because I'm trying to not drink alcohol anymore.

[Since I'm the mad scientist proclaimed by myself]

Was reading this old thing of mine (My words and description give some interesting insights into me, esp at that time. Divination's themselves don't say much but are fun) and now I'm thinking of him, among other things.

Maybe I should edit it and add new thoughts?

[Since I'm the mad scientist proclaimed by myself]

A creepy, balded old guy was leering at me on the bus home today. 

Part of the reason I got so scared about him is that I ended up in an encounter with him before(about march or april of last year). He talking to me and he asked me whether I went to a particular school(probably other things as well, I think he mentioned "grandkids" at some point), I realized he probably had very unpleasant intentions, but of course it was after I answered the question. In hindsight, it was an attempt at grooming. A second time in that schoolyear, I saw him and I think I tried to hide in an upper part of the bus(My specific memory of these two events are hazy)

Back to today. He was staring at me. He would look around at things sometimes, but not in a "badly pretending you weren't leering" way. As I was getting visibly uncomfortable, and then visibly afraid, he just kept on, and when I moved up to the back of the bus(which had stairs up to them and were higher, among other things. And it was the very back.) he kept on looking. I moved to a different seat behind some random bigger guy to try to avoid him. The bastard still tried to crane his neck up at least once. Its important to recognize that everything about this guy said DANGER. I find it hard to explain with words exactly why he was so scary, but I don't want to know what he thinks about me. But I suspect that he got off to my fear, my look of terror. I'd say he wanted to rape me, but I think he wants even worse.


I'm still a bit shaken from it, but I'm calmer now.

[Since I'm the mad scientist proclaimed by myself]

A creepy, balded old guy was leering at me on the bus home today. 

Part of the reason I got so scared about him is that I ended up in an encounter with him before(about march or april of last year). He talking to me and he asked me whether I went to a particular school(probably other things as well, I think he mentioned "grandkids" at some point), I realized he probably had very unpleasant intentions, but of course it was after I answered the question. In hindsight, it was an attempt at grooming. A second time in that schoolyear, I saw him and I think I tried to hide in an upper part of the bus(My specific memory of these two events are hazy)

Back to today. He was staring at me. He would look around at things sometimes, but not in a "badly pretending you weren't leering" way. As I was getting visibly uncomfortable, and then visibly afraid, he just kept on, and when I moved up to the back of the bus(which had stairs up to them and were higher, among other things. And it was the very back.) he kept on looking. I moved to a different seat behind some random bigger guy to try to avoid him. The bastard still tried to crane his neck up at least once. Its important to recognize that everything about this guy said DANGER. I find it hard to explain with words exactly why he was so scary, but I don't want to know what he thinks about me. But I suspect that he got off to my fear, my look of terror. I'd say he wanted to rape me, but I think he wants even worse.


I'm still a bit shaken from it, but I'm calmer now.

Holy sh*t that sounds horrifying. Is there anyway to report these incidents? Do you know the driver of the bus? maybe he has a camera on the bus so you can spot him on there.

The bastard didn't break any laws. There's nothing that can be done.

[Since I'm the mad scientist proclaimed by myself]

Yikes. I guess the good thing is that there's not much he can do on the bus itself, as long as he doesn't know your stop or where you go from there. All the same, do you think you could get on an earlier bus or something?

I don't encounter him often. This was the third time in almost a year. Thinking about it from a calmer perspective, he could be dangerous, but he hasn't tried getting on at different times to be find when I usually get off or waited for my stop(yet). I'm fairly certain he'd do terrible things if he knew he could get away with it, but considering how he seemed to try to groom me at first and didn't bother following up after I realized what was going on and freaked out, he probably doesn't try to capture girls that he can't groom. Perhaps he thinks its too risky? He is old, and likely relies on coercion or drugs to do his "thing". But if I'd been just a bit more naive at that time and he was able to get close enough to become a "friend"...

I should still be ready to defend myself. I wonder how risky hiding a knife in my backpack would be?

[Since I'm the mad scientist proclaimed by myself]

Lonliness hurts.

I feel ya. Everything OK?

Yeah. I just didn't have anyone to talk to during my schools breakfast period(2 hours on mondays/tuesdays due to scheduling stuff).

I still get lonely sometimes, but the problem seems to be getting better(as of last thursday).

[Since I'm the mad scientist proclaimed by myself]

Lonliness hurts.

I've been lonely for 28 and a half year so I'm not particulary impressed.

Thanks for the politeness.

[Since I'm the mad scientist proclaimed by myself]

I've decided that instead of wait for bursts of creativity, I'm just gonna force myself to write at least 2 pages a day. Even if I run into a road block for the project I'm working on; I'll briefly trade onto a different project for the day.

I've heard that doing this is important for being able to make things. Its a good idea.

[Since I'm the mad scientist proclaimed by myself]

Ditching a pep rally because A.F**k those stupid things, and B. My poor eardrums don't deserve to be ruptured.

Currently about 70% sure I'm still alive.

What happened?

[Since I'm the mad scientist proclaimed by myself]

I've been watching things and learning who Hillary really was, and at the same time seeing things from right out of the election. Hillary should have won. Hillary deserved the seat. After all she's been through, after all she's done... Its become almost personal, the dismissal of such an incredible person under the excuse of a "lack of authenticity" and a shell created by people attacking her for asserting herself in her days in Arkansas and the White House, demanding that she meet every little BS nitpick about body language while the orange rapist got no such scrutiny, the idea that she was equally dishonest as trump, "a corrupt wall street shill" and other such disgusting attacks that frankly, come from pure sexism, the country cheering on the attempts of a completely unqualified ideological hack to usurp her place in the democratic nomination(I wouldn't have a problem with another candidate who deserved their place mounting a challenge, but bernie wasn't that) because of gud speaking skills and being a man oops, not supposed to say that, that's not politically correct, and then, despite being one of the most experienced, qualified, and capable presidential candidates in all of history, losing the presidency to a man so laughably unqualified that even me, in my current teenage state, could run an administration 10 times as good as his without preparing for the job. Its disgusting, its awful, and it shows just how awful america is and has always been. If Hillary was a male, she would have won in a landslide.

[Since I'm the mad scientist proclaimed by myself]

I've been watching things and learning who Hillary really was, and at the same time seeing things from right out of the election. Hillary should have won. Hillary deserved the seat. After all she's been through, after all she's done... Its become almost personal, the dismissal of such an incredible person under the excuse of a "lack of authenticity" and a shell created by people attacking her for asserting herself in her days in Arkansas and the White House, demanding that she meet every little BS nitpick about body language while the orange rapist got no such scrutiny, the idea that she was equally dishonest as trump, "a corrupt wall street shill" and other such disgusting attacks that frankly, come from pure sexism, the country cheering on the attempts of a completely unqualified ideological hack to usurp her place in the democratic nomination(I wouldn't have a problem with another candidate who deserved their place mounting a challenge, but bernie wasn't that) because of gud speaking skills and being a man oops, not supposed to say that, that's not politically correct, and then, despite being one of the most experienced, qualified, and capable presidential candidates in all of history, losing the presidency to a man so laughably unqualified that even me, in my current teenage state, could run an administration 10 times as good as his without preparing for the job. Its disgusting, its awful, and it shows just how awful america is and has always been. If Hillary was a male, she would have won in a landslide.

If Hillary was a male, she wouldn't have gotten through the primaries. Jesus Christ, no-one deserves the presidency.

And Bernie sanders can mount a nomination challenge to Hillary Clinton, the goddess, and he has the right to, he doesn't deserve to win, but deserves to challenge her, as do other democratic nominees.

If Clinton would make such a good president, she should've seen the incoming electoral challanges, and not have places an incompetent campaign strategy of appealing to only upper-middle class college educated surburbia. She lost to Obama as she did to Trump, because she's a horrible politician, who deserves nothing just because of her position of power.

I know having ideological positions and morals that helps the poor and the working class, is an ideological hack, for people that support the immortal, goddess, Hillary Clinton, as only sexism stopped her from winning and nothing else, as her horrible campaign strategy, and her being a horrible politician, and only being considered to be president, because of her rapist husband, Bill Clinton.

The actual context of the infamous deplorable quote was effectively"Trumps supporters are half evil (rich) racists but the other half is struggling people who need help. She worked to get where she did, she fought to get where she did, and yet, the country (kind of) decided to elect f**king donald instead. She did talk about her policies and helping the poor, its just that no one listened. Clinton is her own woman, the idea that she was riding off bill ignores that she was helping to run the white house until the public beat the strength out of her. This idea that Hillary couldn't have won the primary as a man is ridiculous. She is an inspiring person, a brilliant woman, an excellent public servant if you actually listen. My respect for her comes from my deeper then usual knowledge of who she is. Sanders doesn't have the incredible list of things she did(eg actually trying to get a child bride to the US to help her), he isn't a worthy opponent to her. I wouldn't be mad if she almost lost the primary to a dedicated public servant like ...  maybe Kaine, Booker, Pelosi?

[Since I'm the mad scientist proclaimed by myself]

Y'all may be in for a few drunkposts courtesy of yours truly. Though my grammer is actually not affected that badly by alcohol.

[Since I'm the mad scientist proclaimed by myself]

The music seems faster. Must be an effect of alcohol.

[Since I'm the mad scientist proclaimed by myself]

Welp. It's time to get ready for school and the alcohol isn't out yet. I'm way more sober then I was, and I can probably make myself look sober in public, but it's still unpleasant. Doesn't help that I got so little sleep last night.

[Since I'm the mad scientist proclaimed by myself]

I jury-rigged my warm leg-length woolen winter skirt and matching button-down vest into an outfit for warm weather 'cause I was feeling too hot in a class. I taped the skirt to my legs a decent amount above my knees and tied up my vest thingy to expose my midriff. Its more comfortable, esp when I put water on my midriff and legs(which is really nice in its cooling effects).

[Since I'm the mad scientist proclaimed by myself]

Slowly learning how to not give a f**k.

[Since I'm the mad scientist proclaimed by myself]

How about you all just quit smoking?

This.

I'm sure they've never heard that before.

[Since I'm the mad scientist proclaimed by myself]

How about you all just quit smoking?

This.

I'm sure they've never heard that before.

If they're still smoking, it means they haven't heard it often enough.

I highly doubt random people on an internet forum saying "you people should quit smoking" is very effective.

[Since I'm the mad scientist proclaimed by myself]

Just because doing the right thing isn't likely to make a difference doesn't mean it's not the right thing to do.

I find the idea that telling random strangers online something about their health they've heard a thousand times before(quitting isn't exactly easy, btw) when you know it won't do any good is "the right thing to do" a foreign one.

[Since I'm the mad scientist proclaimed by myself]

Interesting morning...

Funny how actually socializing with someone can feel. I should do it more often.

[Since I'm the mad scientist proclaimed by myself]

Massive kudos for having the courage to come out!

congrats, Peebs.

Congrats, Peebs, hopefully that turns out well.

Thanks!
Also, it seems they haven't read it yet, so I guess the end line of it ("Quitting the male gender/safety for Lent") isn't cold turkey.

Hope it goes well...