Update for Everyone V: Born Under A Bad Sign

[JA]

I spent yesterday at my dad's funeral to finally lay him to rest, then my friend's car broke down in a mostly empty parking lot in the city at 9pm and we had to wait there for his parents to come. I didn't get home until almost midnight. Pretty crappy day.

[JA]

I just came back inside from burying my dad's sick cat who died today. The very day after my dad's funeral. This has been quite the weekend. But, to quote Robert Frost, "In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life: it goes on."

[JA]

Several days ago the person who I liked came out to the world as a trans guy. Surprisingly, his parents were accepting of him.

That's great his parents were so accepting of him! I know that's quite a rare thing for parents to be so understanding of something like that. Do you know if he likes you back?

[JA]

Just met my goal of getting a dozen petitions for Florida's potential 2018 felon voting rights amendment. Two of my neighbors were no on it for a while now but I convinced them to at least help it get to a vote even if they didn't intend to vote for it.

...only 700,000 to go, or something like that

Is there an electronic version I can sign? I fully support this idea and would like to see it put to a vote.

[JA]

I've had a long coversation with a theology graduate, who happened to be a schizophrenic who just ran out of his meds.

It was an interesting experience.

Now I'm curious. Mind telling us some of the highlights?

[JA]

Mr. Morden,

Unfortunately, I do not know of any large rental websites that allow you to restrict your searches by lease length. But trulia and apartments.com have some pretty good listings for San Francisco and you can include the surrounding areas with the map feature if you want to consider places outside of the city limits.

[JA]

Does being in a relationship make your depression easier to cope with?

Yes and no. The emotional support that comes with a healthy relationship, along with the confidence and a sense of purpose or belonging, certainly helps. But it's unlikely to eliminate the depression and may cause it to manifest in different ways, such as feeling that you're a burden on them, that they'd be better off without you, and enormous insecurities during the first months of the relationship.

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It's highly unlikely that a relationship alone can directly or indirectly lead to depression going away, even in the healthiest and most emotionally supportive ones. But if you can find a sense of purpose in it, that can certainly give you the motivation to try harder at life; conversely, it can also make you feel worse if you are unable to achieve what you believe you need to or should.

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I'm sure there are people with experiences like that, but I cannot speak from personal experience on this question.

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I've noticed my suicidal thoughts have decreased in romantic relationships. It really helps to have someone who listens; never underestimate the power of having someone with whom you can vent and talk out your issues. A lot of people with depression feel they have no one who can understand them, cares, or will listen; a good partner can eliminate or greatly reduce those feelings.

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I'm pretty certain you'd become a burden if that's all you ever talk about with them or if they sense no progress is being made, especially if it's a new relationship. Depression isn't easy for either partner, so it's best not to overwhelm them with it. They're human too and if they always associate conversations with you with negative emotions, that will become increasingly difficult for them to bear.

[JA]

Obligatory prayer/positive vibes request... I'm sorry if I'm bumming anyone out.  I'm crying now.

I can relate to you a lot, Scott. I've had very severe depression, generalized anxiety, and especially social anxiety (along with ADHD from childhood) - all diagnosed - for years now. Not to mention IBS that is interconnected with my anxiety disorders. Lots of fun. So, trust me when I say I can very much sympathize with your situation. But even if IRL social interaction is difficult for you, you can try making friends or forming an LDR online; I've found that to be much easier to handle and while it's not as good as face to face interactions and physical intimacy, it can do a lot to help you and is significantly better than total social isolation. That's when all the awful thoughts haunt you constantly and you stay up all night, locked away in your room, only making it worse.

Funny enough, I think I vowed to remain celibate for similar reasons a few years ago. I didn't want to burden anyone with my problems, nor did I feel capable of forming and maintaining a lasting relationship - or any at all. Plus I envied all the socially adjusted people like you do. "Were they let in on a secret that I wasn't? They all just seem to get it effortlessly, yet I try and try but can't figure it out. Screw all that then, I'll just focus my time and energy on my intellectual and leisurely hobbies. I can deal without all that." But deep down you know you can't.

So, I'll certainly send positive vibes your way and I definitely hope you can find a way to start feeling better very soon.

[JA]

Omg she's adorable, Scott!

[JA]

I have pneumonia during the week I have to write my final paper, find storage for some friends possessions that I've been holding, and move out of my apartment. It's gonna be a hell of a week.

That sounds like absolute hell. I'm probably mistaken, but I thought pneumonia was more of a winter time disease? I hope you're able to find the time and energy to write a good final paper.

[JA]

I have pneumonia during the week I have to write my final paper, find storage for some friends possessions that I've been holding, and move out of my apartment. It's gonna be a hell of a week.

That sounds like absolute hell. I'm probably mistaken, but I thought pneumonia was more of a winter time disease? I hope you're able to find the time and energy to write a good final paper.

It's actually Bronchitis, the CVS MinuteClinic got it all wrong. But my papers coming along and the anti-biotics work so it's way better now.

Get well soon, dude. Bronchitis is pretty nasty.

[JA]

My mom has to stay overnight at the hospital for further observation. She went there because for like two weeks she's been having constant heart flutters or whatever that's called. Considering my dad passed suddenly in December due to heart complications, I'm really worried.

According to the internet, it's most likely stress related, which she has a lot of lately. It's rarely anything serious, which is good. So, I'm less worried now, but it's still scary. Hopefully it's just stress.

[JA]

^ Best wishes.

Thank you, Cora

[JA]

Thank you guys for all the prayers and well wishes! I got an update on her situation and it is good. She still has to perform a stress test and have the doctors go over the results with her before she can leave, but after the tests performed they've found she has Premature Ventricular Contractions, which is a common and relatively harmless condition likely attributable to stress and anxiety. They're giving her meds for it. So, all should be good as long as the stress test turns out fine!

[JA]

I was attacked by a bunch of alt-righters last night.  Those people are scary!

What happened?

He went to meet up with Santander and his friends, but realized it was a trap when it was too late.

[JA]

I was attacked by a bunch of alt-righters last night.  Those people are scary!

What happened?

He went to meet up with Santander and his friends, but realized it was a trap when it was too late.

I made an anti-alt-right Facebook post and retweeted a video of a prominent alt-righter saying some disgusting things.  A swarm of them then attacked my pages, mostly resorting to criticizing my weight and that I apparently am a baby boomer type of conservative instead of a millennial one (which they view as the alt-right).  One's profile actually said that the alt-right isn't extreme enough and that she is a Nazi instead (despite having a Jewish-sounding last name herself).

[JA]

Very sorry to hear this......NJ

Seconded. I know losing a beloved pet can be very difficult and heart breaking.

[JA]

My (now ex-)girlfriend and I broke up today. 2 year relationship ended because she decided to outright ignore me for 2 days and spend today posting pics of another guy on Snapchat sleeping over, them drinking milkshakes together with hearts, and him shirtless making pizzas, while not bothering to read my messages or message me back.

[JA]

Yeah, cheating confirmed. She told my friend, since he messaged her about this, and said "he broke up with me lolol. I'm sad, but I don't deserve to be." Some people can be pretty awful. Not going to let it ruin my perception of other people though.

Also thanks guys! I truly appreciate all the support

[JA]

My (now ex-)girlfriend and I broke up today. 2 year relationship ended because she decided to outright ignore me for 2 days and spend today posting pics of another guy on Snapchat sleeping over, them drinking milkshakes together with hearts, and him shirtless making pizzas, while not bothering to read my messages or message me back.

That sucks, man. Does she have a car? I would go Carrie Underwood on that sh**t.

Nah, man. That's rather petty and uncalled for. If she has a conscience at all, that'll do worse to her in the end than anything I could do.

[JA]

The Saint, there's is a tangible benefit to not feeling strongly tied to any political identity or movement, and of taking a historical perspective. This, of course, can lead to callousness and coldness, but I prefer being tethered by my conscience and sense of humor rather than a political identity (though I still retain one, rather weakly).

^^ This

The Sant,

Except I don't think having a strong political ideology is that bad; it's party politics that's so nasty and depressing. Ever since distancing myself from the Democratic Party and label, I feel I can think more clearly. That tribalism morphs into emoting and is driven by the media cycle. So, definitely focus on being more independent in your beliefs, take a more historical perspective on politics like others have suggested, and try not to take it too seriously. You need to stay informed, but don't obsess over it. Don't put anyone on ignore, just learn to read their nonsense and laugh or roll your eyes then keep scrolling.

[JA]

I started talking to a girl I met and it was going pretty well, but she wants to join the navy and the things she says it's like talking to my ex. I found myself feeling really upset when talking to her. So, obviously, I'm nowhere near ready for another relationship and still hoping like an idiot that my ex texts me back (and fighting the urge to text her. We agreed to stay friends but I said I wanted some time away). Somebody please kill me now!

[JA]

Yes, Discord Atlas is sadly infested with the likes of Eharding, Coraxion, and Young Texan.  That's why I stopped going on there.

Is this platform mobile friendly? I'm asking for a friend of course.

I totally wouldn't use it to troll these people - heavens no. I'm a good boy.

It is!

Ooh! That makes me a happy panda.

If you say that again, I'm going to have Trump deport you to the Island of Misfit Mascots.

[JA]

Congrats, Saguaro!

[JA]

I'm the happiest I've been in a really long time. I started talking again to this girl I met last month as a friend, but stopped talking to for a couple weeks because I was still with my ex then went through that breakup, and we clicked so quick. I hate talking on the phone, but when talking to her time just flew; have so many shared interests, are incredibly comfortable with each other (like no anxiety even), and it's just pretty great. We're going out next week, spending the whole night together going all over town.