Update for Everyone V: Born Under A Bad Sign

[America Needs R'hllor]

Like many other government organizations, the army is annoyingly opaque. Still 0 idea to what role will I get conscripted.

[America Needs R'hllor]

My grandmother died today, but it has been long coming, she really has been suffering a lot and not really living lately. While I do feel sad, I also feel like she, and my father who was strongly suffering seeing his mother's condition, finally have peace.
I have to say that all of this increased my support for euthanasia- for what is life, really, if you just suffer all day long and know that there is no hope for recovery? It's not really life.

[America Needs R'hllor]

Told my mother I'm gay. Can't say the reaction was amazing, but at least it was mildly accepting.
Also found out my sister is Lesbian- I'm kinda mad that they didn't tell me as if it's some terrible secret.

[America Needs R'hllor]

1. Sudden burst of dysphoria
2. Start thinking "hey, maybe I should talk to my folks about transitioning again"
3. Realize the "talking to my folks" part
4. Chicken out like a little bitch
5. Back to step 1

Yeah, the folks can be really rough with their reactions, even when they're well-meaning and do love you. If I knew my mother's "I'm devastated" reaction after I told her I'm gay before the act, I'd probably chicken out too.
Did you ever tell/hint your parents anything about being trans?

[America Needs R'hllor]

Did you ever tell/hint your parents anything about being trans?

Accidentally came out to my mom last November, officially came out to my folks in March, and I borderline flaunt it at this point. They apparently just want me to actually talk to them about things, which again, I chicken out of. I was supposed to see a shrink about the fact and other things, but evidently, that hasn't materialized into much. Maybe I should go to driver's ed and take matters into my own hands. I mean, I'm 16, so what do I have to lose?

Yeah, it's totally understandable. Was their reaction alright, all things considered?

[America Needs R'hllor]

Yeah, it's totally understandable. Was their reaction alright, all things considered?

They've warmed up to the idea. Was decidedly mixed in November and March, but leaned positive in July (which is where I left off).

This is very good news, you're lucky to have parents who are open to the idea
My mother once took me aside and had a very strict, worried talk about the fact that I had a customized gender on Facebook. The customization was just some in-joke meme that I did with my friends and forgot to change back, but even seemed to cause her a lot of worry. It was really depressing to see her reacting that way, so I'm happy your parents are warming up to it.

[America Needs R'hllor]

I was officially accepted to the special army program called Atuda today. Basically, I get to study for a BA, the degree mostly funded by the army (but I'll still have to pay for the dormitories and living), and then serve for 6 years, but as an officer working in something related to whatever I studied. Specifically, I'm going to study International Relations and Economy in Jerusalem, but my job in the army will be in the Budgeting Division because they need those more. It kind of sucks because I wanted something related to international relations, which is much rarer but much more interesting to me- analyzing threats, information etc. Oh, well, it's still 6 years of experience helping to manage the defence budget and I'll be able to do a Master's Degree while in the army.

[America Needs R'hllor]

I was officially accepted to the special army program called Atuda today. Basically, I get to study for a BA, the degree mostly funded by the army (but I'll still have to pay for the dormitories and living), and then serve for 6 years, but as an officer working in something related to whatever I studied. Specifically, I'm going to study International Relations and Economy in Jerusalem, but my job in the army will be in the Budgeting Division because they need those more. It kind of sucks because I wanted something related to international relations, which is much rarer but much more interesting to me- analyzing threats, information etc. Oh, well, it's still 6 years of experience helping to manage the defence budget and I'll be able to do a Master's Degree while in the army.

Thats amazing. mazel tov.

Toda!

[America Needs R'hllor]

dentist visit today

I hate going to the dentist.


Anyways, Shana tova, to my fellow tribe members. Hope we all have a good Rosh Hashanah and a sweet new year.

Shana Tova!
Also, today I realized the grim reality of University accommodations. Yay

[America Needs R'hllor]

a fb friend of mine who moved to Israel just came out on social media as bisexual. so after reading his post, i came out to him to show support for him.

very interesting week it's been for me.

This is awesome!

[America Needs R'hllor]

I was officially accepted to the special army program called Atuda today. Basically, I get to study for a BA, the degree mostly funded by the army (but I'll still have to pay for the dormitories and living), and then serve for 6 years, but as an officer working in something related to whatever I studied.

Rant incoming:
I was just notified that a free laptop I'm supposed to be receiving from a program that helps periphery students that participate in the Atuda (explanation in the quote), will only be given in the end of the first year of university. This is the dumbest thing I've heard today, and makes no sense at all. What use would a laptop be to me AFTER I studied a whole year?! I'll need to buy one anyway.
They said nothing about that tiny detail in their website- they just wrote that I'll receive a laptop- so now I need to find a way to get a lapton two weeks before university starts. The worst thing is that so far, this program has been of no use at all to me, and I'll need to do several hours of volunteering ANYWAY. This makes me think that government welfare programs are just plain dumb and nonsensical, and that the money should be invested elsewhere in a way that actually helps people.

[America Needs R'hllor]

My father: We can celebrate mother's and grandfather's birthday next Friday. I guess it fits, since you're going to university the day after.
Me: WHAT

So I'm going to completely change my life and move to the univeristy campus soon, and I didn't even notice that it's so damn soon. Whoops.

[America Needs R'hllor]

I saw my dorm room today. Ew.

[America Needs R'hllor]

I had to wear an IDF uniform yesterday.
While it's hot and uncomfortable, I have to say that the sturdy boots are fun, and that it's pretty cool when the bus driver just waves you in.
Also, this uniform can do magic to people- there was someone in the recruitment office with me who dressed pretty badly, and thus looked meh. But when he wore that uniform... damn. A whole new person. On the other hand, some people just don't look good in it, so it's really a hit or miss.
Lastly, I discovered a problem I have- I just can't handle short-term connections, that is, casually befriending someone you likely won't ever see again, like in the conscription office. When the realization hits that I won't see them again, I start thinking that I didn't do proper farewells and get a mini depression for a day or two.

[America Needs R'hllor]

I'm now in my dorm room. It feels weird.

[America Needs R'hllor]

I'm not now in my dorm room. It feels weird.

Uh oh!

Typo