Update for Everyone V: Born Under A Bad Sign

[🐒Gods of Prosperity🔱🐲💸]

How about you all just quit smoking?

This.


I went to this really rad video game/comic/general nerd shop about half an hour away from school with my friends today and it was really awesome. I've been in a genuinely good mood for the last few weeks consistently. Still some down moments, but they are much fewer and further between. I'm enjoying the little things more.

That's quite a coincidence.

[🐒Gods of Prosperity🔱🐲💸]

I can't really do any more genealogy work. Considering folks in 19th century Appalachia and Louisiana aren't the best at keeping records on the whereabouts of white trash indentured servants. And I can just tell that literacy is a very recent development in my family.

How far back have you gotten? Have you had any luck with Census records?

[🐒Gods of Prosperity🔱🐲💸]

The town whose municipal government my mom works in got hit by a tornado several nights ago. It's the first February tornado in Massachusetts in recorded history.

Was it bad?

[🐒Gods of Prosperity🔱🐲💸]

Made a joke about the scissors in class by explaining a potential defense for HB2: "Scissors are sharp, see. But not too sharp, because that wouldn't be a problem." When asked what the scissors meant, I motioned toward their use using my fingers. The class assumed that scissors where a metaphor for authority, rather than chopping my (well, the person who wields the scissors's) dick off.

whaaa?!? 

[🐒Gods of Prosperity🔱🐲💸]

First motorbike drive this year Of course I had to first put it together, which was annoying, but I feel great

was it an IKEA?

[🐒Gods of Prosperity🔱🐲💸]

Oh, by the way, I'm a published author.

Cool. A book?

[🐒Gods of Prosperity🔱🐲💸]

Ramadan starts tomorrow, working at a restaurant during Ramadan really tests you sometimes, this year it is now May 27th to potentially June 24th this year. Summer Ramadans suck.

Ouch (Working in the restaurant bit).... being in Florida probably makes it harder than in Northern States because this time of year, daylight lasts way too long down there. I was only living in Texas, but I'm sure South Florida is even worse, since it is closer to the equator.

Why "Potentially" June 24th this year?

I mean don't the calendar conversion programs allow you to know exactly when it ends where you are living based upon the time of sunset, even you are not associated with a local community center?

It's the other way around. In June the days are longer as you go further north. Above the Arctic Circle the sun never sets. I was in Moscow for a couple weeks in June and there was barely 3 hours of nighttime.

My uncle in Alberta has to fast until 10:25 now, I only fast to ~8:17 and start at 5:12 am. Also because our calendar is lunar the number of days in a month can change, last year Ramadan was 30 days, this year it's most likely 29 days since the previous two months have been 30 days each.

When do you find out?

[🐒Gods of Prosperity🔱🐲💸]

Today marks four years since my dad died.  I feel like the ensuing depression kicked in all of the last two days.  I can barely think straight, my body temperature's been all over the place, and my muscles are so stiff I feel like I'm 90.

Great, now I'm crying.

I hope you are able to find some help for dealing with this.


Tender,  Your pictures always make me so jealous. I am going to have to go live near the mountains.

[🐒Gods of Prosperity🔱🐲💸]

I'm slowly beginning to pick up the 'ole keyboard again.  It's been so long since I last practiced.  So, I whipped up a short song in less than five minutes on Garageband.  I don't normally post my art or music work here, but since it's never going public/in any albums or whatever, I thought why the hell not.

http://vocaroo.com/i/s1fKzS1LTfvG

Starts off decent in the beginning, kinda goes to sht as the song progresses.  But hey, babysteps.  I apologize for any ensuing ear torture.

Not bad overall, it's got sort of a neat quiet mystical quality to a lot of it.

[🐒Gods of Prosperity🔱🐲💸]

Does "business professional" imply I wear a suit? The only one I own was bought in 2010 for a funeral. I am shaped slightly differently now.

means tuxedo + chef's hat.

[🐒Gods of Prosperity🔱🐲💸]

Scott I hope you can start to feel better, and that you won't force yourself to be a completely solitary person if the opportunity for companionship arises. 
Also thanks for including me in your chart.  Does this mean I am officially a centaurist?

anvi, that's exciting about the new position!  Spreek je Nederlands?

[🐒Gods of Prosperity🔱🐲💸]

anvi, that's exciting about the new position!  Spreek je Nederlands?

Uhm, what. Spreek jij ook Nederlands?

okay so obviously neither I nor Google speak the language.

[🐒Gods of Prosperity🔱🐲💸]

I started slipping into depression the last couple weeks and started having suicidal thoughts, that is when I realized I needed to get some help and am starting to see a therapist. Lately I have been feeling like I am a burden on everyone in my life and that sometimes it'd be better if I just disappeared. Home life has been bad lately and my work life was getting good, but now it's regressing to becoming much worse than before.

I can barely sustain myself the last month or two, I am no longer able to really afford the things I need since my hours got slashed cause LOL REASONS, I have become desperate and started to beg people I know for money which furthers my idea that I am becoming a burden. I literally have been breaking down and just losing my s*** and just start sobbing. Got recommendations for some anti-depression pills and I will NOT take them because I have heard horrible things about them.

Which anti-depressant? Abilify has worked wonders for me,

Zoloft.

I was on that for a while. Look how I turned out.

The main thing with these kinds of medications is that you try them and pay close attention to how you respond, any changes in how you feel.  They work differently for everyone.

[🐒Gods of Prosperity🔱🐲💸]

My mom has to stay overnight at the hospital for further observation. She went there because for like two weeks she's been having constant heart flutters or whatever that's called. Considering my dad passed suddenly in December due to heart complications, I'm really worried.

According to the internet, it's most likely stress related, which she has a lot of lately. It's rarely anything serious, which is good. So, I'm less worried now, but it's still scary. Hopefully it's just stress.

Sure, it can be scary.  I hope things go well for her.

[🐒Gods of Prosperity🔱🐲💸]

Dealing with a friend who was about to actually kill himself right now. I haven't been having a good day at all...

Dang sorry to hear that, but sounds like you are being a great friend.

[🐒Gods of Prosperity🔱🐲💸]

Did you ever tell/hint your parents anything about being trans?

Accidentally came out to my mom last November, officially came out to my folks in March, and I borderline flaunt it at this point. They apparently just want me to actually talk to them about things, which again, I chicken out of. I was supposed to see a shrink about the fact and other things, but evidently, that hasn't materialized into much. Maybe I should go to driver's ed and take matters into my own hands. I mean, I'm 16, so what do I have to lose?

driver's ed is a solution how?

[🐒Gods of Prosperity🔱🐲💸]

driver's ed is a solution how?

Mode of transportation, I guess? I'm probably just too optimistic on the matter (somehow).

transportation to the shrink you mean?

[🐒Gods of Prosperity🔱🐲💸]

I spent most of yesterday touring some farms making use of technology for more efficient and sustainable agriculture. The robots in a milking barn allows are becoming quite sophisticated, keeping human hands and their germs off of the udders. Here's the manufacturer's video.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1Vo4NJU5wTk

They even had a Dalek to help in the barn like this one.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PyjRHjmXnTE

I'm pretty sure I heard it say "Now ruminate. Now ruminate."

somehow I find this highly disturbing.