Update for Everyone V: Born Under A Bad Sign

[Sprouts Farmers Market ✘]

I pray that more than half of my 34 are sarcastic snipes rather than updates.

Anyway - after last night - in which I spent about 7 hours deleting my incessant Facebook posting from 2009-2011 and censoring parts of my Twitter - I am now convinced that 16 should be the age to post on the Internet. My history was literally Shirley Cain-esque posts which made no sense and had (often intentional) spelling errors in addition to posting the score of literally every single minor league baseball game. I wanted to ask what is wrong with me specifically and then I checked the profiles of several friends who were similarly embarrassing (and I would not expect these people to be). Only a few followed sports, but the posting of nightly homework progress updates, etc., etc.! I mean, WHO CARE to the max. Can I please delete this entire part of my life?! I don't even understand what Facebook was in this era!

At least 95% of what I post on here is a joke so there is no need to censor, but geez, hope I never look back on this as badly as I do at that.

[Sprouts Farmers Market ✘]

I got into a screaming match at work with an Emory student about the upper middle class and their politics. Eventually it devolved into her holding her hand in my face and shouting "HILLBILLY" every time I tried to start a sentence. This is the first time I've ever been tempted to take a swing at someone during a political discussion.

Woo-wee, go git 'er Jambalaya Jethro. Riches get stitches. Bougies become Ref-ugees.

[Sprouts Farmers Market ✘]

"Human": [shares something on Facebook about #NotMyMarch] "This is so important."
"Me": [in my head] Nothing's important.

How do the rest of you deal with the absurdity of your fellow "man"?

I pretend it's not there. Skim past it. Some people I get angry about, but mostly skim to the ones that outnumber that.

I have a friend who was a #NeverTrump hack who is now all of a sudden fully on board and near the front at the inauguration of course. Naturally, she will now worship him for the rest of her life. All of our liberal mutual friends gave those photos 100+ likes, and said "Oh, even though this is Trump, this is amazing! So much respect for you!" which I guess is better than the contrary. I'm not quite sure how you can show any degree of support for a cause you find to be so detestable you need to riot or whatever, most especially the one in your question. But praising their "bravery" is the other way to go - a sick way that I don't recommend.

[Sprouts Farmers Market ✘]

Welcome to the dark side, DavidB. Where is your precious Flawless Beautiful Marco now?!

[Sprouts Farmers Market ✘]

Woke up today sick. Thought I'd go to the gym by 8:30, didn't happen; thought I'd go by 11, didn't happen.

Such is one of the reasons why I've decided i should probably cut out my major source of carbs and calories, which will not be easy given my lifestyle.

We know about the bike. You don't have to pretend it doesn't exist anymore. If you want to exercise, don't let us get in your way.

[Sprouts Farmers Market ✘]

indeed, God bless Hillary for marrying a President and staying with that creep for political gain even though he was a terrible person. All in a life's work.

[Sprouts Farmers Market ✘]

How many of you procrastinate about mundane things like getting a haircut? I've been putting one off for quite a while now, and I'm not proud of myself.

I purposefully put off stuff like haircuts only during winter just because hat hair. I tend to run my errands asap so I don't have to worry about them. Set deadlines for yourself.

I also don't trust barbers due to one bad experience. I always feel like I'm playing the lottery when I go to get my hair cut.

I must have gone to about nine or ten haircutters until I found one who actually knew what she was doing, and it has been a fantastic relationship. I understand how tough it is, so you absolutely must find someone acceptable - shop around as often as you can if you must! Unfortunately, I had to get one in Philadelphia too because my good one is quite far away. I seem to have gotten a decently acceptable option here, but it seems to be more of an 'emergency-only' basis (and literally for the three times the cost, which is a bit absurd, but their other services are priced quite reasonably, which is why I selected it).

[Sprouts Farmers Market ✘]

^Ben Garrison is adding yarmulkes now?? That's a little more dogwhistling than I am willing to overlook

[Sprouts Farmers Market ✘]

If you want to be pure, rid yourself of the filth and remove the presence of the evildoer immediately. You can find better.

[Sprouts Farmers Market ✘]

My (now ex-)girlfriend and I broke up today. 2 year relationship ended because she decided to outright ignore me for 2 days and spend today posting pics of another guy on Snapchat sleeping over, them drinking milkshakes together with hearts, and him shirtless making pizzas, while not bothering to read my messages or message me back.

That sucks, man. Does she have a car? I would go Carrie Underwood on that sh**t.

What is wrong with you?

He has to stand up for himself.

This is what a feminist looks like y'all!

[Sprouts Farmers Market ✘]

"Feminist" does not mean taking the woman's side in everything sheesh, some people really buy into the worst stereotypes

It means protecting women from violence not encouraging it...

e: and sorry to hear about this entire incident / distract from it, Jacobin

[Sprouts Farmers Market ✘]

Someone stole my Trump/Pence bumper sticker.

I hope you press charges and may they have their record tarnished for life (once they are safe enough to reintegrate into society). So gross.