Roger Dreckman's Atlasian Daily Dispatch
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Author Topic: Roger Dreckman's Atlasian Daily Dispatch  (Read 833 times)
LLR
LongLiveRock
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« on: February 15, 2017, 10:02:25 PM »
« edited: February 15, 2017, 10:04:00 PM by Senator LLR »

February 15th, 2017 - SEATTLE, WASHINGTON

Damned cowards at the Atlasian Free Press fired me for being drunk on the job or something. Oh, please. I've written columns while on acid before. Whatever. I'll just start my own publication. Serves them right.

And of course it's election season! Everyone's trotting around the country talking about healthcare. The two main candidates are moderate losers who I can't vote for - NeverAgain and dfwlibertylover. Maxwell, a third party Communist, might get my vote because his veep Smilo is a sweet man. Probably wind up sleeping in and saying "Fyck it" like last time. Although I've said nice things about NeverAgain's vice president SouthernGothic before, he's barely shown up on the trail so that's of little use. What a shame that elections are always like this.

Oh yeah, and sh**t happens downballot too. Two of the three Senate races already happened, and the last one's unopposed. Northern Governor is a shoo-in for Mike Wells - now there's a guy I'd vote for. He should run for president. That leaves the House which is always bullsh**t. 11 candidates for 9 seats? What is this, North Korea? No use voting for that. And there's some talk about moving to a parliament... Whatever, man. If it passes bills, it works, and let me tell you, we certainly ain't passing any bills around here now.

I've said enough - elections are a waste of time with boring candidates like these. Better make use of the liberal marijuana laws around these parts. That's what I call a good night!

Note: The character of Roger Dreckman is not affiliated with LongLiveRock and does not hold his beliefs.
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They put it to a vote and they just kept lying
20RP12
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« Reply #1 on: February 15, 2017, 11:57:19 PM »

Now THIS is cutting edge journalism.
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Lachi
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« Reply #2 on: February 16, 2017, 04:55:40 PM »

What does Dreckman think of the issues bought up in the Northern Assembly campaigns?
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Maxwell
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« Reply #3 on: February 16, 2017, 07:08:13 PM »

Dreckman is an ordinary Atlasian who speaks for the people!
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LLR
LongLiveRock
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« Reply #4 on: February 16, 2017, 07:29:17 PM »

Dreckman is an ordinary Atlasian who speaks for the people!

Didn't know every Atlasian was a stoner but that's cool I guess

What does Dreckman think of the issues bought up in the Northern Assembly campaigns?

Roger only covers real elections Wink
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LLR
LongLiveRock
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« Reply #5 on: February 17, 2017, 05:57:20 PM »

February 17th, 2017 - NYMAN

Just cast my ballot. Didn't vote for any of the snakes - wrote in Jesus, with Southern Gothic at VP. One thing that scares me the most is that sh**tturd Kingpoleon has a shot in the North. Hasn't deserved a single vote he's got, and especially over that saint Mike Wells.

I was gonna vote for Maxwell, but I heard about his past as a libertarian and I decided I was better off not supporting someone who once sucked up to the big banks. Flip-floppers in general, man... That's what NeverAgain is I know. Ya can't tell what the man thinks.

At least Fremont is a parliamentary system now - I say that oughta be fun. This mid-election reporting is boring as fyck since the results are basically meaningless. As long as we don't wind up electing a literal 12-year-old to the house, in the form of lwp2004 or 1184AZ... That always ends badly. The damn House is so screwed up nowadays, anyway...


Note: The character of Roger Dreckman is not affiliated with LongLiveRock and does not hold his beliefs.
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LLR
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« Reply #6 on: February 20, 2017, 09:48:38 AM »

February 20th, 2017 - DAYTON, OHIO

The results are in, and the slightly more conservative snake won! An unapologetic Harambeist was elected to the Senate, and the House looks like some government from hell. God bless our Republic because the voters certainly ain't. Is there silver lining? Well, NeverAgain lost and the United Alternative have no representation anywhere any more. But besides that, it's kind of going to sh**t. April couldn't come sooner. At least I've got my semi-legal weed...
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rpryor03
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« Reply #7 on: February 20, 2017, 11:02:09 AM »

the United Alternative have no representation anywhere any more.

This is false. I have been elected on the UA/Free Soil ticket to the Fremont House of Commons. We're not dead.
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Terry the Fat Shark
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« Reply #8 on: February 20, 2017, 11:06:04 AM »

also the UA holds the speaker of the south position and once I take my oath UA member diptheriadan will become Governor of the South Tongue
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LLR
LongLiveRock
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« Reply #9 on: February 20, 2017, 11:11:21 AM »

also the UA holds the speaker of the south position and once I take my oath UA member diptheriadan will become Governor of the South Tongue

"Well fyck 'em all to hell, then" - Roger Dreckman (not talking about this, but it works)
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Southern Senator North Carolina Yankee
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« Reply #10 on: February 20, 2017, 11:16:33 AM »

the United Alternative have no representation anywhere any more.

This is false. I have been elected on the UA/Free Soil ticket to the Fremont House of Commons. We're not dead.

This brings back memories.

Good Times!
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LLR
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« Reply #11 on: February 21, 2017, 02:55:30 PM »

February 2017 Class I Senate Election - Map



Light red: Labor-Hammurabi Freedom (Peebs)
Darker red: Labor (R2D2, 1184AZ)
Light orange: Federalist-SLC (PiT)
Darker orange: Federalist (ClarkKent)
Green: Independent (Dereich)
Dark green: Independent-Ecosocialist (Siren)
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White Trash
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« Reply #12 on: February 21, 2017, 03:08:37 PM »

I'm really glad this is back.
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Enduro
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« Reply #13 on: February 21, 2017, 03:16:21 PM »


Same.
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President of the civil service full of trans activists
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« Reply #14 on: February 21, 2017, 03:36:20 PM »

"Nuke Wyoming," the man shouts as he wins Wyoming. Tongue
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Clyde1998
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« Reply #15 on: February 21, 2017, 04:42:10 PM »

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LLR
LongLiveRock
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« Reply #16 on: February 24, 2017, 04:43:01 PM »

February 24, 2017 - DAYTON, OHIO

Everyone's favorite time on Capitol Hill - the lame duck period! Literally nothin's going on in either chamber,  and we've got a whole week til officials swear in. The extensive lame duck period has got to be one of the worse things about our current government, but the Senate doesn't even have that excuse. I mean even people like LLR and Leinad who have nothing better to do aren't doing sh**t. I won't support either for PPT (not like I can vote), but I don't see a problem with Leinad's leadership. It's a shame the liberal majority will vote against him, but oh well. They're all snakes anyway.

But in our glorious regions, it's worse. Santander's runnin' for office down south, and he's not the worst they've had recently. Spark498, dangerously incompetent, is in office up north, and fremont's trying out a parliament for some reason - led by Harry S Truman (S for snake).

Oh, god, there's terrible feuds everywhere too. Adam Griffin vs. President-elect DFW! NeverAgain vs. Windjammer! Can't they see they're all backwards? They should at least work together on their backwards, snake-y ways so we don't have to deal with their bitching!

God fyck the two-party system.
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Unconditional Surrender Truman
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« Reply #17 on: February 24, 2017, 04:46:46 PM »

fremont's trying out a parliament for some reason - led by Harry S Truman (S for snake).
Outrageous! Everyone knows my middle initial stands for "Satan" (or is it "Second-worst Senator?" I forget).
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Southern Senator North Carolina Yankee
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« Reply #18 on: February 25, 2017, 08:28:21 AM »

fremont's trying out a parliament for some reason - led by Harry S Truman (S for snake).
Outrageous! Everyone knows my middle initial stands for "Satan" (or is it "Second-worst Senator?" I forget).

Pretty sure it is second worst Senator. I think I gave you the position in 2015 or something.
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LLR
LongLiveRock
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« Reply #19 on: March 08, 2017, 04:43:05 PM »

March 8, 2017 - MIAMI, FLORIDA

And thank god. PiT was given PPT. Now there's an honorable man. Other than that, the week's been uneventful. The loser-snake, NeverAgain is running for governor against the vastly superior DiptheriaDan in the South, and both sides have terrible Chamber slates.

Dfw hasn't done anything terrible yet, and there's no GM at the moment, so God knows what's happening in the world. Life goes on as it does, and we all do our jobs. It would help to know about our nation, but I'm content to just see Nyman shuffle about, fixing pet issues and breaking down for weeks at a time. I trust Yankee and PiT to whip people into shape, though. They'd better!

Note: Roger's opinions are not at all related to those of Senator LLR. However, you may tout his endorsement - he doesn't give 'em very often! Tongue
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LLR
LongLiveRock
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« Reply #20 on: March 19, 2017, 08:20:47 AM »

March 19, 2017 - ASPEN, COLORADO

Ugh. Just had to catch a midnight train to go from Lyin' Libertarian Ted Bullsh**t's office in California to that corrupt snake LLR's office in Colorado. Apparently it's heating up - I know I don't want either of them near my government.

To add to this abomination, the fyckers in Labor have won control of the Southern government. They've got control on the regions right as they lose the federal government. Life is funny, man. Well, not my life. I haven't slept in 48 fycking hours because of these month-early campaigns (seriously, what the fyck is that about?) I gotta catch another plane back to Nyman in a few hours. Ugh. This job isn't what I wanted.

At least government's working alright - except our President keeps signing BS executive orders... Glad I didn't vote for him.
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