Heaven has 'extreme vetting'? When Republicans legislate from the Bible

[JA]

https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2017/feb/22/heaven-extreme-vetting-republicans-legislate-from-the-bible

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[7,052,770]

Heaven has none of those things. Hell is a non-biblical myth.

[🐒Gods of Prosperity🔱🐲💸]

Darwinian evolution also has extreme vetting.  Sorry little fish, can't migrate out of the sea until your phenotype can prove you have the right series of mutations. And it's a long waiting list. Millions of years.  You go extinct first, not our problem.

[Sprouts Farmers Market ✘]

Totally false. If they truly believe that, then they should be doing everything the opposite to pass that extreme vetting process cuz they ain't getting in like this

[ApatheticAustrian]

if heaven has extreme vetting, no one would get into.

[Okay, maybe Mike Johnson is a competent parliamentarian.]

This is a really tortured point.

[Lexii, harbinger of chaos and sexual anarchy]

Maybe Pence is a closeted JW?

[The_Doctor]

By Heaven's own standards, as I understand it, dead Syrian refugee children are way ahead of some of the CPAC crowd in the list of people who get past the gates. That's Biblically verifiable.

I guess I can get behind that kind of divine vetting for these so called evangelicals. Some of them might not, unless they like warm climates.

[pbrower2a]

Joke:

A young black man named Leroy, a elderly Jewish woman named Sarah, and a Klansman have died and find themselves before Saint Peter at the Pearly Gates. They find a sign that says "WHITE  CHRISTIANS ONLY". The young black man, who has just been shot to death because a cop confused the wrench in his pocket with a pistol, complains

"That's just unfair. After all the oppression and abuse that we black people have experienced, we get that".

Saint Peter tells Leroy to step into the booth to the right, which he does. Then Saint Peter tells him, "Tug on the string, and look in the mirror". Leroy so does, and the shade rolls up, revealing a mirror. Leroy is then astonished to see a white man's image in the mirror. His new image. Leroy then responds, "What happened to me!"

Saint Peter then said, "Yes, that really is you, and that is how we solve the problem of bigotry.  Go on ahead; you are no longer barred from anything due to race. You will get to meet Martin Luther King, but like you he is now a white guy. " 

Sarah then protested, "But I have lived a good Jewish life as a loyal wife and mother. I participated in the Civil Rights struggle, which should count for something. My family -- even our dogs -- kept kosher. My husband and I ran an honest business. And I'm not going to Heaven? "

Saint Peter then told Sarah, "In the Name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit, you are now a Christian. Go on through. Anne Frank has a book signing for you to attend".

Sarah then emotes "Jesus and Mary!", an expression that she would have never made while alive.

Then comes the Klansman who has been blown up by bombs that he had made for an NAACP chapter and a Jewish community center. He notices the sign and figures it out as best as he can because he is barely literate.

"WHITE CHRISTIANS ONLY!" he reads. "Well, Saint Peter, I guess I won't have to go where you sent that n---- and that k---."

"No, you won't go where they went", said Saint Peter, who then pulled a lever that opened a trap door. The Klansman quickly found himself with fire, burning sulfur and pitch, and an overwhelming smell of a sewer, among the Nazis, Stalinists, and other such demons.   

[Attorney General, LGC Speaker, and Former PPT Dwarven Dragon]

Darwinian evolution also has extreme vetting.  Sorry little fish, can't migrate out of the sea until your phenotype can prove you have the right series of mutations. And it's a long waiting list. Millions of years.  You go extinct first, not our problem.

[Bismarck]

Darwinian evolution also has extreme vetting.  Sorry little fish, can't migrate out of the sea until your phenotype can prove you have the right series of mutations. And it's a long waiting list. Millions of years.  You go extinct first, not our problem.

I'm praying for a future of secular conservatism.

[Chunk Yogurt for President!]

Darwinian evolution also has extreme vetting.  Sorry little fish, can't migrate out of the sea until your phenotype can prove you have the right series of mutations. And it's a long waiting list. Millions of years.  You go extinct first, not our problem.

I'm praying for a future of secular conservatism.

Secular conservatism is sort of what we have right now.  Replace Christianity with nationalism and that is what the European and American right is.

[Zioneer]

Theologically speaking, this is a terrible, terrible concept.

Unless you're Calvinist, I guess.

[Enduro]

if heaven has extreme vetting, no one would get into.

Exactly. Jesus died so Heaven didn't need extreme vetting.

[The world will shine with light in our nightmare]

Trump is the most anti-Jesus person to serve as president, so of course these yee-haws have to bend their theology in any way possible to justify the things he does.

[Attorney General, LGC Speaker, and Former PPT Dwarven Dragon]

Theologically speaking, this is a terrible, terrible concept.

Unless you're Calvinist, I guess.

Calvinist people make up around half of all Christians, FTR.

[Lexii, harbinger of chaos and sexual anarchy]

Theologically speaking, this is a terrible, terrible concept.

Unless you're Calvinist, I guess.

Calvinist people make up around half of all Christians, FTR.

I think that only applies to the Netherlands. Protestants are barely a third of the global Christian population

[Badger]

if heaven has extreme vetting, no one would get into.

Exactly. Jesus died so Heaven didn't need extreme vetting.

[RI]

Theologically speaking, this is a terrible, terrible concept.

Unless you're Calvinist, I guess.

Calvinist people make up around half of all Christians, FTR.

[Kingpoleon]

Theologically speaking, this is a terrible, terrible concept.

Unless you're Calvinist, I guess.

Calvinist people make up around half of all Christians, FTR.

Not. By. Any. Means.

[IceAgeComing]

The CoS is Calvinist (well, Presbyterian) and a majority of Scottish Christians identify as CoS (although not a majority of Scots in the last census); so that's... two countries?

Catholicism leads overall; and since the vast majority of that is the official Catholic Church they win no matter how you look; while Protestantism is a lot more divided between different types and between nations as well

[angus]

Heaven has none of those things.

apparently it does.  This is from the gospel according to Saint Matthew, chapter 19:  "it is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the kingdom of God."  I'd call that vetting anyway, and extreme.  Matthew also mentions a gate (chapter 7).  I'm not sure about a wall.  I'm no biblical scholar but it took less than 30 seconds and a search engine to find those bits of lexicon from the bible.

Also, it isn't unusual for political parties to use religious ideas to promote their agendas.  Not only Democrats and Republicans in the USA, but parties all over the world have done so for a very long time.

This is exactly the sort of thing I'd expect from the CPAC.  The logic is a bit flawed, but as a soundbite it's pretty clever in my opinion.  This conference is basically a pep rally.  The people there might not be biblical scholars, but they have some vague idea about the mythological plane of existence known as heaven, and they probably understand it as having a metaphorical or metaphysical gate, and that there's some process of vetting (probably that word usually isn't used in such a context, but it's as good as any).  My guess is that the line will go over well with that crowd.

[ApatheticAustrian]

i am not a real catholic, even while i appreciate catholicism in general, cause i am quiiiiiiiiiite sceptical about churches as instititutions but i have to say, the rise of the new non-religious right made my muuuuuuuch more sympathetic to the religious one.

that means...in europe. only in the US i have been able to find the non-compassionate religious right......makes one even more doubtful about classical antisemite and ottoman traitor luther.

[Blue3]

Theologically speaking, this is a terrible, terrible concept.

Unless you're Calvinist, I guess.

Calvinist people make up around half of all Christians, FTR.

No, they are a small minority. Like maybe 3% of Christians worldwide at the highest, probably less.

[Blue3]

Guys, he's talking about in the US, and he's including Baptists as Calvinists even though that's not really true.

The USA isn't the world. And Baptists aren't Calvinists.

But even with that, it's still far less than half.