Pence Won’t Have Dinner With A Woman Who Isn’t His Wife

[ApatheticAustrian]

everyone to his or her own taste/couple's business.

i don't judge pence or anyone else as long as i am not judged.

[Citizen (The) Doctor]

Whatever they want to do in their relationship, as long as they're both okay with it.

[100% pro-life no matter what]

Come on, y'all!  This isn't about Pence not being able to control himself, but about him not wanting to lead on another woman into thinking they were on a date.  This is a total non-story, and it's sad that this got two pages (when I haven't seen anything here about his tiebreaker vote today).

[The Dowager Mod]

It's super creepy is what it is.

[Lincoln Republican]

It's super creepy is what it is.

Yes, a man stepping out on his wife is super creepy.

[DavidB.]

I just had some drinks in the city with a longtime female friend who is engaged to a male friend of mine. Would be pretty sad and unnecessary if I couldn't hang out with her anymore after her marriage without her soon-to-be husband being there too. I'd say that if you don't trust each other you shouldn't marry in the first place.

[100% pro-life no matter what]

I just had some drinks in the city with a longtime female friend who is engaged to a male friend of mine. Would be pretty sad and unnecessary if I couldn't hang out with her anymore after her marriage without her soon-to-be husband being there too. I'd say that if you don't trust each other you shouldn't marry in the first place.

I don't personally think the blanket rule that Pence has is necessary, but it's not my place to judge what works for them.  But, there is something to be said for getting lunch or dinner with someone of the opposite sex (in a social context) at least conveying the question of "is this a date" unless you are both clear otherwise.  It's better to just be clear about these things so no one is misled.

[Lief 🗽]

Mike Pence does not see women as humans equal to men. That was obvious before this came out; even more obvious now.

[The Dowager Mod]

LOL! Simply being alone with a woman is "stepping out".

[courts]

I'm not gonna lie...as liberal as I may be, if my fiance was at the bar having drinks with other men...I would dump her quickly

well that's a bit different than what most people were thinking

[JA]

I just had some drinks in the city with a longtime female friend who is engaged to a male friend of mine. Would be pretty sad and unnecessary if I couldn't hang out with her anymore after her marriage without her soon-to-be husband being there too. I'd say that if you don't trust each other you shouldn't marry in the first place.

I'm not gonna lie...as liberal as I may be, if my fiance was at the bar having drinks with other men...I would dump her quickly

Why? People of the opposite sex can be friends. What would you do if your partner was bisexual? Would they never be allowed out without you accompanying them?

[100% pro-life no matter what]

I just had some drinks in the city with a longtime female friend who is engaged to a male friend of mine. Would be pretty sad and unnecessary if I couldn't hang out with her anymore after her marriage without her soon-to-be husband being there too. I'd say that if you don't trust each other you shouldn't marry in the first place.

I'm not gonna lie...as liberal as I may be, if my fiance was at the bar having drinks with other men...I would dump her quickly

Why? People of the opposite sex can be friends. What would you do if your partner was bisexual? Would they never be allowed out without you accompanying them?

People of the opposite sex can be friends even if not in a relationship, but there are certain realities about male-female interaction that makes it impossible to become close friends with a woman and not subconsciously want it to turn into a relationship.  I'm single, so I am fully free to have close friendships with girls, but when I am in a relationship, I will absolutely set boundaries to make sure that she and I are on the same page and that I don't develop any level of romantic feelings for another girl (I tend to fall for girls very fast (sometimes even over a 30 minute conversation), so this is an actual concern for me, although it is alleviated when I actually get to the point of deep feelings for someone, which I haven't really felt in a couple years).  And, yes, I view it as wrong to even kiss before you are in a long-term serious relationship.

I don't know if I would say "no eating" (and I have eaten alone with women in relationships with other men), but I certainly don't think I would get dinner multiple times a week with a girl who wasn't my girlfriend if I had one.  Slightly different exact systems work for every couple, but there are basic principles that should be followed here.  And, frankly, I'm stunned at how surprising this is to some. 

According to David French, Nate Cohn said that this is one of the most revealing and surprising culture gaps he has seen in recent memory.
http://www.nationalreview.com/article/446283/mike-pence-marriage-rules-controversy-exposes-dived-over-human-nature

[Alaska2392]

Is this normal in other parts of the county?

If your relationship with your partner is so shaky that having dinner with another female could potentially bring it down, something needs to be examined.

[mvd10]

so if he became President he wouldn't meet Theresa May alone? What a kook.

Yeah, I don't really care about whether or not Pence wants to dine with other women, but this would be really awkward if he meets May or Merkel alone. But his first Lieutenant Governor and some of Indiana's statewide elected officials during his tenure were women, so I suppose it isn't a huge problem.

[100% pro-life no matter what]

Is this normal in other parts of the county?

If your relationship with your partner is so shaky that having dinner with another female could potentially bring it down, something needs to be examined.

Everyone I have seen on my Facebook feed about it is talking about it positively.  You don't have to make the exact same rule (re: eating, especially since there is a difference between getting a snack and having a four-course dinner), but the principle is very sound.  I think it's a culture war thing that we never really thought about.  It would feel like cheating to me to spend an entire day hanging out with a girl other than my girlfriend if I had one because some sort of light crush would inevitably form, and that's wrong, but unavoidable if you spend too much time together.  That's not to say that you can't have friends of the opposite sex, as long as there are reasonable boundaries.

[True Federalist (진정한 연방 주의자)]

I just had some drinks in the city with a longtime female friend who is engaged to a male friend of mine. Would be pretty sad and unnecessary if I couldn't hang out with her anymore after her marriage without her soon-to-be husband being there too. I'd say that if you don't trust each other you shouldn't marry in the first place.

Pence has been a politician a long time now.  If for no other reason, not letting himself get into a situation some political rival would misconstrue for political advantage, it makes sense for him or any other politician to be careful of whom they are privately alone with.  Of course, publicly alone such someone like Merkel or May, as they wouldn't actually be alone if they had a one-on-one meeting, is another thing.

so if he became President he wouldn't meet Theresa May alone? What a kook.

Yeah, I don't really care about whether or not Pence wants to dine with other women, but this would be really awkward if he meets May or Merkel alone. But his first Lieutenant Governor and some of Indiana's statewide elected officials during his tenure were women, so I suppose it isn't a huge problem.
[/quote]


Do you really think they'd be alone?  I doubt either would be doing the cooking, and there would be the guards of both within earshot.

[Badger]

Downright ridiculous

This. Bordering on childish.

[Klartext89]

You're honestly debating such things? Your country must be totally fine and without problems then...

[Middle-aged Europe]

Interestingly, I remember being "part" of a similar situation once.

I'm friends with a woman who was once in a relationship with a guy where I definitely got the vibe that he had a problem that with her going out with me alone. He never said something outright to me, but there were little things here and there.

But she definitely isn't the kind of woman who would be willing to submit herself to any kind of Pence-like rules here, especially since I had been friends with her before she even met that guy. And that relationship only lasted a couple of months anyway. Not sure whether him not wanting her to go out with other guys was a factor in the eventual break-up (since there were also other issues). If it was the case I have to say that this guy seemed to suffer from a couple of insecurities. Especially since were was never something going between her and me before, during, or after.

[Mercenary]

Wow respect to Pence. Other than his horrible political positioms he seems like a good guy. I think that is quiye the admirable thing to do. Shows a deep level of commiymeny and devotion. Seriously if you see sexism in this you must see it in everything. Now I domt think such a position is absolutely necessary but it certainly is not a bad idea, especially considering the amount of infidelity there is and how often alcohol can lead to it.

[MASHED POTATOES. VOTE!]

A married man should not be having dinner with another woman, unless that other woman is his sister, daughter, mother, or grand mother, you get the picture.

...

It's obvious Winfield never had any female friends in his entire life.

[DC Al Fine]

A married man should not be having dinner with another woman, unless that other woman is his sister, daughter, mother, or grand mother, you get the picture.

...

It's obvious Winfield never had any female friends in his entire life.

And it's obvious most of this forum haven't been married

This whole line of thought is a bit confusing. Forget about Evangelical rules of thumb for a second. Who are all these married people going out for one on one dinners with the opposite sex? I'm married and I barely have time for group events, much less one on ones with my female friends.

[Shadows]

The comments are hilarious! Do people not have close female friends here or would the relationship have to turn into something sexual everytime? I can't believe someone would stop having dinner with a female friend just because they are committed! It is only a lunch/dinner, a normal event where you eat food & talk - It's not like you eat naked or eat each other!  Women are not sexual creatures .

It is difficult to have close female friends by that ideology. I am not commenting on Pence, he has his own set of weirdo rules but some of the justifications here are weird - "I can't control myself & fall for a girl every hour" or "You will develop a sexual attraction with a girl if you have lunch/dinner". If you become sexually attracted to someone after having a lunch/dinner even when you are committed, that is just flat out cringeworthy !

[Middle-aged Europe]

I wonder if they had sex:





(Perhaps not, there was a photographer present. )

[DC Al Fine]

The comments are hilarious! Do people not have close female friends here or would the relationship have to turn into something sexual everytime? I can't believe someone would stop having dinner with a female friend just because they are committed! It is only a lunch/dinner, a normal event where you eat food & talk - It's not like you eat naked or eat each other!  Women are not sexual creatures .

It is difficult to have close female friends by that ideology. I am not commenting on Pence, he has his own set of weirdo rules but some of the justifications here are weird - "I can't control myself & fall for a girl every hour" or "You will develop a sexual attraction with a girl if you have lunch/dinner". If you become sexually attracted to someone after having a lunch/dinner even when you are committed, that is just flat out cringeworthy !

Damn you wrecked that strawman. Perhaps you could the actual position next time?