Ask the old dudes anything

[dead0man]

We've got a lot of young lads here and a handful of old dudes, perhaps a thread for asking the old dudes for advice about things?  Torie, Grumps, Muon, me.....others?  I'm not an expert at anything like the other guys are, but I know a little about a lot and we've all got many decades of experience dealing with bosses and subordinates, girls and boys, friends and enemies, generally successful adulting, the DMV, whatever life throws at people, I'd imagine one of us have dealt with it or something like it (or can at least point you in the right direction).

Ask us anything.



or this is a dumb idea, I don't know.

[Dr. Arch]

Actually a great idea! I'm definitely coming back here when I have questions about adulting.

[Torie]

Bump. I have had this habit from time to time of offering unsolicited advice. So offering advice in the context of someone soliciting it, will be a change for me.

[The world will shine with light in our nightmare]

Nah, I like this actually.  Nice idea, dead0.

So I actually have been curious about something for many years and it's only compounded my stress lately.  I've mentioned before here that I am on extended leave from college where I was working on my theology degree.  My life has been a total trainwreck since my dad died almost four years ago and now my mom and I are victims of constant stalking and theft.  I'm not exactly thinking straight right now so I'm probably getting off subject, but here's what my dilemma is.

Basically, I don't know what to expect after college.  Where to go, what to do for work.  Where to live.  The only thing I'm certain of about my future right now is that I would like to live in a very remote area when I'm independent.  Maybe somewhere in Montana or central Oregon or Vermont (or any state where dope is legal really), and become a recluse there.  My problem is I don't know if I'll be able to find a job that's relevant to my study and accommodates for my mental and physical disabilities.*  (My mom even suggested I might not be able to work someday and have to go on disability, but I'm trying very hard to avoid that route out of pride.)  I would be most content living out in a cottage or medium-sized cabin somewhere without having all the fancy cars and latest smart phones and other crap, so I just need a job that pays the bills as well as my student loans.

*I should mention here that I'm also looking strongly at non-profit or volunteer work, possibly in Americorps (if it still exists) or even the Peace Corps if my health ever improves.

I guess I'm just interested to know what it was like for the olds here when you were at this stage in your lives.  How did you know to plan for the future, if you did at all?  Did you have an idea of what your future would be as college sophomores and juniors?  And what advice would you have for me so that I can live the life I want to have?

[America Needs R'hllor]

If your son/daughter were to tell you that he/she is gay, would you prefer being told along with your wife? Separately? Would you feel offended if he/she were to tell this to his/her mother first before telling you?

[Torie]

Ah, I think the best way to comment on this one, is to tell the tale of the three brothers, myself and my younger and older brother, and of my Dad. We all traveled down very different paths, which in the end all turned out well. I will try to complete something by tonight. In the end, it is a balancing test between passion (and how to generate it) and practicality. I had the clearest path, as a very hard wired,  competitive and passionate kind of guy, who happened to be most interested in fields that also happened to be very remunerative. It was not so easy for the other 3 males in my family. Oh, I might toss in my aunt too. She had quite a wild ride herself, with mixed results when it came to her own happiness.

[muon2]

Like Torie, my scientific career path was clear from my earliest grade school years. Not so for my siblings. The lessons I learned from them is that if one doesn't have a career path, be attentive to opportunities. Older friends or more distant relatives may be doing something that works for you, too. My brother got into the trades that way without college. If some acquaintance offers something take it, even if it doesn't sound great. The experience will have value when you move on. The money you earn can also create a buffer should you decide to relocate without a job in hand.

[FairBol]

We've got a lot of young lads here and a handful of old dudes, perhaps a thread for asking the old dudes for advice about things?  Torie, Grumps, Muon, me.....others?  I'm not an expert at anything like the other guys are, but I know a little about a lot and we've all got many decades of experience dealing with bosses and subordinates, girls and boys, friends and enemies, generally successful adulting, the DMV, whatever life throws at people, I'd imagine one of us have dealt with it or something like it (or can at least point you in the right direction).

Good idea! :: is an "old dude" (35) :: 

[FairBol]

You must be logged in to read this quote.

Let me tell you a bit about my experience.  I started thinking about future plans immediately after graduating from high school (in 2000).  I had previously enrolled at my local community college, so I took some courses there.  Upon completion of those programs, I decided that I needed a change of pace.  As such, I soon moved to South Florida, living near West Palm Beach (and Fort Lauderdale for a short time). 

At this time, I wasn't sure what I would do, or where my life would take me.  However, I knew that I had a passion for broadcast communications, and for public speaking as well.  Therefore, I decided to enroll at the local branch of the Connecticut School of Broadcasting.  I learned about the world of broadcasting there, and got my feet on solid ground.  I would subsequently take courses at Broward College in Davie. 

To answer the meat of your question, my future wasn't totally planned out when I was younger.  I had to spend a lot of time considering my options, and thinking about where I wanted to go in life.  However, once I made a decision about this, I "took the ball and ran with it". 

I guess my advice would be to decide what your passion is in life.  Everyone has something that they really get into, be it politics, sports, or something else.  You need to find what that passion is, and then relentlessly pursue it.  Don't worry if you're not the best yet at doing whatever it is that's associated with that passion.  Instead, work on your craft, and learn from others.  If you do this, then in time, excellence will come.  Follow your dreams, and never ever give up.  That's my advice....good luck!

[FairBol]

Heh.  I feel like I just wrote a commencement speech.  LOL. 

[Santander]

Good idea! :: is an "old dude" (35) :: 

I don't respect anyone under 45.

[NeverAgain]

Could you give an anecdotal example of saving for or experiencing the Social Security and Medicare system.

[Rjjr77]

Nah, I like this actually.  Nice idea, dead0.

So I actually have been curious about something for many years and it's only compounded my stress lately.  I've mentioned before here that I am on extended leave from college where I was working on my theology degree.  My life has been a total trainwreck since my dad died almost four years ago and now my mom and I are victims of constant stalking and theft.  I'm not exactly thinking straight right now so I'm probably getting off subject, but here's what my dilemma is.

Basically, I don't know what to expect after college.  Where to go, what to do for work.  Where to live.  The only thing I'm certain of about my future right now is that I would like to live in a very remote area when I'm independent.  Maybe somewhere in Montana or central Oregon or Vermont (or any state where dope is legal really), and become a recluse there.  My problem is I don't know if I'll be able to find a job that's relevant to my study and accommodates for my mental and physical disabilities.*  (My mom even suggested I might not be able to work someday and have to go on disability, but I'm trying very hard to avoid that route out of pride.)  I would be most content living out in a cottage or medium-sized cabin somewhere without having all the fancy cars and latest smart phones and other crap, so I just need a job that pays the bills as well as my student loans.

*I should mention here that I'm also looking strongly at non-profit or volunteer work, possibly in Americorps (if it still exists) or even the Peace Corps if my health ever improves.

I guess I'm just interested to know what it was like for the olds here when you were at this stage in your lives.  How did you know to plan for the future, if you did at all?  Did you have an idea of what your future would be as college sophomores and juniors?  And what advice would you have for me so that I can live the life I want to have?

I no longer work in the field I went to school for, and I had four majors before graduating college

[MASHED POTATOES. VOTE!]

How did it feel to be alive in time for Woodrow Wilson's second inauguration?

[Grumpier Than Uncle Joe]

How did it feel to be alive in time for Woodrow Wilson's second inauguration?

Torie will get back to you on that.  He's been around since the rocks cooled, you see.

[The Dowager Mod]

No old Broads huh.

[MASHED POTATOES. VOTE!]

How did it feel to be alive in time for Woodrow Wilson's second inauguration?

Torie will get back to you on that.  He's been around since the rocks cooled, you see.

So he's younger than we thought.

[Grumpier Than Uncle Joe]

No old Broads huh.

RIP dead0man. 

[dead0man]

No old Broads huh.

I didn't know you were an old, my bad.  Of course an old lady's perspective is valuable here, probably more so.

[The Dowager Mod]

I'm 43, And I was just messing with you.

[Barnes]

How did it feel to be alive in time for Woodrow Wilson's second inauguration?

Torie will get back to you on that.  He's been around since the rocks cooled, you see.

So he's younger than we thought.

The Universe used to be so small and hot...

[Grumpier Than Uncle Joe]

I'm 43, And I was just messing with you.

43 is ancient, Granny Tex.

[The Dowager Mod]

I'm 43, And I was just messing with you.

43 is ancient, Granny Tex.

Get off my lawn punk.

[MASHED POTATOES. VOTE!]

I'm 43, And I was just messing with you.

43 is ancient, Granny Tex.

Outside of Atlas? No. For the Atlas Standards even 20 is ancient.

[Grumpier Than Uncle Joe]

I'm 43, And I was just messing with you.

43 is ancient, Granny Tex.

Get off my lawn punk.

You in 10 years