Opinion of people having children when they are past middle age?

[Virginiá]

Outside of adoption, this is less applicable to women as their ability to have children begins to rapidly decline after age 35. However, men can still have children at an old age with younger partners. This question also applies to adopting at an older age, but minus #2 below. My issues with this:

1. Having a child at such an older age effectively deprives the child of having one or more parent around when they grow up. If a 50 year old man has a child, by the time that child graduates college, the father will be around 72, with not much time left on the clock. Compare to parents in their mid 20s when they have that child - they will be somewhere in their mid-late 40s when that child graduates High School, and thus can actually be there for their child as they grow, and participate in ways that a very old person (70+) can't. It is unfair to do this to a child imo.

2. Children born to older parents are a higher risk of being born with defects. For instance:

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Edit: Not saying people must have a kid in their 20s - in their 30s is also fine.

[Antonio the Sixth]

I don't think we should pass a blanket judgment on people who might each have their own reasons and come from situations we don't understand, but yeah, I guess it's usually not a great idea.

[Virginiá]

I don't think we should pass a blanket judgment on people who might each have their own reasons and come from situations we don't understand, but yeah, I guess it's usually not a great idea.

That's true. This is mostly directed at people who make a conscious choice to have a child under these parameters. Accidentally getting pregnant but being strongly pro-life I suppose would be acceptable but it doesn't change the issues at hand.

[NeverAgain]

My parents were significantly older when they had yours truly (Mother at 38, Father at 69), so it is an individual's choice and therefore I hold no judgement on those that wish to start a family at an older age. That being said, I think that the possibility of birth defects and other problems should be a concern, but it has been seen time and time again that children born to older parents are healthier, more intelligent, and are usually more successful (at least in terms of educational attainment and lifetime wealth). This is usually true, due to the fact that older parents are usually wealthier.

Anyways, speaking as an anecdote, I was born without any birth defects (other than being annoying to folks, at times), so I would say that there may be a mediocre correlation between age and child health, but I think that it should not be the defining factor in having children.

[angus]

I have no problem with old men and women having children.  Those I have known have been generally good parents.  Also, there are distinct economic and social advantages that the child will enjoy if you wait till you're older when you have children.  Moreover, the argument about a child born to young parents having parents when he's in his 20s doesn't really hold.  For example, by the time I was in my second year of grad school I was an orphan even though my parents were only 27 and 30 when I was born.  One cannot predict the year of one's death.  Waiting until later in life to have children also eases the global population burden.  At least if everyone does it.  

It is not a certainty that children born to older parents are less healthy in general.  You point out an in increase in the likelihood certain chromosomal disorders in children born to older mothers, but these problems are not encountered by most women in this age range (1 in 100 is very small!)  The CDC also has reported that older mothers are 40 percent less likely to have babies with major congenital malformations.  

Recently the Max Planck Institute studied 1.5 million Swedish men and women born between 1960 and 1991. They found that people born to mothers over the age of 30, including mothers as old as 45, were taller and healthier, had more education, were more likely to attend college, and performed better on standardized tests than children born to mothers younger than 30.

There are many, many other benefits as well:  the marriages of older parents tend to be more stable, older parents of babies often are more experienced with children than younger ones, older parents are relaxed, appreciative, and communicate in a mature manner with their children, etc.

I think you will have a hard time convincing me that the advantages to the child of having young parents outweigh the disadvantages.  

[Virginiá]

It is not a certainty that children born to older parents are less healthy in general.  You point out an in increase in the likelihood certain chromosomal disorders in children born to older mothers, but these problems are not encountered by most women in this age range (1 in 100 is very small!)  The CDC also has reported that older mothers are 40 percent less likely to have babies with major congenital malformations.  

I only meant to point out a risk - not definitively or anything. My main focus was the possibility of not having one or even both parents around later in life. Admittedly my opinion here is biased for personal reasons.

[Sprouts Farmers Market ✘]

You can't possibly expect people to be equipped and secure enough to have children in their 20s, right? Surely, that is far more worthy of judgement.

[Person Man]

My grandparents were 40, 41, 45, 47.

I think the window for healthy child bearing may shift a few years if medical technology continues to improve and if neoliberalism continues to neccesitates it.

[Okay, maybe Mike Johnson is a competent parliamentarian.]

I generally think that it's best to have kids on the young side if possible and that it's appalling that prevailing economic and cultural standards have rendered this such a non-starter for most of the middle class, but I don't see any problem with having them in your thirties or very early forties if that's the trajectory your life takes. Any older than that gets, yeah, kind of eyebrow-raising.

[Beet]

It's very hard to have a kid young in today's economic and cultural situation. Unlike most countries, we don't have paid family leave, child care is super expensive, and Americans are obsessed with nuclear families where the extended family isn't around to help out. So once a couple has kids it's very hard for them, their lives are completely consumed. No wonder a lot of young people delay. I don't see a problem with it, given the context of the realities we face. If the economic/cultural conditions were different, then different choices would make more sense.

[Person Man]

It's very hard to have a kid young in today's economic and cultural situation. Unlike most countries, we don't have paid family leave, child care is super expensive, and Americans are obsessed with nuclear families where the extended family isn't around to help out. So once a couple has kids it's very hard for them, their lives are completely consumed. No wonder a lot of young people delay. I don't see a problem with it, given the context of the realities we face. If the economic/cultural conditions were different, then different choices would make more sense.

This.

[Virginiá]

You can't possibly expect people to be equipped and secure enough to have children in their 20s, right? Surely, that is far more worthy of judgement.

Probably not. In their 30s would also be fine, though. It was more regarding parent(s) nearing 50 or more. I strongly dislike the idea of a child entering adulthood just as one or more of their parents are just about out the door, so to speak.

[Leinad]

I don't think we should pass a blanket judgment on people who might each have their own reasons and come from situations we don't understand, but yeah, I guess it's usually not a great idea.

^This, more or less.

My brother was born with his parents (also mine) both over 35 and has behavioral issues. My uncle was born with his parents under 20 and went on to have his own radio station. The conclusion? I am good at cherry-picking.

[Blair]

My Mum was 46 when she had me, and my was 41. Besides be being 12 weeks early because of problems my Mum had it was fine; if anything it was better as they both had more stable careers by then (after losing their jobs at the IELA)

[America Needs R'hllor]

I don't think we should pass a blanket judgment on people who might each have their own reasons and come from situations we don't understand, but yeah, I guess it's usually not a great idea.

Agreed.

[DC Al Fine]

It's very hard to have a kid young in today's economic and cultural situation. Unlike most countries, we don't have paid family leave, child care is super expensive, and Americans are obsessed with nuclear families where the extended family isn't around to help out. So once a couple has kids it's very hard for them, their lives are completely consumed. No wonder a lot of young people delay. I don't see a problem with it, given the context of the realities we face. If the economic/cultural conditions were different, then different choices would make more sense.

This reasoning sounds correct at first glance, but the data does not back it up. The United States is notoriously bad at providing support for young mothers, but their birth rate is on the upper end of the western world. If anything, I would surmise that America has a relatively pro-natal culture given it's complete lack of financial support and it's birth rate surpassing Canada, Sweden etc.

[DC Al Fine]

I don't think we should pass a blanket judgment on people who might each have their own reasons and come from situations we don't understand, but yeah, I guess it's usually not a great idea.

This.

I spent yesterday looking after my niece (4) and nephew (1). It was tiring and I'm only 23. If you're in your forties and want to do that, more power to you, but I can't imagine chasing after toddlers at that age.

[🐒Gods of Prosperity🔱🐲💸]

There are disadvantages, but also can have the advantage of a parent having a more mature and experienced perspective that they bring to raising a child.

[afleitch]

This is a weird thread. If people wait, they wait. I'd rather people have children because they want to. not because of expectation. If 40 is the right time, it's the right time. The idea that it's 'eyebrow raising', well regardless of when and where I have children it's going to be eyebrow raising so I don't care.

[Kingpoleon]

I don't think we should pass a blanket judgment on people who might each have their own reasons and come from situations we don't understand, but yeah, I guess it's usually not a great idea.

That's true. This is mostly directed at people who make a conscious choice to have a child under these parameters. Accidentally getting pregnant but being strongly pro-life I suppose would be acceptable but it doesn't change the issues at hand.

... So being pro-choice makes certain circumstances where you should abort your own child?

[Virginiá]

... So being pro-choice makes certain circumstances where you should abort your own child?

I was trying to say that from my perspective, in a situation such as, say, a really old man (60+) accidentally getting his much younger wife/gf pregnant, I would hope one considers all options knowing the possible health risks and issues with the child actually having parents be there for them as they grow up. It wasn't meant to suggest some sort of "MUST ABORT" view. As I stated before I don't like the idea of a child coming into this world when one or even both parents will likely pass away or be close to it before the child is barely out of college. It just doesn't seem fair to me to deprive the child of one or more parent(s) for basically most of their life.

Of course I don't really butt heads with those who disagree. Having children is tough, especially these days, and things don't always work out perfectly, but suffice to say I do have reservations about much older parent(s).

[NeverAgain]

I don't think we should pass a blanket judgment on people who might each have their own reasons and come from situations we don't understand, but yeah, I guess it's usually not a great idea.

That's true. This is mostly directed at people who make a conscious choice to have a child under these parameters. Accidentally getting pregnant but being strongly pro-life I suppose would be acceptable but it doesn't change the issues at hand.

... So being pro-choice makes certain circumstances where you should abort your own child?

No, I personally believe in child murder all the time. The olds (after 40), shouldn't be having kids, they should be euthanized.

[Goldwater]

I can kind of sympathize with Virginia's point, but the thing is there are a lot of other factors that can lead to the death of a parent besides old age. I mean, the chance is obviously higher the older you are, I guess I'm just saying that the potential for death doesn't seem like a very compelling argument for not having kids to me, since that potential is always going to be there no matter what.

[Person Man]

I don't think we should pass a blanket judgment on people who might each have their own reasons and come from situations we don't understand, but yeah, I guess it's usually not a great idea.

That's true. This is mostly directed at people who make a conscious choice to have a child under these parameters. Accidentally getting pregnant but being strongly pro-life I suppose would be acceptable but it doesn't change the issues at hand.

... So being pro-choice makes certain circumstances where you should abort your own child?

Be quiet, Jimmy.

[Kingpoleon]

I can kind of sympathize with Virginia's point, but the thing is there are a lot of other factors that can lead to the death of a parent besides old age. I mean, the chance is obviously higher the older you are, I guess I'm just saying that the potential for death doesn't seem like a very compelling argument for not having kids to me, since that potential is always going to be there no matter what.

I agree. For example: "People who work in dangerous industries(active military, police, SWAT teams, etc.) shouldn't have kids." Does that not sound stupid? This line of reasoning therefore either lacks, at least to some extent, logical consistency or common sense.