Give a Tender Branson-esque response on the following topic

[I spent the winter writing songs about getting better]

Go.

The Spanish-American War

[Figueira]

Very interesting war. That period of US history kind of reminds me of what Austria would be like under the FPÖ.

Penguins

[I spent the winter writing songs about getting better]

Pretty cool animals. The way they slowly waddle kind of reminds me of how much time it can take for Austrian elections and government formations to actually get done.

The banning of opebo.

[🦀🎂🦀🎂]

The moderator's decision is intriguing in light of the precedent set on Zell Am See local council where just five months ago Klaus Hüberford (SPO) found himself accused of similar sexual offences. He was taken off the list in the upcoming municipal elections and will not be allowed to march in the local parade.


How to bake a cake.

[The Other Castro]

Much like making love to an Austrian woman, you must begin with soft and delicate hands and never forget to use the frosting  

The U.S. presidential election of 1876

[MASHED POTATOES. VOTE!]

Well, in Austria Democrats and Republicans would be in an almost-continious Grand Coalition anyway. The only exception I could think of are Democrats associated with Prohibition Party, the way Wolfgang Schussel governed with FPO but without SPO

Nelson Mandela.

[Grumpier Than Uncle Joe]

We don't have any blacks in Austria so I don't have an opinion on him.

Ivanka Trump

[I spent the winter writing songs about getting better]

Her influence being boosted by the administration is not too unlike the daughter of the ÖVP Governor of Salzburg accused of ethical violations in doing so. Still both are bangable.

Uber vs. Lyft

[Tender Branson]

I rather use my new e-bike to get around here. Uber and Lyft hardly exist here in Austria anyway. Even though I once had a dream driving around with Ivanka Trump in such a fake-taxi ... and for some reason the driver was always looking back in the rearview mirror. Does any1 know what this meant ?

[MASHED POTATOES. VOTE!]

It's pretty much like choosing between ÖVP and SPÖ. They want you to think they're so diffrent, but they're part of the same eternal grand coalition. That's why I'm happy I voted for AvdB, and I was right about Islamofascist Erdogan all the time.

Regular Show.

[NeverAgain]

It's a reflection on the current state of the ÖVP, contending that there is only one Austria. The sad thing is that the Blaxicans will likely pull them to victory as their party is black.

Russian Nesting Dolls

[MASHED POTATOES. VOTE!]

I've always said Erdogan is like a Russian Nesting Doll: very Islamofascist underneath. Although Merkel is very unsound on letting "refugees" abuse free wifi services, she was right to ban these bastards from campaigning in Germany.


S**t BRTD is into.

[MAINEiac4434]

Bernie Sanders reminds me a lot of the former governor of Vienna province in the 1960s, Manuel Humperdorfer (SPÖ). He was famously to the left of his own party and despite his advanced age was quite popular among the youth. The establishment of the SPÖ in Vienna conspired to back Gloria Flugensteiner, the wife of former Governor Wilhelm Flugensteiner, who lost to the FPÖ candidate.

Baseball

[Devout Centrist]

It's a great sport. I went to a couple games here in Austria, but I can't watch it. Too many migrant rapists playing.

The Thirty Year's War