Teenagers between 13-16; how do parents deal with them when they are bad

[MissCatholic]

I have no idea.

From the previous topic on corporal punishment, i had a suggestion that could prevent it but wouldn't work with kids over 13.

So anybody with expeirence or seen how its done, how do you deal with them when they are bad.

I remember a women from Texas who phoned the police as she couldn't control her 14 year old child. The irresponsible police officer replied over the phone 'do you want me to come over and shoot them'.

But single moms and a braindead teen how do you teach them discipline or do the parents leave it to the outside world to sort them out?

[John Dibble]

Well, first off, if you didn't use some sort of proper discipline when your teen was a kid, you're going to have a hard time of it when they are a teen.

As to how to punish a teen, my parents usually would ground me for a week, no tv, no video games.

[MissCatholic]

Well, first off, if you didn't use some sort of proper discipline when your teen was a kid, you're going to have a hard time of it when they are a teen.

As to how to punish a teen, my parents usually would ground me for a week, no tv, no video games.

what about single moms that can be over powered/bullied?

[John Dibble]

Well, first off, if you didn't use some sort of proper discipline when your teen was a kid, you're going to have a hard time of it when they are a teen.

As to how to punish a teen, my parents usually would ground me for a week, no tv, no video games.

what about single moms that can be over powered/bullied?

A real problem - as I said, if you haven't raised your child to be respectful of you at this point it'll be a problem no matter what. The only advice I can get here is to get a strong boyfriend or husband who you can trust.

[ilikeverin]

...?

There's never really any need for me to be punished O_O

[MODU]

Well, first off, if you didn't use some sort of proper discipline when your teen was a kid, you're going to have a hard time of it when they are a teen.

As to how to punish a teen, my parents usually would ground me for a week, no tv, no video games.

Agreed.  Like with anything, you have to build the foundation from which to work off of.  If you did not teach the child respect and responsibility when they were young, it will be harder to do so when they are older.  So, with that being the case, you need to "study" what the teenager is like now to determine what the proper punishment should be (since spanking is a hard thing to do on a teenager).  Like I said in the other thread, and Dibble above, I tell my nephew he's not allowed to use my X-box when he spends the Summer with me.  Unfortunately, he's a kid with great imagination, so he can keep himself occupied for hours when forced to sit idle.  There's only been one time where he's gotten out of hand and I had to truly punish him, so I sent him outside to mow my lawn with the push mower (the lawn is over an acre in size with a lot of slopes and hills).  Now while that might have caused resentment later, he was too tired to express it.  (Which is probably why I was sent outside more than I was to my room as a kid.)

[I spent the winter writing songs about getting better]

My parents never really punished me at that age, they would just yell at me.

[John Dibble]

My parents never really punished me at that age, they would just yell at me.

If done right, a good lecture can be suitable punishment - instills guilt for misbehavior. One time I did something wrong, got a lecture, and willingly grounded myself from videogames for a week.

[Bono]

Denying food?

[Jake]

You take their stuff away. TV, computer, video games, stereo, etc goes in a closet. You then make them go outside and entertain themselves. Works perfectly.

[Richard]

Hit them harder!

Anyways, if your kid is 16 and still don't have discipline in him, you failed as a parent.

[Bono]

Hit them harder!

Anyways, if your kid is 16 and still don't have discipline in him, you failed as a parent.

DOn't you believe that people aren inherently bad?

[Richard]

Hit them harder!

Anyways, if your kid is 16 and still don't have discipline in him, you failed as a parent.

DOn't you believe that people aren inherently bad?

I believe people are inherently bad, yes, but I also believe that with the proper upbringing and discipline it can be controlled to an extent.

[King]

Depends on the family.  My parents never really did anything with me other than yelling.

[MODU]

Hit them harder!

Anyways, if your kid is 16 and still don't have discipline in him, you failed as a parent.

DOn't you believe that people aren inherently bad?

I don't.  I think that everyone can be "saved" from being "bad."  Discipline and Responsibility are the normal characteristics lost in people who have gone bad, yet they can be taught.  It's just a lot harder as the person grows older.

[Bono]

Hit them harder!

Anyways, if your kid is 16 and still don't have discipline in him, you failed as a parent.

DOn't you believe that people aren inherently bad?

I believe people are inherently bad, yes, but I also believe that with the proper upbringing and discipline it can be controlled to an extent.

I believe there is an old saying that goes "What the craddle gives, only the grave takes."
If the person doesn't have the will to dominate her will, I don't think otehrs can do it for him. Hold it back, sure, but without proper self-conrol, the pressure may be too hard.

[AkSaber]

...?

There's never really any need for me to be punished O_O

Lol. Same here.

[dazzleman]

I think parents have to have established some level of discipline before their kids reach the teenage years.  If the kid is out of control at 10, you'll never be able to discipline him/her at 15.

The reality is that parents have very little control, but they have to make the kids think they do.  Discipline cannot be based only on punishment.  There has to be an underlying positive relationship between parent and child for discipline to be effective.  Without that, kids can render the parents powerless to enforce discipline, and all the beatings in the world can't fix it.

Within the context of a positive relationship, the best thing parents can do is take away privileges when their teenager does something wrong.  Grounding, denial of television, stereo and telephone privileges, etc. work pretty well, and hit them where it hurts.  I'd be less inclined to hit at that age, but may do so under extreme circumstances.

Kids have to know that you love them, but that there will be negative consequences for misbehavior.  Punishment that is too weak is counterproductive because it gives the kid the satisfaction of overcoming it, and encourages more misbehavior.  Whatever you do, it has to hurt.

[MonkeyPooo4U]

At a yound age you have to teach the child to respect you.  If your child respects your authority and understands that you only have thier best interest in mind it makes dicipline much easier.
It is also important to establish a loving relationship.  If you have established a reciprocative loving relationship with your children they will respect and obey you.
If a teenage child would consider overpowering or bullying their parent as a way of circumventing discipline, then love and respect was probably not established at a young age.
And if all else fails parents should still have the power of the purse, and be able to deprive a teen as mentioned in previous posts.  However, reducing familial affection to monetary rewards isn't the best idea.  The love thing works better.  Establish that at an early age so your kid wants to respect your rules.