The only way I see this thread ending:
I think this ends with Spark dead in retromike's basement
Wasn't there someone (Tik IIRC) who pretended to be a girl at one point and got weird PMs from several male posters here. I feel like that was a thing that happened a while back.
Edit: Found it:
BREAKING NEWS FROM IRC PRECINCTS*:
*Honest transcript with some unrelated content in between omitted but for legal purposes the statements are solely opinions/viewpoints of those who expressed them and should not be considered as absolute factual statements