Have you actually read the Bible?

[12th Doctor]

One Gospel, the Book of Matthew. A great many of it I didn't understand, so I've put it off.

Although some of the "stories" -- I mean, compact verses that describe one particular instance in Jewish history, not the (incredibly rude) KEmperor/opebo slur -- are interesting unto themselves. E.g. The degenerate and apostatic priest Balaam and his Talking Ass, which was absolutely unlike the Children's Bible version.

That's odd, because, no offense, but Matthew is acctually probably the easiest of the four gospels to understand.  You should try reading John.

[Bugs]

I have read it several times and am in the process of translating my own version.

That is wrong 100% wrong.. God made the Bible who are you to make a version? No one....

The value in doing this is in what is learned thrugh the process rather than the finished product.  It is a thorough method of study.  My kids might be interested in having a copy of the final product, but beyond that it will be relatively valuless as a translation like the NIV or NAS,etc.  It should be done about 2015.

[KEmperor]

I have read it several times and am in the process of translating my own version.

That is wrong 100% wrong.. God made the Bible who are you to make a version? No one....

The stuff that comes out of your mouth sometimes....

The version that you've probably read?  It's a translation.  See people didn't speak modern English back thousands of years ago.  They didn't even speak English at all.  Hell, all the stuff in the bible didn't even take place in an English speaking country!  So unless you are fluent in both Ancient Greek and Hebrew, you are being a total hypocrite.

[WMS]

I have read it several times and am in the process of translating my own version.

That is wrong 100% wrong.. God made the Bible who are you to make a version? No one....

The stuff that comes out of your mouth sometimes....

The version that you've probably read?  It's a translation.  See people didn't speak modern English back thousands of years ago.  They didn't even speak English at all.  Hell, all the stuff in the bible didn't even take place in an English speaking country!  So unless you are fluent in both Ancient Greek and Hebrew, you are being a total hypocrite.

And Aramaic. Can't forget that.

[Gabu]

And Aramaic. Can't forget that.

Actually, while they did speak that, you wouldn't need it to read the original Bible, because none of the original Bible was written in Aramaic.

[Storebought]

One Gospel, the Book of Matthew. A great many of it I didn't understand, so I've put it off.

Although some of the "stories" -- I mean, compact verses that describe one particular instance in Jewish history, not the (incredibly rude) KEmperor/opebo slur -- are interesting unto themselves. E.g. The degenerate and apostatic priest Balaam and his Talking Ass, which was absolutely unlike the Children's Bible version.

That's odd, because, no offense, but Matthew is acctually probably the easiest of the four gospels to understand.  You should try reading John.

I don't mean "misunderstand" in the simple, "badly translated vulgar Greek metaphor" sense that proliferates in the Gospel According to John.

If I had a copy of the Bible with me, I would quote some of the passages that I found a bit mystifying, but, honestly, I've decided to put the Bible away for now and concentrate on things that are more rational to me, like math.

At least in misinterpreting the epsilon-delta definition of the limit, I won't condemn my soul to hell fire.

[WMS]

And Aramaic. Can't forget that.

Actually, while they did speak that, you wouldn't need it to read the original Bible, because none of the original Bible was written in Aramaic.

The More You Know.

[Gabu]

And Aramaic. Can't forget that.

Actually, while they did speak that, you wouldn't need it to read the original Bible, because none of the original Bible was written in Aramaic.

The More You Know.

You would need it to be able to watch Jesus getting pwned without subtitles in Mel Gibson's movie, however.

[WMS]

And Aramaic. Can't forget that.

Actually, while they did speak that, you wouldn't need it to read the original Bible, because none of the original Bible was written in Aramaic.

The More You Know.

You would need it to be able to watch Jesus getting pwned without subtitles in Mel Gibson's movie, however.

So I've heard. No, I haven't seen The Passion of the Christ, so I couldn't comment firsthand...

[Frodo]

Only the Children's Bible, which was the first and coolest Bible I ever read -the illustrations helped me remember it. 

[Oswald Acted Alone, You Kook]

WHY DID YOU BUMP THIS! IT'S OLDER THAN RON PAUL!

[Joe Biden 2020]

All of it, more than once.  I still learn something new everytime I go through it.

[Antonio the Sixth]

I know more or less what it says, but no, I've almost read nothing of it.

[Grumpier Than Thou]

I've read too much of it. (Non-Christian)

[The Mikado]

Epic bump.  I'm not sure whether to report you or not, Frodo.

Anyway, I hate to respond to six-year-old posts, but:

And Aramaic. Can't forget that.

Actually, while they did speak that, you wouldn't need it to read the original Bible, because none of the original Bible was written in Aramaic.

Big chunks of Ezra and Daniel are in Aramaic.

Anyway, the answer to the question is "yes," though I skimmed most of the Psalms.

[Joe Republic]

Six years after creating this thread, my answer is still no.

[FEMA Camp Administrator]

I've read Revelations, and pieces of Genesis and Matthew. That was a while ago, though, when I still had grandiose visions of me being one of the few to "conquer" (as in read through) the Bible.

[Wisconsin+17]

One of the few? Seriously.

Read through the entire thing.

[Middle-aged Europe]

I'm waiting for the movie.

(Option 10)

[The Mikado]

I'm waiting for the movie.

(Option 10)

The Bible, Part 30: Nehemiah and the Wall of Jerusalem.

The Bible, Part 22:  More Chronicles.  You Can Probably Skip This One

The Bible, Part 67: Even More Psalms

The Bible, Part 69: The Song of Songs

[Filuwaúrdjan]

The critics loved the postmodernist thriller that was Revelations - Allegory of Imperial Oppression but the audiences were less keen.

[The Mikado]

The critics loved the postmodernist thriller that was Revelations - Allegory of Imperial Oppression but the audiences were less keen.

"The shot where the number "666" evolved into the words "NERO CAESAR" and from there into "BARACK OBAMA" baffled and offended many viewers, but the portrayal of the Whore of Babylon as the Roman Goddess of Victory transforming into Lady Liberty led to a near-walkout."

[True Federalist (진정한 연방 주의자)]

I'm waiting for the movie.

(Option 10)

Go rent the 1966 film The Bible: In the Beginning.  It was intended as the first in a series of films that would cover the entire Old Testament, but they never filmed the sequels.

[MyRescueKittehRocks]

All of it multiple times (different translations)
At the moment I'm floating between Luke, John and the Song of Solomon

[TJ in Oregon]

Only parts of it.

A couple years ago I decided that considering how much time I spend educating myself on all sorts of other stuff from chemical engineering (my major) to politics to professional sports (diehard Cleveland fan) to collegiate-level distance running, I knew/know embarassingly little about the Catholic faith I allegedly believe.

Since then I've put a lot more time into learning about religion and have read a decent amount. But sitting down and reading the entire Bible is a very tall order. I've managed to get myself to read the Gospels and right now I'm very slowly getting through various epistles. But the Old Testament will probably take me years. Maybe I'll have read the whole thing by the time I die.