2014-2028: The Just Beginning Golden Age

[100% pro-life no matter what]

Ron Reagan: 263
President Bill Haslam: 266

FRIDAY, NOVEMBER 10, 2028:

The recount that will determine the presidential election has begun in Alabama.  Ron Reagan leads President Bill Haslam by a mere nine votes in the state, with all precincts reporting.  It is worth noting that demographic trends in other similar states suggest that Reagan should have won Alabama by a few percentage points, but his stand on the Iron Bowl during a fiery final-weekend rally seemed to hurt him more with Auburn fans than it helped him with Alabama fans.  Precinct analysis shows that Reagan likely carried Alabama fans, the majority in the state, by about seven percentage points.  But, he lost Auburn fans by 15, creating this virtual tie that decides everything.

Of course, if the Yellowhammer State could vote today, it would almost certainly vote overwhelmingly for Haslam, following Reagan's shocking admissions and arrest at his speech on Tuesday night.  In fact, FOX News has just conducted a post-election preference poll of Alabama and the US:

Alabama: Haslam 78, Castro 13, Reagan 8
USA: Haslam 67, Castro 20, Reagan 11

Of course, Castro dropped out weeks ago, endorsing President Haslam for re-election.  Since Election Day, he has issued a statement in which he called Ron Reagan a "con-man" and "anti-American".  The large Republican majorities in both houses of Congress have already announced intention to impeach both Ron Reagan and Cecile Richards, should they prevail in Alabama.  However, there is massive speculation that Reagan would try to declare martial law, preventing any impeachment from being successful.

Somewhere deep inside a bunker under Huntsville, Alabama, the Governor and the Secretary of State of Alabama hold a top-secret meeting:

**Governor Jones and Secretary Smith are both purely fictional characters (both are Republicans)**

Governor Jones: Secretary Smith, you need to do something.  Ron Reagan lied to this country, and we can't have him turn us into a d**n liberal s***hole.

Secretary Smith: With all due respect, Governor, what do you expect me to do?  Do you want me to add some extra votes for the Haslam/Rubio ticket?  We would both be committing felony election fraud.  Is that worth it just to get our candidate elected president?  Anyway, Congress has the numbers to instantly impeach Reagan and Richards, and Paul Ryan will become president.  He has even said that he would keep Vice President Rubio on board.  Isn't this a better option?

Governor Jones: No it isn't.  Ron Reagan will abolish the 2nd Amendment and come around and take all of our guns.  So, nobody will be able to stand up to him when he becomes a dictator!  That cuckservative Paul Ryan will never be able to stand up to the liberals.  And, remember, if the media gets a little taste of Commie-stan, they will forget everything that we have done over the last twelve years.  The commie media will protect Comrade Reagan.

Secretary Smith: I'm not doing it, Jones.  Fire me if you want, but you are going to go to jail over this, and I'm not going down with you.  I actually think President Haslam might win the recount.  He has actually gained 12 votes from re-canvassing Southeast Alabama (note: that is Auburn country) and has already taken the lead.  But, if he does not win this, I will not be changing the results, and we will have President Ryan, who will do a great job!  And, if you try to cause a fuss, I will report you to the police.

Governor Jones: There is no proof of this.  It's my word against your's, you f***in' sellout traitor!

Secretary Smith: So you think, Governor.  So you think!

[100% pro-life no matter what]

THURSDAY, NOVEMBER 30, 2028 Press Conference in Montgomery, AL:

Ladies and gentlemen, we now go live to Alabama, where Secretary of State Matthew Smith, we think, will be announcing the results of the recount in the state.  As you all now by now, whoever wins Alabama wins the election.

---Thank you all for your patience in ensuring that we get this right.  American democracy is only legitimate if the people believe it to be.  And, we needed to determine with certainty which candidate carried Alabama in the presidential election some 23 days ago.  After re-canvassing every last precinct in the state, from downtown Birmingham to Mobile, from Tuscaloosa to Auburn [audible laughter in the background, given the heavy focus that was placed on Reagan's perceived slight of Auburn], from the Black Belt to Shelby County, from the statehouse here in Montgomery to the countryside some 20 minutes away, we know with certainty that Ron Reagan and Cecile Richards have carried the State of Alabama by a margin of 38 votes.  This is tough for me to say, as I publicly supported President Haslam's bid for reelection, but we have to allow the new government to form.

I sincerely hope that his comments during his speech on Election Night were in the heat of the moment and not reflective of how he will lead the country for the next four years.  My faith in American values endures, and, despite my possible disagreements with the president-elect, we have to honestly conduct our elections.  Now, I tell you, my fellow Americans, that there were some in the state government who pressured me to rig this recount, to ensure that President Haslam would win reelection.  This includes a major public figure in this state who publicly endorsed Ron Reagan during his campaign of deception [this is in reference to Governor Mark Jones].  When I informed our state government of the recount results last night, some people tried to stop me from doing my job of conducting fair and open elections here in the great State of Alabama.  But, that isn't my duty to you.  My duty to the American people is to respect the will of the voters, and Ron Reagan is the winner of Alabama, and our nine members of the Electoral College will be pledged to him when it meets next month.

Thank you, God bless you, and God bless America!!

15 minutes later on Twitter:

@GovMarkJonesAL:

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UP NEXT: Reaction from President-elect Reagan and Governor Jones's next move

[Devout Centrist]

Golden age my ass

[100% pro-life no matter what]

Sorry for the delay- let's finally get to the end of this:

NOVEMBER 30, 2028- SAN JOSE, CALIFORNIA
President-Elect Reagan makes a statement following winning the Alabama recount

Who's the liar now?  The right-wing wackos said that they would prevail in the recount- but we won by even more!  This country is ready to embrace socialism and diverse identities.  President Haslam has failed America, except if you are an oppressor- a white, straight, wealthy male in the Christian Taliban.  While some of the comments I made on Election Night came from a place of extreme emotional duress, all of my points stand.  Now, I have no plans of banning Christianity entirely, as there are sensible Christians- like the Unitarians, Episcopalians, and the United Church of Christ- that are perfectly compatible with a modern progressive outlook.  But, there is no place in America for hate speech and bigotry, and that is all Evangelical and Catholic churches are.  We will fully crack down on their hateful comments and imprison any pastors who refuse to treat all with respect.  The bigots should enjoy their last month and a half of power because they will not be tolerated come January 20th.

It's also important to remember that President Haslam, Vice President Rubio, and Former President Walker are all prophets of bigotry.  To show that this country will not tolerate such terroristic ideologies, I will instruct my law enforcement personnel to have them- and all other Republican public figures- arrested and held in prison.  Hate speech is not free speech, and it's time that this country come to see that.

I look forward to beginning to finally turn this country around- from an oppressor to a liberator.  Since Christopher Columbus stole this land from the Native Americans, Mexicans, Canadians, and Caribbean residents, the quote-on-quote United States of America have simply found vulnerable identities to oppress.  That finally will end in 51 days, when, to partially borrow a phrase from a leading bigot, 2016 Re-poop-lican primary contender Donald Trump, we will make America great for the first time!

[100% pro-life no matter what]

I've let this go so long and don't have the energy to properly finish it, but don't want to leave it hanging any longer, so let me give the Cliff Notes of the rest of the story (and I will answer any questions if something isn't clear):

-Alabama electors (plus numerous others in conservative areas) go faithless and reelect President Haslam
-Some more liberal areas of the country that thought they were going to have a liberal president see a regeneration of left-wing enthusiasm
-This takes a couple years, but left-wingers storm into power in left-wing areas of the country in the 2030 midterms, but Republicans maintain control of Congress
-On January 20, 2031, 14 years to the day after the inauguration of Scott Walker, California declares its independence
-Fearing the left returning to power and wanting to secure votes, the United States government agrees to allow California to secede
-Oregon, Washington, and Hawaii also secede by the spring of 2031 and create a Pacific nation.  Eastern Oregon and Washington subsequently secede from their states and are admitted as one state (called Cascadia) in the USA.
-Maine, New Hampshire, Vermont, Massachusetts, Rhode Island, Connecticut, New York, New Jersey, Delaware, and Maryland form the Republic of the Atlantic, which gains its independence on July 4, 2032.  Washington DC was going to join, but Congress was able to block it.  Pennsylvania and Virginia both schedule referenda on secession to coincide with the election.
-Illinois wishes to secede, but it elects not to due to not wanting to be an island in the middle of a nation.
-Two parties develop in the new USA:
Republican Party: Paul Ryan on economics, Mike Huckabee on social issues, George W. Bush on foreign policy
America First Party: Protectionist, anti-immigration, isolationist on foreign policy,
 center to center-right on social and economic issues

The Republican ticket of Marco Rubio/Ben Shapiro (now a resident of Arizona) defeats the America First ticket of Ann Coulter/Donald Trump Jr. (living in Florida) in the presidential election of 2032 with the following map:

(DC votes for some token left-wing candidate that nearly wins Illinois as well and hands the state to Coulter).
-Pennsylvania and Virginia both vote against secession.
-Wanting to be united, the powers of the two new nations (in New York, Los Angeles, and San Francisco) enter talks with Canada about unifying their three nations.  In 2034, they unify the nations as the Progressive American Republic of Canada.
-In its first election, the PARC elects Ron Reagan as its prime minister.
-Alberta, Saskatchewan, and Manitoba are admitted to the United States as the 38th, 39th, and 40th states.
-The two nations agree to a free trade agreement and a five-year period of open borders to allow citizens to select their preferred country.
-Ultimately, partisan politics become just as divisive as before within the two countries, but they more resemble intra-partisan divides of today than the Republican-Democratic one.