Predict how the previous forumite will die

[N.i.K.]

Revanchist Germany.

[JSojourner]

As the final moderate in the Republican Party, once Jodi Rell, Torie and Bullmoose have become Democrats (or, Communists)...NiK will write a book called, "Will the last moderate to leave the room turn out the lights?"

And he will.

Only to be electrocuted by a lightswitch ineptly installed by non-union, underpaid and unregulated electricians...

[Torie]

JS will be stabbed to death by a crazed fundamentalist woman with 19 kids speaking in tongues to whom the Lord informed her was the anti-Christ stakeholder for Ft Wayne, and must be eliminated ASAP before his poisonous ideas dupe and infect other sincere followers of Christ into agreeing with  his depraved toleration and of the damned (eg gays, Democrats, liberals, secular humanists, one worlders,  birth controllers, feminists, vegans, civil rights agitators, and satanic emo music listeners,  and belief that such presumptive pieces of human excrement are not automatically consigned to eternal hell without passing go.   

[dialectical fetishist]

Defenestration.

[Platypus]

Fenestration.

[Swedish Cheese]

He chokes when eating grilled platypus tail.

[Proud Lieberal from Northeast]

When someone took his nickname too seriously and consume

[Platypus]

Spotaneous Combustion. It's tough being really, really ridiculously good looking.

[Simfan34]

Dingo attack.

[For Oklahoma]

Jon Huntsman's death.

[Vasall des Midas]

Dehydration due to inability to ask for a glass of water due to posting in an incomprehensible private language.

[Frodo]

Sexual asphyxiation.

[True Federalist]

He doesn't die, but is tormented eternally by Sauron once the dark lord of Mordor regains his ring.

[Vote UKIP!]

He dies after being endorsed by his current governor for president.

[For Oklahoma]

Rick rolls him over with a truck?

[Lief]

Defenestration.

A war breaks out the next day, though the two events are wholly unrelated.

[King]

He's walking down the street and Herman Cain winks at him.

[Proud Lieberal from Northeast]

Mitt Romney fatally shots him with his santorum gun.

[Vote UKIP!]

He gets carried up by a tornado into the mouth of an active volcano.

[Platypus]

He eats too much KFC.

[For Oklahoma]

Platypus attack, naturally.

[King]

His blood will stop circulating, organs will fail, and his brain will gradually yet rapidly shut down with the last moments happening nearest to the stem, at the beautiful gathering of the first and most basic brain cells.  All thoughts and memories wash away; his only vision, that of a simple white and dark light spectrum and his only feelings be of productive cellular hunger.  An eternal second ticks before he falls into darkness.

[For Oklahoma]

His blood will stop circulating, organs will fail, and his brain will gradually yet rapidly shut down with the last moments happening nearest to the stem, at the beautiful gathering of the first and most basic brain cells.  All thoughts and memories wash away; his only vision, that of a simple white and dark light spectrum and his only feelings be of productive cellular hunger.  An eternal second ticks before he falls into darkness.

That's f**king deep man...

[oakvale]

Manhole mishap.

[Odysseus]

Manhole mishap.

Fatal heart attack following Mitt Romney's Acceptance Speech at the RNC.