There's a good chance that John Edwards will be the anti-Hillary in the race and become the nominee.
So I was thinking, who might he choose for veep? And then I thought, what is the most important thing to John Edwards? How good he looks, obviously. To have a very handsome man as his running mate would overshadow him in the looks department, and he couldn't have that. So I doubt he would choose a very handsome man to be his running mate, unless he is gay which is certainly a possibility.
So then I thought, why not Mark Warner? He is ugly enough.
The obvious drawbacks to this ticket is lack of experience, but Mark Warner reinforces the "Southern moderate" image (even though Edwards is no moderate) and the rich Warner adds some sophistication to the ticket.
There is something strange about Warner though: his sudden dropping out of the presidential race. Maybe there is something in his past that he feared would come out, and that would lead him to not accepting the veep spot. Personally I think Warner dropped out because he was not making any headway in the polls. Even after months of campaigning in the primary states, he was only drawing about 3%.
Next there is Evan Bayh. An Edwards/Bayh ticket would be very formidable indeed. Bayh has experience as Governor of Indiana and as a U.S. Senator and might make Indiana competetive, as well as reinforcing the moderate image. Bayh might be a little too good-looking for consideration though. Just look at his huge chin:
Next there is Tom Vilsack. He seems to be another silly populist. He also seems to be a pissed off fellow. Just look at this picture:
Whoa! He is pissed. Republicans better watch their step. While Edwards can give people hope with his sunny optism and dazzling charisma and stunning good looks, Vilsack is allowed to contrast by acting angry and pissed off all the time at George W. Bush and the "culture of corruption". The Kossite crowd will love him because he is angry just like they are.
Actually I am only assuming that Vilsack is an angry man because of this picture. He might be a happy person. If so, he needs to change if he has presidential (or vice presidential) ambition. He could definitely carry Iowa and do well in the midwest, though. He can also talk about adoption and stuff like that, since he is adopted.
Another veep possibility is Joe Biden. With over thirty years in the Senate and as Chairman of the Foreign Relations Committee, he obviously brings in a lot of experience that the other potential running mates don't. Problem is, there's no swing region that he can appeal to. However, his plagiarism charges will come up during the campaign. Personally I think these are way overblown, but then there is the fact that he is always running his mouth. Most of the things he says are quite entertaining, but a bunch of uptight politically correct people won't find it so charming.
Then, there is Wesley Clark. The Kossite crowd love him for some odd reason. There seem to have a fetish for former Republicans turned Democrats who are opposed to the Iraq war. The problem is, Wesley Clark is insane. Not Howard Dean insane: Howard Dean is insane because of the ideology he holds. Wesley Clark is insane because he has no soul. He drifts in and out of consciousness and should probably be confined to a mental institution. He obviously suffers from amnesia or something and has no idea who he is.
Evidence of this is his 2004 campaign. Howard Dean was cruising to victory in the primaries. The moderate, Clinton wing of the party was not happy. So Clark, a close friend of Clinton, was drafted to be the nominee. He was the big thing and instantly became the frontrunner. Then he made a bunch of nonsensical statements and his campaign went up in flames. No one, not even Howard Dean, went down so quickly.
There is no telling what Wesley Clark might do on the campaign trail, and he will be a liability for the Dems. Plus, he does not add much in terms of political experience. Though popular with the Kossites, he would not be a smart choice.
Next is Bill Richardson. A former Congressman, Secretary of Energy, Governor, and Hispanic, Bill Richardson would be an excellent choice. Of course, there is that problem about him lying about being drafted for the Dodgers. Then there is the fact that he loves touching people (not in a bad way). You know, just being friendly. His uptight lieutenant governor, who is a woman, got all pissed at him because he touched her arm, just being friendly-like. It is time to tell all these uptight people who are afraid of being touched to go to hell, and for having the courage to do this, Richardson is a freedom fighter.
Richardson could bring in a large share of the Hispanic vote and is also a likely pick because he is fat, and therefore not as good looking as Edwards.
There's one more veep possibility that deserves honorable mention, Barack Obama. However, I do not think he will be picked. The "Obamamania" will cause Edwards to be overshadowed, and Barack Obama is pretty good-looking (I mean, not ugly like most politicians). If he was chosen, he would be the star of the campaign, not Edwards. After all, Obama has the audacity of hope, and is a streak of light in a dark, miserable world. He has helped millions of Americans to dream again. He coached little league in the blue states and had gay friends in the red states. Et cetera, et cetera, et cetera.
So there you have it. That's my analysis of potential veeps for Edwards. Some of you might disagree, and I would be delighted if I could have intercourse with you on this subject.
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