Chtulu v Flying Spaghetti Monster

[MaC]

maps plz

and John Dibble better not write-in that f****t Cinnabon...

[Bono]

Cthulu would win by eating FSM's voters/FSM itself.
EDIT: Or indeed both.

[Middle-aged Europe]

I assume the FSM is running as a Democrat (since it openly opposes Intelligent Design... at least the christian version of ID) and Cthulu as a Republican (since its... well, evil )?

[John Dibble]

Well, I feel Chtulhu would be a more effective administrator, especially with a strong running mate. My suggestion is Xenu, who may even get the Greens on board with his novel approach to the overpopulation problem.

and John Dibble better not write-in that f****t Cinnabon...

Blasphemer! You will rot in the kitchens, forever making frosting for the enlightened, for your insolence! Besides, everyone knows that the Cinnabon doesn't have sex organs - it's asexual. Unless of course you meant that the Cinnabon is a bundle of sticks, which would be just plain silly.

[MaC]

Cthulu would win by eating FSM's voters/FSM itself.
EDIT: Or indeed both.

yes, but wouldn't Cthulu also eat his own voters?

[John Dibble]

Cthulu would win by eating FSM's voters/FSM itself.
EDIT: Or indeed both.

yes, but wouldn't Cthulu also eat his own voters?

Well, he'll eat everyone regardless of whether he wins or not. However, if you vote for Cthulhu you'll be eaten first, which is far preferable to being eaten last. It's all explained in this Chick Tract. (parody)

[Citizen James]

Chtulu/Xenu (R) 276
FSM/CB (D) 262

The inclusion of Xenu  into the race puts CA and FL into close races, including fanatics who start a third party write in campaign for Elron/Satan.

Though the Italian-American vote turns out heavily for FSM, the turnout is in highly Democratic states anyway, and has little effect on the outcome.

[Bono]

Chtulu/Xenu (R) 276
FSM/CB (D) 262

The inclusion of Xenu  into the race puts CA and FL into close races, including fanatics who start a third party write in campaign for Elron/Satan.

Though the Italian-American vote turns out heavily for FSM, the turnout is in highly Democratic states anyway, and has little effect on the outcome.

Who's CB?

[minionofmidas]

Cthulu would win by eating FSM's voters/FSM itself.
EDIT: Or indeed both.

yes, but wouldn't Cthulu also eat his own voters?

Well, he'll eat everyone regardless of whether he wins or not. However, if you vote for Cthulhu you'll be eaten first, which is far preferable to being eaten last. It's all explained in this Chick Tract. (parody)

But that means all those willing to vote for Cthulhu will be much more likely to be dead by election day, meaning FSM will win easily!

[Joe Republic]

Write-in: Invisible Pink Unicorn

[Citizen James]

Chtulu/Xenu (R) 276
FSM/CB (D) 262

The inclusion of Xenu  into the race puts CA and FL into close races, including fanatics who start a third party write in campaign for Elron/Satan.

Though the Italian-American vote turns out heavily for FSM, the turnout is in highly Democratic states anyway, and has little effect on the outcome.

Who's CB?

The mighty Cinebon!

[MaC]

Write-in: Invisible Pink Unicorn

sry, the country isn't ready for a ghey prez.