What would you expect a movie directed by the following forumites to be like?

[I spent the winter writing songs about getting better]

Straha
opebo
BRTD
Gabu
StatesRights
Mike Naso
DWTL
Richius
Lewis Trondheim
CARLHAYDEN
ag
jfern
Keystone Phil
Flyers
Ebowed
Rob
angus
jmfcst
Robert Stark

[John Dibble]

Straha - given he's pretty much admitted he's a troll, probably something intentionally offensive to the point of being funny, but it might try too hard to be funny so as to fail at it.
opebo - given that directing a movie well requires hard work, dedication, and maybe getting up early in the morning, I don't see it ever being completed. If it was it would be a horrid piece of crap.
BRTD - The soundtrack would be filled with crappy bands that most people have never heard of for good reason. I also expect lots of immature humor, drinking, and crap like that.
Gabu - Would probably be pretty good - probably something in the genre of comedy or action, maybe satire.
StatesRights - I'd expect maybe a civil war movie, perhaps with the main character being a Confederate soldier. Might be pretty good.
Mike Naso - decent, but nothing special
DWTL - can't see him directing a movie at all
Richius - I expect some story about a guy who dodges paying taxes using loopholes.
Lewis Trondheim - Who the f**k cares? It would be a foreign film.
CARLHAYDEN - it would be a documentary about how illegal aliens are destroying the nation
ag - can't really say

[MODU]

Straha - Satire.  Could be funny with decent actors
opebo - Comedy.  Probably a Johnny Knoxville movie.
BRTD - Documentary.  It would be on par with that Taxi Cab confessions series. (Boring)
Gabu - Not sure really.
StatesRights - War.  Probably another "Glory" film.  Should be good.
Mike Naso - We've already seen his movies.
DWTL - Cartoon.  I'm not a big SpongeBob fan.
Richius - Nature.  Probably a film on Canadian lumberjacks.
Lewis Trondheim - Foreign.  I HATE SUBTITLES!
CARLHAYDEN - Action.  Something along the lines of "Last Man Standing."
ag - No clue.

[I spent the winter writing songs about getting better]

BRTD - The soundtrack would be filled with crappy bands that most people have never heard of for good reason. I also expect lots of immature humor, drinking, and crap like that.

Haha, actually fairly close. It would probably be a comedy about some indie rock hipster guy who moves to the city and hooks up with lots of random girls.

Another type of movie I might make would be an action movie about a communist uprising, and of course the communist rebel hero would get plenty of action from hot communist chicks.

[Jake]

Straha - The worst combinations of Super Mario, anime, and f****try.
opebo - I honestly wouldn't expect anything more than a thinly veiled porno.
BRTD - A worship piece about opie.
Gabu - A collection of few minute long shorts that don't connect at all.
StatesRights - The Civil War done right.
Mike Naso - We've seen his crap.
Richius - Preachy documentary.
Lewis Trondheim - A City of God type film. Gratuitous sex, violence, drug use, etc.
CARLHAYDEN - Preachy docu-drama.
ag - I see him more as a History International expert.

[I spent the winter writing songs about getting better]

BRTD - Low-rent pornography starring Opebo.  And only Opebo.

Wrong.

ag would be great at writing historical drama about the Russian Revolution and that sort of thing.

[Alcon]

BRTD - Low-rent pornography starring Opebo.  And only Opebo.

Wrong.

i couldn't have possibly been kidding.  oh no.

you're worse than CARLHAYDEN.

[Ban my account ffs!]

Straha--  I really do not know about Straha.. probably a political thriller involving war.

opebo--  Opebo goes out on a limb and makes a modern-day movie version of Fyodor Gladkov's 1920s communist drama "Cement", highlighting the struggles of the proletariat in a budding socialist state.

BRTD--  Something Grindhouse style.  Basically, a guy visiting a strip bar starts to fall for one of the dancers and she unintentionally pulls him into her crime/drugs ring and he gets into all sorts of trouble with the wrong kind of people.  But it's okay, because at least he doesn't live in the 'burbs, where it could all be so much worse.

Gabu--  (this one is hard).. perhaps a movie that seems hopelessly confusing at the beginning as it switches around to 4 different sub-plots... perhaps showing the lives of 4 different hopelessly lost people that, over a period of several days and through completely random events and connections, meet up with each other and discover that they have all the answers for each other.  One of them definitely has to be a neurotic vegan.

StatesRights--  Something like "A Time to Kill" where the main character gets to be relatively liberal in the south but still gets to bitch out the girl from Massachusetts for not understanding southern culture.

Mike Naso--  A docudrama style film highlighting a hypothetical third Reagan term. 

DWTL--  Probably some political film where a Catholic Republican gets elected as president.. I'm really not sure with DWTL.

Richius--  A propaganda film derogating all non-whites and glorifying apartheid.

Lewis Trondheim-- A drama about a brother and a sister who are reunited with each other when the Berlin Wall falls after having been separated since the brother and the father fled over the wall in the late 1960s.  They are forced to move in together to help care for their elderly mother, and they soon realize that after so many years in completely different societies that they have little in common.  They clash a lot as the sister feels choked by the overbearing way the brother tries to "implement" his western way of life on the family.  Only when the mother dies do they finally work things out.

CARLHAYDEN--  A documentary following the Minutemen with a very in depth look at the controversy and debate surrounding Mexican immigration.

[minionofmidas]

Lewis Trondheim - A City of God type film. Gratuitous sex, violence, drug use, etc.

And entertaining camera use. You forgot that.

You must be logged in to read this quote.

How about no.

[DanielX]

Straha - kind of a cyberpunk, semi-hard sci-fi, with lots of violence and gore.
opebo - pornography, with a thin plot related to how evil capitalism and the US is.
BRTD - Action story about a Rambo-esque communist character who gets laid and kicks the ass of the US-funded capitalist "oppressor". Lots of bad music from unknown indie bands.
Gabu - Some kind of comedy. Might co-direct with Joe Republic.
StatesRights - Confederate Civil War film
Mike Naso - I don't know
DWTL - I don't know either
Richius - A political message film about two gay white men living in Mugabe's Zimbabwe.
Lewis Trondheim - Probably in German. That's all I know.
CARLHAYDEN - dunno
ag - dunno

[DownWithTheLeft]

Straha - coming where strange comic book characters overtake the world
opebo - a movie about not working and being retarded
BRTD - a crappy Independent film with crappy Indy music
Gabu - a good action movie
StatesRights - alternative history starring Mel Gibson as the man who saves the South and then marches on Washington to kill Lincoln
Mike Naso - we know already
DWTL - I would probably make a conservative propaganda film
Richius - a movie showing gays who hate gays
Lewis Trondheim - crappy foreign film
CARLHAYDEN - a movie of him shooting Mexicans
ag - don't know
[/quote]

[Cubby]

Gabu--  (this one is hard).. perhaps a movie that seems hopelessly confusing at the beginning as it switches around to 4 different sub-plots... perhaps showing the lives of 4 different hopelessly lost people that, over a period of several days and through completely random events and connections, meet up with each other and discover that they have all the answers for each other.  One of them definitely has to be a neurotic vegan.

That movie already exists, its called Babel and won some awards recently. 

[Queen Mum Inks.LWC]

Straha-Sci-fi meets historical fiction
opebo-bad porno
BRTD-strip club documentary
Gabu-Comedy
StatesRights-Civil War
Mike Naso-What hasn't he made
DWTL-Something w/ Fred Thompson in it
Richius-Who is this?
Lewis Trondheim-German something
CARLHAYDEN-Minutemen documentary w/ him as the leade
ag-who is this?
[/quote]

[The Man From G.O.P.]

StatesRights - War.  Probably another "Glory" film.  Should be good.

This could be a fatal mistake if States actually sees this.

The only way he'd touch Glory was if he were to make it from the Confederate point of view.

Glory is an entertaining movie, but doesn't cover the real scope and importance of the Civil War people like States or maybe myself would like to portray.

[MODU]

StatesRights - War.  Probably another "Glory" film.  Should be good.

This could be a fatal mistake if States actually sees this.

The only way he'd touch Glory was if he were to make it from the Confederate point of view.

Glory is an entertaining movie, but doesn't cover the real scope and importance of the Civil War people like States or maybe myself would like to portray.

It was the only civil war movie title I could come up with at the moment. 

[Ebowed]

Straha - An educational film about the downside of contracting gonorrhea.
opebo - Wild outhouse movie with a loose storyline involving a man's falling out from societal boundaries and subsequent series of sexual escapades in an effort to find satisfaction.
BRTD - A historical documentary on recent worldwide politicans with a not-so-subtle leftist bent and special focus on alcohol regulations.
Gabu - A Microsoft PowerPoint-created YouTube video on how to spot logical fallacies.  Featuring Zelda soundtrack as background music.
StatesRights - Short film on humane treatment of your slaves.
Mike Naso - Amateur clip shot on a camera phone documenting street brutality of idiots who go to Chinese restaurants and say offensive remarks.
DWTL - Anti-abortion propaganda film depicting rape victims as similar to serial killers.
Richius - Action film depicting a black cop and white cop attempt to overcome racial stereotypes to work together only to find that the cultural differences present too much of an obstacle for anything to get done.  Preachy, though initially subtle and misleading.
Lewis Trondheim - Eccentric protagonist wanders around in an airport for forty five minutes talking to random strangers about a variety of interesting philosophical topics until he flies to Germany to use cocaine legally in the aid of eye surgery.  Contains frequent full frontal nudity for good measure.
CARLHAYDEN - Merely a still photograph of a woman of Hispanic descent sitting on a toilet, with the caption "How illegal immigrants reproduce."

[Undisguised Sockpuppet]

Straha-Sci-fi meets historical fiction

So you mean either alt-hist or SF in a more distant timeframe(as in several centuries in the future), by which timeframe modernity is long dead?

Straha - coming where strange comic book characters overtake the world

That would actually be a kewl movie idea.

Straha - given he's pretty much admitted he's a troll, probably something intentionally offensive to the point of being funny, but it might try too hard to be funny so as to fail at it.

Straha - kind of a cyberpunk, semi-hard sci-fi, with lots of violence and gore.

Also kewl

Straha - Satire.  Could be funny with decent actors

Lol. That would be funny.

Straha--  I really do not know about Straha.. probably a political thriller involving war.

No. Unless by 'political thriller' you mean weird SF.

Straha - The worst combinations of Super Mario, anime, and f****try.

Gee you list those things like they're bad.

[Gabu]

Gabu - A Microsoft PowerPoint-created YouTube video on how to spot logical fallacies.  Featuring Zelda soundtrack as background music.

hella yea

[minionofmidas]

Lewis Trondheim - Eccentric protagonist wanders around in an airport for forty five minutes talking to random strangers about a variety of interesting philosophical topics until he flies to Germany to use cocaine legally in the aid of eye surgery.  Contains frequent full frontal nudity for good measure.

I don't like airports. Otherwise fine.

[??????????]

StatesRights - War.  Probably another "Glory" film.  Should be good.

This could be a fatal mistake if States actually sees this.

The only way he'd touch Glory was if he were to make it from the Confederate point of view.

Glory is an entertaining movie, but doesn't cover the real scope and importance of the Civil War people like States or maybe myself would like to portray.

It was the only civil war movie title I could come up with at the moment. 

Glory, both uniform, equipment wise and historical accuracy was pretty wrong. The white regiments were being slaughtered wholesale at Wagner way before the 54th got involved. And they fail to mention (if I recall) that the Colonels family was only wealthy due to the slave trade. Gotta love irony.

[I spent the winter writing songs about getting better]

Bump. Interesting thread.

Also add:

jfern
Keystone Phil
Flyers
Ebowed
Rob
angus
jmfcst

[MaC]

Straha-much like Snakes on a Plane.  Not really funny, B movie, but has a single killer line.  The day after it premiers nobody acknowleges it's existence
opebo-I'm not a fan of gay porn so I really can't say
BRTD-would be a 'token' charater, drinking and such.  Quite annoying, but he's gone in one scene
Gabu-sequel to Grandma's Boy
StatesRights-much like Red Dawn, only fighting off the north.
Mike Naso-Blair Naso Project/documentary. typical Republicn rally stuff.  Boring.
DWTL-too much camera movement to make sense
Richius-The Power of One, only the opposite happens in the end
Lewis Trondheim-too much German.  I'm sure it'd be a local taste, but not something most Americans would enjoy
CARLHAYDEN-"A Day With A Mexican" would provide interesting balance.
ag-who?

[Tetro Kornbluth]

Straha - A semi-Science fictional tale involving a noble warrior dying of AIDS fighting homosexual trolls from the Seti system.

Opebo - A Documentary about a fat aged fart with bad breath and BO who suffers from a rare condition known as "Wilted Penis disease". Apparently contracted from too much contact with local prostitute.

BRTD - Not 100% sure of the content - obviously featuring lots of random sex, drinking and people with big mobs of black hair cutting themselves cross at not getting a BMW for their 18th birthday. But I think the title speaks for itself "I had so much Sex in my brain I forgot that it is the wrong place to have it".

Gabu - Playing himself, Gabu plots to take over the United States. Only to find that President Gary Coleman and his kittens - now chiefs of staff are determined to stop in his tracks. Featuring a Danny DeVito cameo as a travelling salesmen who sells secret underground lairs to evil scheming villians and people from Ontario.

Mike Naso - A mistaken smash hit about following John McCain's presidential bid, people believed it was a satire. Guest star: Jackie Chan.

StatesRights - War Porn entitled "I Hate Lincoln" - a whole 2 hours of lincoln's photographs as loud violent noises and screams are heard in the background with sometime flashes of renactments of confedrate massarces of union troops. Occasionally subliminal messages show up such as "Lincoln kept Slaves", "Lincoln hated ns" and so on.

Not arsed about the rest...

[Ebowed]

jfern -- Slow-motion footage of the "Bin Laden determined to strike US" memo being placed on Donald Rumsfeld's desk juxtaposed against George Bush resting on his Crawford ranch hammock.

Keystone Phil -- Slow-motion footage of Rick Santorum going to the bathroom.

Flyers -- Slow-motion footage of Keystone Phil watching Rick Santorum go to the bathroom.

Ebowed -- Zombies invade megachurch in the middle of the 11 o'clock sermon on Easter Sunday.  Only the skeptics who were dragged there appreciate the irony.

Rob -- Begins as a mock documentary exposé of a torture camp located on American territory, depicting U.S. military personell committing acts of extreme cruelty.  Suddenly, halfway through, a man in a Bigfoot costume runs into the camp and begins scaring the living daylights of everyone there.  The torture victims are liberated and proceed to blow up the camp, killing Bigfoot and the military honchos.  Bush arrives on scene, blowing the cover of the secret camp, as the torture victims begin staging a communist revolution until Laura Bush abruptly announces that she's baring it all on the next issue of Playboy.

angus -- The completely true story of a bunch of bored high school grads wandering around rural American warehouses in search of Coca-Cola made with sucrose instead of fructose.  Cue a scene with an exploding cow for the hell of it.

jmfcst -- A short education film about how Noah really did fit all of the animals onto the ark (and the termites obeyed God's will not to eat a hole through the ship!).

[SPC]

Straha-Movie about how to make unfunny jokes
Opebo-Porn
BRTD-Movie about internet spamming
Gabu-Boratesque comedy
Mike Naso-Kung fu movie
StatesRights-Civil War movie from the confederate side
DWTL-Tom Tancredo documentary
CARLHAYDEN-Documentary about illegal immigrants
Lewis Trodenheim- German comedy