Pawns of Power: an RPG

[M]

Alright, should I go ahead and post the seven AARs I have and leave Araby, Israel, and the Viceroyalty blank this turn? I'm not turning anyone new up. Al, do you want to submit a full new post or leave a placeholder?

I'm gonna make an advertisement post on my HOI AAR, Red Germany: Darkness over Europe. That has a sizable following, maybe I'll turn SOMEONE up.

[TheWildCard]

This is a great idea M! I only wish I had the time to play. But, with college time quickly coming up I'm lucky that I'll even have time for the fantasy elections at this point.

[M]

Excellent news, folks: ThePrezMex is joining us as the LatAm player. His character will be himself. I am not yet sure whether he will be writing an update for the current turn, due tonight, or whether he will start next turn and we'll do a placeholder. Also want to hear from Al, either way is cool though.

Still need an Araby. If no one shows, I'll do a placeholder but keep hunting for a permanent player. Paradox' Hajji Giray I showed interest in this thing initially right after the spaces filled the first time. I've PMed him, but no response yet.

[Siege40]

I'm interested in filling a spot. I've skimmed through the entire thread. Which State is open. I hope the Caliphate is open...

Siege

[M]

Lucky you, Siege, it's the one available open spot! The official SIS is headed your way via e-mail.

[minionofmidas]

Welcome on board Siege! Have you picked a character?

[M]

StatesRights, the original player, was going to be Abdullah II al-Hashimiyyah, King of Jordan, Rightful Sharif of Mecca, head of the Hashemite Hose, and descendant of the Prophet. You may select any character born in one of the Caliphate's member countries, he need not reside their currently.

[Filuwaúrdjan]

I'm pulling out

At the moment I don't have enough time to do this sort of thing (though I'd like to). Maybe next time.

Anyhoo, this thing could be interesting to read through.

[Siege40]

When attempting to become the sword of Islam its good that your leader be the direct descendant of Mohammad. Abdullah it is.

About the actions of the government, I assume I have to write out every action chronologically, Day 1, Day 2, Day 3 etc. so that we can allign all of our scenarios correct?

Siege

[M]

Siege- if you wish, but it is not required. Some of the reports I already have were written that way; others not.

Al- too bad. We'd of liked your contribution.

I need an Israel, and pronto. I can write one if I have too, but only as a placeholder. Greven, I saw you registered as a user, are you up to the task of the hardest country in the game? Not only are you teency, many if your citizens including national leaders are foreign born and thus beyond your zappage; and, half the world wants you very very dead. If you're up to a fun challenge, this is for you.

[ilikeverin]

Is the deadline still today?

*hopes so*

[M]

Mmm-hmm. Whatever I have is going up in the wee hours of the morning. So far, nothing new. We'll have 6 player updates, two updates I'm writing for the DFRESP and Israel, and two skipped turns. I allso still need a permanent Israel player.

[ilikeverin]

Oh good

[7,052,770]

yay!  I'll be interested to see how mine compares to the others [I didn't really think mine was that good.]

[M]

It'll take a while for me to get these done. Please do not post here until all 10 Reports are up. (3 will be blank).

[M]

This report was written by myself t cover the Despotic Federation, which is now in Gustaf's capable hands. I simply changed my name to Gustaf's and a few other details, so do not expect it to reflect Gustaf, who will write in a completely different style.



From the diary of Gustaf Lundgren
Sweden, Despotic Federated Republics of the English Speaking Peoples.

Day 1: Intro

Gustaf Lundgren, an avid politics follower, was used to keeping up to date with the most boring news from national and international stations. He knew about Senate races in North Dakota and truces in the Cote D'Ivoire, but none of his friends new anything about this stuff. In fact most of his friends were drama types (drama was Reuben's 2nd or 3rd love), and they talked movies. Online he had several acquaintances at Dave Leip's uselectionatlas.com, where he was known as Gustaf Lundgren, but that wasn't really the same thing. Gustaf Lundgren's one great passion was to get involved in the process himself.

When the alien reorganized everything, Gustaf Lundgren was among the best covered. He knew the borders of the new Kingdoms before some world leaders did. However he had nothing to do with it.

Gustaf Lundgren continued to follow the presidential election. When he saw Kerry's presidential address, he wished Kerry would say something about the dangerous nuclear program the Caliphate had inherited from Iran, a major concern if his. Without even quite knowing what he was doing, he projected this thought into Kerry's head. And Kerry said, "If I become Hereditary President, I am willing to go to war to stop the Caliphate from developing a bomb". Gustaf Lundgren was shcoked at what he thought he had done, and zapped (a word Gustaf Lundgren made up) Kerry to say "really, I'm just like Bush except duller, meaner, and less in touch with everyday Despotic Federals like yourselves". Kerry also did not retract this statement. Gustaf Lundgren decided to find out what this could do.


Senator John F. Kerry

Day 2

Before Gustaf Lundgren went to sleep the night before, he zapped three beautiful women to come to his house at 3 PM the next day. He zapped his family to go drive to St. Petersburg and back through Lappland for no apparent reason, leaving him alone. At 3 he checked the door and saw with excitement one of the people had come- the only one born in the Despotic Federation. While Gal Gadot and Natalie Portman had not showed up, there was British Jewish actress Rachel Weisz on his doorstep.


Rachel Weisz, looking cool as can be and also very hot. Is that a paradox?

He opened the door, and decided to lay dumb. "Why are you here?" He asked?

"I'm not quite sure", she responed. "I just felt I had to come here".

"I know you pronounce it Wiesz, like the German, right? Could it just be a wimple Wai-ss? for me?" He was zapping mentally, the talking has no meaning.

"Yes," she said. "Weisz. Weisz." She pronounced it again,

Gustaf Lundgren knew he wanted her, but had no clue what he was doing. He decided just to give her the thought that she was overwhelmed with desire. Rachel let out a deep and passionate moan, wrapped her arms around him, and began to cover him with kisses.


Rachel, overwhelmed with desire

Gustaf Lundgren had not expected the ferocity of the passion. He felt like he was being strangled. "Help!" he called. Ths ket her grab him again by the lips and sink her tongue into his mouth. Gustaf Lundgren had been so terrified he had forgotten his zap. Now he was even scareder, and he rememered it. <Gently>, he zapped her. <Gently, it's my first time, gently>.

"Ohhh", she whispered. It's okay, sweetie, let me show you. Lie here." He lay next to her on the bed.


Rachel teaching Gustaf Lundgren about an important function of his new life, gently.

After the pleasuring, Gustaf Lundgren and Rachel looked at each other tenderly. "darling", Gustaf Lundgren muttered, "I'm about to get involved in politics, as I'd always dreamed of doing. Would you be my personal secretary?"

Rachel moaned out a yes.This time Gustaf Lundgren zapped her to be just a teency bit naughtier.

Day 3

Today Rachel bought me a ticket to Heathrow Ariport, and we went to 10 Downing Street to visit Tony Blair. He met us outside and invited us in, as I had zapped him to.

"So, Gustaf Lundgren, what can I do for you?" The oddness of a movie starlet and a teenage American boy dropping in on him seemed lost on him.


Dropping in on Blair.

"Well, Mr. Blair, I want you to do everything I command". I was zapping simultaneously. "Yes, of course, command away, sir." he said.

"Could you strengthen British positions at Gibraltar and Diego Garcia, greatly?" He responded with an effusive affirmative.

"And when I need you, support me against the Hereditary president. In fact, call upon Bush to resign office and assist you in picking a successor, given he was never elected." The response was a "without fail sir."

"Good," I said, pleased. Then Tony was zapped to stand guard outside his office while Rachel pleased me in a different manner.

Day 7

Now I had asked Rachel to stay in Britain as my secretary for the island, I figured I ought to diversify. My parents had forgotten all about me, sadly. Anyway, with a generous cash contributifrom Blair's private account, I visited Sydney. I was greeted at the airport by Miss Universe 2004, Jennifer Hawkins.


Miss Australia and Miss Universe 2004, Jennifer Hawkins

A crowd was gawking, but I didn't mind. Jennifer treated me to a date at the Sydney Opera House where we got an expensive, elite, private balcony and made love during the show. Many paparazzis had photographed us on the way to the opera, buut let them gawk. It gives me coverage. And she is my gal. Well... my other gal. My secretary for the Australian continent.


My Aus-TRY-lian gal looked ravishing at the opera.

The day was still young, so she sunned herself on the beach while feeding me delicious chocolated imported from the Zollverein's Frankreich province. The camera folks had a field day, but how could I care? I was in love. And it's great publicity.



Jennifer and I visited Pime Minister John Howard in Canberra that evening. Thus part, now, was secret. He, too, pledged to call upon Bush to resign and make a committee with other leaders to find a successor, and also to bolster our troop positions in East Timor and New Guinea.


PM Howard was the less good looking of the Australians initialed JH.

Day 13

I was able to convince my lovely Jennifer that 13 was unlucky only for Christians and Druids, and for Jews is a symbol fo manhood. Of course that got to her, given that she's preparing to convert to Judaism to make me happy.

So 13 became my day to gain a powerbase back home in the USA. Britain is great for culture and Australia for sun, but you can't beat the USA for raw power.

I gotta tell ya, just going on the net and knowing anyone I saw could be mine sent shivers up my spine. As was only fitting, I decided to zap Shandi Finessey, Miss USA 2004, to welcome me home as I flew back into America at Reagan Airport.


Miss USA 2004, Shandi Finnessey, stares at the exit gate at the airport, waiting for a particular person.

I looked her up and dwn, and she "simultaneously" kissed me. We decided to try a new Indian place in Georgeown, and I zapped her to believe the curry made her feel spicy inside. Afterwards we asked the proprietor of the store his name, then zapped him and asked for keys to his car and house. We sped to the home and leaped into bed.


Shandi is a handful in bed!

I named her my personal secretary for the North American continent; I do plan to split this region up later, when I have the time. After that we met Kerry, who agreed to support our plan to make Bush step down. So, surprisingly, did our next guest, Vice President Cheney.



Day 18

Today I decided to zap a few more Senators, to improve my standing in Washington. I zapped Senators McCain, Edwards, Frist, and Landrieu.


Senator McCain


Senator Edwards


Senator Frist


Mary Landrieu

Almost as an afterthought, I wined and dined Senator Landrieu and then had fun with her in her Hart building office. As the say, you can never be too powerful. Or something like that. I'll admit, she was better than I exspected. But then, once I figured this trick out, I realized I was pretty well equipped to have loads of fun.

Continued in next post...

[M]

Day 25

Today Shandi introduced me to Susie Castillo, last year's Miss USA and Miss Universe. (That's right, we win at everything!) She didn't seemed overly thrilled to meet me, probably because my power has made me forget some manners and I was gawking quite visibly. Power does that to you.


Miss USA 2002-Miss Universe 2003 Susie Castillo looks less than thrilled to make my acquantance.

Hiwever, not enjoying this, I zapped to her an extreme fetish for my feel, which she fell upon and began to bestow numerous kisses to. She looked up at me. "Your feet are so beautiful" she sighed wistfully.


She's smiling at the feet.

"Well, I come with them, you know." I explained.

"I only want your gorgeous" feet, she breathed. "But I need them enough to be yours in any way you want me".


She only loves me for my feet!

Lovemaking was very enjoyable, but she kep going for my... toes. Maybe I'll erase her slight mania there in a few days. But I find it too interesting to shut it immediately. Oh, and I appointed her my personal secretary for the Despotic Federation's Caribbean and Atlantic territories; she is Puerto Rican, after all.


Susie thanks me for her promotion. Shes a very, very good thanker.

Day 30

I'm taking a break for now. I'm in the Virgin Islands with my pedamaniac secretary for the Caribbean and Atlantic. If Bush quits, I'll have him zapped and otherwise try to influence the selection of the next Hereditary President. (And last, if I've got anything to do with it). I have many plans for next month.


On vacation with Susie Castillo. Seeya next turn!



Verin, change that to Gustaf Lundren, use the same address so it'll automatically change.

Gustaf got 4 bonuses of +5 for seducing well-known women, and +10 for a politically powerful one. All penalties are suspended until Gustaf gets in power. Gustaf has a starting total of +30.

Even holding the election at all has gotten Bush in trouble with the aliens. After all, he's supposed to be an absolute monarch. Try to attack him from the other side by proving he's not a real democrat if the Commonwealth and Scandinavia can't vote. The committe you are setting up could be key.

[M]

To be filled in. The Viceroyalty of the Americas is currently being played by ThePrezMex, and he can turn both posts in when the next turn is due.



But I think his real character will be himself, Cesar Martinez Espinosa.

[M]

Aleksander sat alone in his chamber, wondering just what had happened. He’d just returned from the UN chamber, and was pensively thinking about the future of Poland, his home nation, as well as the new European Zollverein, and the wider world. Would Poland succeed under this form of government, and would the world? Would the reborn Russian empire be satisfied with their territory, or as it had done so often in the past, would it come hunting for new lands, in Europe?

Aleksander poured himself a whiskey. He knew it was going to be a hard time for his nation, and that he was next to powerless. He would call Shröeder and request that the German secures the future of Poland, but he knew that he was all but powerless. The whiskey was starting to have an effect, and Aleksander fell asleep in his chair.

3 hours later

The secretary tapped on the door. Paulina Panek, Miss Poland 2004, had been Alexanders’ secretary for almost a year now, and there was little they didn’t know about each other. As she suspected, the now-former-President was asleep in his chair, thinking. She turned to leave the room when a flash of red light filled the room, startling her, and making Aleksander jump from his seat. A bolt of lightning came from above and struck Aleksander with enough force to smash him back into his filing draws, and causing Paulina to scream.

Then, almost as soon as it had started, it was over. Aleksander lay slumped on the floor, and Paulina rushed over to him. She started to comfort him, to hold him, and to pray that he would be safe. As she wept into his shoulder, she heard a voice in her head.

“Paulina, you will now succumb to my power. After this moment, all that I say to you will be obeyed. You understand completely and utterly, and therefore, you will now nod.” Paulina slowly nodded, as Aleksander continued. “”I want you to leave now, and to return here in the morning. You will have no memory of this day. You have now been zapped.”

Paulina left Aleksander, and he stood up. He felt young again, and seemed to be a lot more agile. He also felt an amazing sense of empowerment, and was amazed at his new ability. Aleksander sat down in his chair, poured himself a whiskey, and fell asleep again, contemplating his new ability.

One Week Later

Aleksander entered the Congresshalle in Berlin, the home of the new King’s advisory council, with two delegates from every nation now in his control. Aleksander looked around and saw many political leaders, and a couple of civilian and business leaders as well. He even saw the famous Portuguese soccer player, Luis Figo, behind the Portuguese delegation’s desk. Aleksander sat down alongside his secretary, Paulina, and his fellow Polish delegate, former Prime Minister Leszek Miller, now under his control.

He looked around the room once more. He new that this would be his playground; his base for all that he planned for Europe, Poland, and himself. His eyes strayed towards the better half of the Dutch delegation, Queen Beatrix. With full knowledge of what he could do to women now with his zapping power, he quickly looked away. Aleksander now felt vaguely disgusted by himself.

He continued scanning the room, and soon found that there were very few powerful and influential women in the room. This wouldn’t help him, he knew, but maybe it was for the best, and he could continue with his dryer and more academic pursuits, at least for the moment. After the last delegates had arrived from the Vatican City, the new King entered. Everyone stood up, although some with more respect then others. As Gerhard strode confidently on stage, Aleksander could not help remembering the Nazis that plagued his country, followed by the Soviets. Now, Poland was again under control by a foreign power, and the pain was deep, concealed many layers inside of him. With his new mind powers, he could tell the same reactions were taking place in the delegates of many other countries, and he knew these would be the crucial people to control.

They sat down again, and the conference to determine the future of Europe commenced. Aleksander said nothing all day, but he did manage to somehow get the Italian representatives to quack like chickens, and the Swiss President to sing La Marseillaise.
(story continues after photos)
Photos:

Paulina Panek’s job interview

Aleksander Kwasniewski zapping Luis Figo at the conference

The Swiss President still singing the Marseillaise, even though he’s been evicted from the conference

Queen Beatrix arrives at the conference, straight from “skiing” in Switzerland

King Gerhard Schroeder introduces the official royal wave

Silvio Berlusconi has trouble with the chicken dance

Zapatero’s been zapped-by Paulina’s…well, this is PG…

Luis Figo, only doing what he’s told by Aleksander

(back to the story)
The second day of the conference came, and it was Aleksander’s turn to present the opinion of Poland. He walked up to the podium, reaffirmed the obedience of those in his control with a quick glance at them all, and commenced his speech.

“Poland has both a proud and sorry history. We were one of the foremost nations on earth for centuries, and we lost it. We ended up being under German or Russian control for much of the last century, and now we are again under the control of Germany.

It is my belief that it is better to be in Europe then in Russia, and I believe most of my fellow Eastern European leaders will agree. But I’m not sure if my people will. It is my firm belief that every state of the Zollverein should have self-determination of the peoples. Every country ought to hold a referendum on whether to remain in the EZ or to join another union. I also believe strongly that we should encourage those areas that belong to Europe’s past, and future, if not present, be allowed to have these referenda too. I refer most specifically to Ireland, every individual British territory, Scandinavia, and some of my fellow eastern European countries that have been stolen by Russia, such as Ukraine. I ask you all to support me in this, and would welcome the chance to see them followed through, for the Zollverein, of course.”

Aleksander whispered ‘cheer’ and all the people under his control instantaneously burst from their seats and started cheering. The remaining delegates, not quite sure what was going on, just sat and politely clapped, not too sure if it was a great idea.

 A week later

The first conference was over, and Aleksander had had some fun. Whilst the decision was being made on whether to introduce self-determination, Aleksander didn’t have much to do, except run “Poland Province” as his country had now been named. Aleksander vowed that he would get Gerhard eventually, and make all of Germany, and all of Russia, and the entire world, Polish. Until there is a cheese kransky available in every country, the world is nothing.

The next two weeks passed unevetfully, as King Gerhard could make an decisions. Aleksander did manegae, however, to seduce Paulina, and he was itching to get to work on Miss Slovakia. Aleksander spent much of the time in his stdy, concoting his maciavellian plans for the EZ.

Paulina again



+5 for seducing Paulina. + 10 for getting it in on time. A starting total of +15.

Schroeder is feeling the heat. But a little pressure from some other heads of state might go a long way. Especially credivle threat of force...

[M]

Day 1 - Intro-y/Preview-y Thing

***

Moscow, Russia, Russian Empire

 

            Garry Kasparov stared at the pieces in front of him, analyzing every move he could make.  Unfortunately for him, there were only two moves (Kf1 and Kg2) as the Black queen on c5 had him in check.  After thinking about what could happen, Kasparov decided to move to f1.  He picked up his King… and then it happened.
Garry Kasparov:
 

Zzap.

 

            Instantly Kasparov felt a tingling sensation radiate through himself.  Was this a heart attack, or something?  His opponent, Anatoly Karpov (talented chess player), was utterly unfazed.  Perhaps this had something to do with those aliens that had found the earth about a month ago, but he doubted that.  Oh well.  Karpov seemed to be considering his next move.  It would move his rook on e8 to e1; something a new person to chess would make, if they thought that the ultimate purpose was checking.  Kasparov imagined it happening… he even 'sent it over' to Karpov if he had ESP.

Anatoly Karpov:


 And then the impossible happened.

 

            Karpov moved his rook to e1.

 

            Kasparov tried his best not to stare.  What was going on?  Did he really have ESP?  What else changed after the 'zap'?  Kasparov captured the rook on e1 with his queen on c3.  And this is how the rest of the game went, with Kasparov seemly using his mind control:

 

78. Kf1 Re1+?? 79. Qxe1 Qg1+?? 80. Kxg1 g5? 81. fxg5 c3? 82. Rxc3 h6? 83. Rc7! Hxg5?? 84. Qe8#

 

            Just to make sure of it, Kasparov had Karpov dance around the room they were playing chess in while singing the Russian National Anthem.  Now to see if there were any other 'side effects' of this new ESP…

 

***

Day 3

***

 

            Today, I tested out my alternate effects theory on Anna Kournikova (well-known tennis player).  Well, what would you know.  It seems I was right… my drive has gone up.  Whatever happened to me two days ago was not bad in the least bit.  Anna didn't seem to mind, either.  More pleasure for both of us, yes?

Anna Kournikova:


   Yesterday I worked on finding the limits of my mind control powers.  First, I tried 'zapping' (the term I've coined for this) Tsar Vladimir I.  I believe him to be an idiot; not at all good enough to rule.  I have my thoughts on who should be Tsar, of course, and if you can't see them, you too are an idiot.  So, I tried zapping Tsar Putin so I would be next in line for Tsar… then zap one of his security guards to shoot him.  Unfortunately, it seems Tsar Putin can't be zapped.  Next I tried zapping Bobby Fisher; that didn't work either.  Perhaps it's because he was born outside the Russian Empire.

 

            What did work today was my zapping of Valentina Tereshkova (the first woman in space).  She gave a speech today about the importance of Single Stage to Orbit spacecraft, 'for the good of the Russian Empire'.



Valentina Tereshkova:



***

Day 8

***

 

            Today, in a carefully orchestrated series of speeches, it seems that Grigorii Yavlinskii (leader of Yabloko, a reformist political party), Sergei Glazyev (head of the 'Rodina bloc', a Left-Nationalist political party), and, rather surprisingly, Mikhail Fradkov (current PM of Russia) have called on Tsar Putin to resign.  Odd, that.

Grigorii Yavlinskii:


Sergei Glazyev:


Mikhail Fradkov:

     
 In the mean time, Nikolai Kardashev (astrophysicist & deputy director of the Space Research Institute at the Academy of Sciences in Moscow) has suddenly shifted his studies to researching SSTO technology

Nikolai Kardashev:

 
Also of note is Stanislav Petrov (should-be hero who refused to launch nukes at the US, despite computers saying the US fired a nuke at the USSR) insisting on less nuclear missiles 'in these atypical times'.

Stanislav Petrov:
(craptacular pic )


***

Day 11

***

 

            Nadia Petrova (tennis star; ranked #6 in the world) is a very lovely girl, I have learned.  She and Anna Kournikova have quite a bit in common.

Nadia Petrova:


***

Day 14

***

 

            Tsarina Lyudmila Putin (wife of  Tsar Vladimir I) also wants Tsar Vladimir I to step down.  Apparently, it's so 'we can spend more time with our daughters, Katya and Masha'.  I know better, though.


Lyudmila Putin:


***

Day 19

***

           

            In a strange turn of events, Boris Yeltsin has decided to ask for Tsar Vladimir to step down.  He claims that the Tsar may turn the Russian Empire into a police state.  Lucky for me, he didn't need much 'convincing'/zapping.  He could've really believed it.

 
Boris Yeltsin:
 (Yay
chin-flesh )

Victor Pelevin (modern Russian science fiction writer) is starting a book about an alien realm which was made of 10 kingdoms.  The story centers around a zysmeri player (very similar to chess), ranked #1 in the world, who has dreams of becoming King of his empire, overthrowing the current despotic, cruel King.  I hope the general public isn't too dense, and they realize who it's really talking about.

Victor Pelevin:


***

Day 21

***

 

            I thought I'd do something different today, so I had the pleasure of meeting (and more than that) Yulia Volkova (singer in t.A.T.u., a popular Russian pop duo).

 
Yulia Volkova:


***

Day 22

***

 

            Today I expreienced the other half of t.A.T.u., Elena Katina (the other singer in t.A.T.u.)!  It's good fun.

Elena Katina:

***

Day 25

***

 

            Vladimir Bukovsky (Soviet author and dissident; currently a persona non grata in Russia), speaking from his home in Cambridge, England, made a speech attacking Tsar Vladimir I, claiming human rights abuses, and possible reopening of labor camps.  It is not known if that's true, but hey, I can say it is!


Vladimir Bukovsky:


***

Day 29

***

            Vitaly Ginzburg (physicist; won the Nobel Prize in Physics in 2003) begins work on a new propulsion system for spacecraft based on his work on superconductors.


Vitaly Ginzburg:




+5 * 4 for seductions of well known women. + 10 for getting it in on time. That gives you +30.

But beware- the FSP will surely start cracking down on opposition. Putin won't give in easy.

[M]

To be completed by Siege when he sends in his second turn. Like ThePrezMex, he's doing two turns in one.

[M]

Very interesting, these new powers I got there...I wonder what I'll use them
for? Power? Fame? Beautiful Women? A Better World For Us All (except Brahmin
Scum)? I think I'll go with the All Of The Above option.

Day 1
Former Defense Minister and Janata Dal (United) Leader George Fernandes has
applied for membership in the JDU. Interesting turn of events, after all his
Laloo bashing during the election campaign. I'll leave him waiting a bit,
though, I got an urgent - er - business trip to Mumbai.
George Fernandes -
Day 2
Spent all day and all of the night in bed with former beauty queens and
Bollywood actresses Lara Dutta and Aishwarya Rai. This is what I've always hoped
life would be like for all poor Biharis once I've attained world domination. I
was surprised to find that while Ash gives the better BJ, Lara is much tighter.
I'm hiring her as my personal secretary.
Lara Dutta -
Aishwarya Rai -
Day 3
NCP leader and Food and Agriculture minister Sharad Pawar has voiced his
disappointment with Manmohan Singh's style of governance and called for a change
of Prime Minister.
Sharad Pawar -
Meanwhile, Malaysia's former PM Mahathir Muhammad has, in a public speech,
called Singapore's PM Goh Chok Tong "a prok-eating pig that should be
slaughtered" and added that Goh's decision not to join the Hindustani Empire ran
counter to the best interests of Singaporeans. Silly Mahathir... His successr
Abdullah Ahmad Darawi has ordered the army to prepare for an invasion of
Singapore. Not that this was publicly announced, of course, but I know anyways.
Mahathir Muhammad -

Abdullah Ahmed Badawi (not Darawi as misprinted in pt.1) -


(GM's note- like you had to zap Mahathir to hear craziness like that!)

Day 4
Nothing much to report, except that Indian-born British author Salman Rushdie
has publicly endorsed the cause of the Chagos Islanders, who want to return to
their islands, currently leased to the US by Britain. I could do without the US
base at Diego Garcia...
Salman Rushdie -

Day 5
DMK leader and former Tamil Nadu CM M.Karunanidhi has echoed Sharad Pawar's
complaints and threatened a withdrawal of his party and its Tamil allies from
the government. He has said that the PMship should not be held by the Congress
Party.
M Karunanidhi -
Day 6
INC president Sonia Gandhi has expressed "sympathy" with Mr Pawar's and Mr
Karunanidhi's position. She has also been a good girl in other ways.
Sonia Gandhi -
Day 7
Taliban leader Mullah Omar has made a video that will be smuggled to Al-Jazeera
in which he calls for a truce with America and Israel and states that the true
Muslim's first aim must be the extermination of the Shia heresy, especially in
Iran.
Mullah Omar -
(I should point out that whether this, or any, photo really shows the Mullah has
been doubted.)
Day 8
Than Shwe, the leader of Myanmar's Peace and Development Council (aka, the
junta), has committed suicide by eating his pistol and choking on the squib.
Than Shwe -
Day 9
Uttar Pradesh CM Mulayam Singh Yadav, who supports the government from the
outside, has said that the current crisis better be resolved quickly and has
said that Railway Minister Laloo Prasad Yadav might make a good compromise Prime
Minister. Ah, hooray for caste loyalties!
Mulayam Singh Yadav -
Day 10
Cambodia's king Norodom Sihanouk has "surprisingly" returned from his
self-imposed exile in North Korea. In a statement distributed to journalists, he
has thanked PM Hun Sen for his wisdom in choosing the Hindustani Empire and has
expressed his hope that all future Cambodian government decisions will be run by
the Indian government. PM Hun Sen has expressed his willingness to do so.
Surprisingly, however, opposition leader Sam Rainsy has also welcomed this
development...
Norodom Sihanouk -
Hun Sen -
Sam Rainsy -
Day 11
Pakistani born German citizen and Frankfurt kiosque employee Shahnawaz Housain
is travelling to Poland with the intention of doing off President Aleksandr
Kwasniewski with a "butterfly" knife. I wish him success. (I know this guy well,
having played Hockey with him for several years. The knife is in his possession.
Very nice guy, speaks German with a traditional Frankfurt accent. He'd never do
anything like this in real life) He is travelling by train because that's much
the safest way of smuggling weapons within Europe. He'll check into some cheap
backpackers' hostel and see if he can get close to Kwasniewski at some sort of
public rally. He will wait patiently for his opportunity.
Day 12
Afghani president Hamid Karzai has asked US and German troops in Afghanistan to
leave. Pakistani president Pervez Musharraf has ordered the transfer of army
units from Kashmir to the Beluchi border.
Hamid Karzai -
Pervez Musharraf -

Day 13
Indonesian president Megawati Sukarnoputri has also ordered troops and ships
from Aceh to opposite Singapore. I wonder if it means something...
Megawati Sukarnoputri -
Day 14
I think it's time for another trip to Bombay. I need two personal secretaries,
one is not enough to quench my newfound sexual thirst.
If Shahnawaz' attempt succeeds he will kill himself to avoid being questioned.
Megawati Sukarnoputri will also augment troop strength around East Timor.
I will test two more Bollywood actresses, namely Priyanka Chopra
() and
Mallika Sherawat
() and will
hire Mallika as my second personal assistants. The two lovelies will accompany
me everywhere from now on, putting their film career on hold.
Lara Dutta again:
 If my wife
complains I will zap her into submittence (and search for a pic of her on the
net - I know I've seen one in the Newspaper when I was in India.)
Manmohan Singh will be barraged with further calls for his resignation by those
previously mentioned plus senior Congress leader and minister of Electricity
Pranab Mukherjee () and Sonia
Gandhi's daughter, influential Congress politician without official mandate
Priyanka Vadra () on a daily basis.
If he resigns, President of India A.P.A.Abdul Kalam
()


Not all pics may work on all computers.

Laloo got +5 * 4 for well known women and +10 for a politically powerful one, and got the update iin on time for +10, AND I consider his update the best this turn for another +10. This puts him in the lead with +50 points!

The assasination attempt failed, but your friend got out alive.

[M]

Firstly im going ZAP Jackie Chan Chow Yun fat

Michelle Yeoh

 and Directors Ang Lee

 and John woo

 into creating a new
action film with me.  At the premiere I will invite the heads of the
Chinese government.
Then i will ZAP Hun Jintao the secretary general into ordering his
personal guard away and then i will order him to shoot all of the
other government officials.  Now he will sign china over to me.  Then
I will send my three martial arts generals to separate corners of
China where they will start monastaries and train me an army of artial
artists to restore confucianism to china.  Now i will deploy the
martial artists into the many sweatshops including the Macintosh
factory in Shanghai.  There they will kill the owners and fake the
paperwork about work quotas then have all the nike sweatshops start
making bullets and guns.  The mac factory will be used to wire
together my network.  Now my great army with hi tech communication
will wash over china declaring me as the descendant of the jade
emperor come to liberate them of communism so they rise up with their
new guns and overthrow the remainder of the government who could
oppose me.  Now after i rule china i will redirect all science towards
the aquistion of war technology.  Now i will send jackie chan under
cover with troops into taiwan and using their artial arts skills to
kill the family and rule it all.  Now all people in china will be
placed back into the caste system.  All people will be directed back
into their families original classes.  Industry will be  modernized
and agriculture will be optimized inorder to turn out more food than
ever.  Now i will have 1 million conscripted then they will be sent
into a suicide charge into trans amurian russia while each is strapped
with explosive therefore oblitterating the place and then tmoving myy
people in there.  Now i will have geneticists brought together and do
the research to super enhance my personal body.  I will use the
confucianist philosophy of education to teach the children science and
wrfare in respect to their caste.  Then i will have contractors
contruct a new great wall from steel and have guns everywhere along
the wall.  Now i will take the bodies that are dead and work on using
technology to transform them into zombies and unleash them into korea
but only after the walls are finished.  That is my first turn.



This was certainly a very original AAR for the Celestial Kingdom. Unfortunately, I have had to disqualify certain events- Chariman Hu cannot be zapped, and the ban on international wars will last through the third turn. However, Jet Li and his karate army succeeded in tricking Chinese factories into manufacturing weaponry, and the Chinese govt now has a major "Millitary Corpse Reanimation Program". Demonking says he will continue playing with more detailed, diary type turns. An interesting start.

Demonking has +5 for seducing Michelle Yeoh (not implicitly stated, but I assume he did), and +10 for being on time.

[M]

Action report for Masayoshi Son

Day One

Now the software my company products come with a subliminal message system that shove this message down people’s brains: “You must rebel against the government! Become a brainless zombie at the orders of Masayoshi Son”. Who needs zapping when you have a giant software company? This message goes only to software sold in the Kingdom 8 area.

Day Five

I got on my Private Jet(by the way, I need a new one so bad), and I flew to North Korea. Those damned commies wouldn’t let me in at first, but it just took offer the air traffic controller a little… erm… bonus, and things were solved. I visited Kim Jong-il and zapped him, and suddenly, I ordered him to point all the nukes to Japan. I also make him write a musical about my life.(It’s a well-known fact that, during the presidency of his father, Kim Jong-il created a lot of musicals about North Korea history and glorifying his father. And they were very good indeed.) I also sent Kim to the Korea border.

Day Ten

I got on my private jet again, after waiting all these time for gas to be found, since there is nothing in the commie heaven. I then took a quick flight to South Korea. I walked a little to the presidential palace. It took me a little bit of “incentive” to the president’s personal secretary, but finally I got face to face with the man. Well, you know what happened, don’t you? ZAP. I took Roh Moo-hyun(the president) to the Korea border to meet Kim Jong-il, but first, I made him phone President Bush and tell all the US troops to go away. Then, finnaly, both Koreas “agreed” to reunite, but since they both thought they were too incompetent to rule a joint Korea, they designate me! Oh, how onored I am. Now there is the need for the Korean parliament to approve. It should be done in a few weeks. Maybe a few stock options in my company can help to “convince” the more reticent MPs.

Day Fifteen

ZAPped Nobutada Saji, a billionaire who a food and drinks  manufacturer in japan. Now, in order to buy his food, the person who uses it must pledge allegiance to me, and help me overtake the government.


Day Twenty

Kim Jong-il’s musical is fully written. Now it’s just a matter of rehearsing.


Day Twenty Five

I ZAPped Emperor Akihito. Now he keeps yelling at Koizumi.

Day Twenty Nine

The musical premiers. I know it was a short time, but the actors were very well paid.

Day Thirty
I pint my nukes at Korea to Japan and demand the government from Koizumi.


You have +10 for being on time. While you failed to seduce anyone, the main point getter in the early rounds, you are the losest here to gaining control of govt. A foreign policy crisis might help- why don't you stir the pot with China a bit?

[M]

Day 1-Those aliens dissolved the UN. . . darn, I guess I'm out of a job.  I
spent the day in Kinshasa.  I was talking with my good friend Joseph today
(Joseph Kabila-president of the DRC
), and all of a sudden I
found that I could control him!  Wow, that's one person ZAPped.  My wife
(the politically powerful Nane Annan
) was angry at me
for spending so much time at Joseph-now out of a job as well-'s house, but I
seduced her, and all was good.



Day 2-flew back to Ghana.  I'm tired.



Day 5-I had a meeting with Negus Obasanjo in Abuja today.  Man, why does he
have to call himself a Negus?  And really, he lucked out by just happening
to be in charge of the largest country around.  Anyway, why isn't South
Africa with us?  If I were in charge, I could set things right!  Hey . . .
that gives me a great idea!



Day 6-Negus Obasanjo is a buffoon.  Our people are starving, and what is he
doing?  Well, I don't want to ZAP him yet.  Way too suspicious.  Everybody
thinks I'm such a nice guy.  So I can't just take over all of a sudden.  But
I will be in charge soon enough.



Day 7-I ZAPped John (John Agyekum Kufuor-president of Ghana
 [the one
on the right]) today.  That puts two formerly powerful people on my side.
That's not enough though.  Most of these former leaders are undyingly loyal
to the Negus.



Day 8-Traveled to Nairobi.



Day 9-Talked to Mwai Kibaki (president of Kenya
) today.
Nice enough guy, but loyal to the Negus.  So I ZAPped him.  I'm now driving
up to Addis Ababa.  Man, there's so much internal strife here.  People
fighting amongst each ourselves when there's 9 other monarchies out there.



Day 10-I talked Girma Wolde-Giorgis {Ethopia's president}.  He was kinda
supportive, but I zapped him anyway.  I think I'm going to zap as many
former African leaders-those with clout-as I can, that way it will be easy
to take over.



Day 11-Flight to Mozambique.  I want to secure the area around South Africa.



Day 12-I met today with the former Mozambique president Joaquim Chissano.
{} . . . ZAP.  I'm headed to the islands tomorrow.



Day 14-Boat ride to Madagascar  Some trouble from stupid Europeans with
their nearby islands.  We should own these islands, not them {mayotte,
reunion, etc.}



Day 15-I talked to former president Marc Ravalomanana{Madagascar
}.
Man, this is getting boring, just going around and ZAPing people.  I think I
'll cancel tomorrow's trip to the Comoros.



Day 16-What an interesting day .  I instead went to Reunion, which is
owned by the Europeans.  Being a worldwide celebrity, they were glad to have
me.  I spent the say talking to people one-on-one, remembering their names
and faces for future reference , and schmoozing the ladies.  I even
seduced one, but I was too drunk to remember her name .  I hope that doesn
't make the papers.



Day 17-I met with, Azali Assoumani {president of Comoros
 }.  He was
kinda mad that I skipped out on him yesterday, but we smoothed it all over
.



Day 18-Today I discussed politics James Michel {president of Seychelles} and
of course ZAPped him.  I'm starting to get a lot of publicity for this tour
around the former African nations and meeting with the former leaders.  That
's allright with me.



Day 19-Anerood Jugnauth (president of Mauritius
) was my final meeting of
the island tour, and my final ZAP for a while.  This is just too tiring.
That's 10 former leaders, though, that I've zapped.  Pretty good I think for
now.



Days 20-23-flight back to Accra, and some R&R



Day 24-Kasparov?



Day 25-I went back to Abuja today to meet with Negus Obasanjo.  When I'm in
charge, I'm moving the capital out of here.  We really need to build up our
industry.  The former DRC has some of the highest natural resources in the
world.  We should exploit them.  The Nagus is calling a meeting of all the
former heads of state.  It'll be a good time to assemble the ones I've
ZAPped and maybe a few more.  I can't wait .



Days 26-27-waiting for the conference, and plotting.  Former US
Representative Stephanie Herseth came by Abuja today, and let's just say, I
spent a lot of time with her



Day 28-The Former Head of State Conference began today.  I sat the ZAPped
ones altogether at one side.  Of course, I'm not officially a part of the
conference, but I'm an "observer."  Heh, and I'm really calling the shots
myself.  I ZAPped Benjamin Mkapa {president of Tanzania
), Robert Mugabe
(president of Zimbabwe
), and Fran&#1495;ois
Boziz&#1497; (president of CAR
).



Day 29-The second day of the conference went by pretty smoothly.  The power
is gaining .



Day 30-Well, I finally zapped the Negus today.  That makes 14 of the most
powerful Africans under my control.  Soon I'll make my move



Unfortunately, this one has a few kinks. You cannot directly zap your ruler, the Negus. Nane, who is Swedish born, and Herseth, who is American born, cannot be zapped. Also, while you did have the Comoros woman, as an unknwn she was worth no points. Sorry to do it to you, Harry. I'm sure you'll make up for it with a smashing turn after band camp.

You got +10 for being on time. Also, in a fractious kingdom like Africa, zapping the warlords who were formerly international leaders is a good start.