Official DownWithTheLeft Campaign Kick-Off

[Small Business Owner of Any Repute]

Dear Senator,

Your humble constituency in the glorious Commonwealth of Massachusetts writes to implore you to impose our radical, left wing agenda upon the general citizenry nationwide.

Among others, the issues we expect you to champion are as follows:

(1) Mandatory same-sex unions for those over 18.  Provisions of this bill should allow for non-sexual experimentation at the age of 16, which would entail taking a cell phone photo of yourself kissing a member of the same sex, and then uploading the picture onto a myspace account.
(2) Universal Healthcare in the current, f-ed up way Massachusetts chose to implement it.  This means the government should punish those who cannot afford to buy their own health insurance with fines.
(3) National celebration of "Suddenly Susan Week" should be extended to a full month; "Suddenly Susan Month" shall take place October 1–31, 2007.
(4) Full repeal of any law that disallows animals the right to vote.
(5) A special 60% income tax rate applicable only to those living in Rutherford, NJ and New Canaan, CT.

All laws which may be deemed unconstitutional should be instead introduced as constitutional amendments.  After all, it is a living, breathing document.

Should you fail to obtain for the citizenry the results which we desire, we must humbly look elsewhere for our next Senator.

Yours Truly,
The Citizenry of the Commonwealth of Massachusetts.

[Small Business Owner of Any Repute]

Also, as part of this "Suddenly Susan Month," we expect the highlight event to be the rededication of "Acadia National Park" as "David Strickland Memorial National Park."  Strickland, as you may know, considered himself to be a native of New Jersey (Princeton).

Realizing that you are a fiscal conservative, we realize it too much to ask for a bronze statue in his honor, but we would like to ask that an existing statue be repurposed.

Forgive us if you think these requests unusual, but we were under advisement that if there was any Senator to send pointless bills that have no chance of passage to, you would be he.

Respectfully Yours,
The Amassed Citizenry of the Commonwealth of Massachusetts

[Small Business Owner of Any Repute]

Sounds like the re-election campaign is firmly planted on the right track!

Stay the course, good buddy!

[Small Business Owner of Any Repute]

Running for office in real life?

 Good luck, it aint easy.

Ah, the New Jersey GOP's seen worse.

[Small Business Owner of Any Repute]

O great Gods of redistricting, please make DWTL my next Senator!  

[Small Business Owner of Any Repute]

*Making the game about fun and not hate

Are you planning on drafting a law banning people from not having fun?

Well, it's not a plan for a law but an overall attitude for the game that I have stressed during my whole term in office and will continue to do so

Nothing says fun and hate-free like the discussion here in the official DWTL campaign kick-off thread!