Comedy Goldmine 3: The Mineshaft--SHAFT!

[Speed of Sound]

We should just create a thread for jmfcst to Bible thump and fight with alfeitch and keep it out of here. At least everyone should pledge to never debate jmfcst in this thread.

We should have a religion child board...

Only if you name it whatit really would be: "Obnoxious Extremist Hackery Religion Board"

Today's (and everyday's) topic: Extremist Christians and Extremist Atheists duke it out in ridiculous quoting/shouting/nit picking match!!!!!!!!

But the fight here is not between an extreme christian and extreme atheist...it is between different views of Christianity.

True, but a board would quickly become what ive described above.

[Bacon King]

She's my type, very bubbly and smart.  She's one of the few women I can imagine myself marrying.  We'd make sweet love and then we'd discuss the demographics of New Mexico.  Plus, being a history buff there'd be something really cool about the whole thing.  People would be talking about Herbert Hoover, and then I'd be able to brag that I did his great-granddaughter.  Yeah.  I know PBrunsel is jealous.

[Joe Republic]

According to this thing, Diebold recorded about four times as many votes as a hand job did. Riiiiiight.

I think Opebo will tell you that usually a hand job is less.

[YRABNNRM]

RIP to an enemy of Robert Muldoon.

The gamekeeper in Jurassic Park?

[Joe Republic]

I think Barack could get a nice 'stache going.

  that's what I'm talkimbout.



Too sexy, baby.

[Alcon]

It's finally happened.  Naso was intentionally funny.

let's see...

she is dumb.
she is skanky

and she looks like a f'ing barbie doll/

not my kind of woman.

Your signature says otherwise.

[Robespierre's Jaw]

eww twincest

[Hash]

a crazy person.

You don't like Christian democracy?

The original definition of Christian democracy is centrist. As in the MRP, CDU, FG etc.

I'm fairly moderate. Social = conservative, economic = liberal.

[© tweed]

should undocumented immigrants be allowed to file police reports without threat of deportation?

No - encourage them to report crimes though - but then deport them.

[Bacon King]

A+++++++  WILL USE AGAIN!!!!!!

[I spent the winter writing songs about getting better]

Mike, enough with the "style over substance" crap.  Substance is just a buzz word for experience, which usually translates into being part of the establishment, which is not a good thing.

You avoided the issue though, smart guy. We are at war. A president needs some experience. He may dance on Oprah...but that doesn't equate to being qualified to lead during war.

[Verily]

Hello and welcome to Jesus 101!

In the beginning, God created man. He was all like, "Dude, don't do that sh**t over there." But man was all "Whatever, man," and did it anyway (man was probably high). God was pissed and was like, "You idiot, now I have to send you to hell. I LOVE YOU!" Man was like "That's lame." So God felt a little bad and was like "Well just wait 2000 years I'll fix everything."

So 2000 years later this Jesus guy pops out and doesn't do any of that sh**t over there. God was like, "Jesus is so awesome, let's kill him so that man doesn't have to go to hell." So they killed Jesus and that was a serious bummer. But then Jesus popped out of the ground a few days later all like, "Pshh death is for pussies. Believe me and you can come hang out with God."

[CPT MikeyMike]

Having Sexual relations with that woman.

[I spent the winter writing songs about getting better]

Can't Ronnie Shows run against Uncle Thad? It seems like a waste to have both Democratic Ronnies running for the same Senate seat.

Why would Ronnie Shows run in a race where he's bound to get massacred?

Because he knows how important it is to those of us on an internet message board!

[YRABNNRM]

Romney and his campaign have too much integrity, principle, and honor to conduct anything as deceitful as a push poll.

[Keystone Phil]

I suspect the reason you are tired of living, WalterMity, is that you are a poor.  Being poor is very tiresome.

[Sam Spade]

Crap.  I misread the question.

LOL.  Oh, it's all so confusing.  Did I vote for Patrick Buchanan?  Oh, no.  Can I get a do-over?  Maybe I need new glasses.  These retirement villages really ought to send someone out to explain these complicated polls.  Why, back in my day folks used to help each other.  Damn flies!  Now, what was I saying?  Pie?  Oh, yes, I do like pie.  Will you fetch my teeth, dear? 

[tik 🪀✨]

Dancing with a snake and strapping on a bomb belt are to different things by a mile.

what the hell

[Tetro Kornbluth]

SIX ONE TWO FOR LIFE!

And I thought this forum couldn't get any whiter.

[Verily]

SIX ONE TWO FOR LIFE!

And I thought this forum couldn't get any whiter.

I think someone posted that here a while ago, but it's still golden.

[Gabu]

Romney: 46%
McCain: 27%
Paul: 14%
Giuliani: 10%
Thompson: 2%
Hunter: 1%

What happened to Huckabee?

Oh yea, that guy.

Romney: 42%
McCain: 22%
Paul: 14%
Huckabee: 11%
Giuliani: 8%
Thompson: 2%
Hunter: 1%

This is not to point and laugh at meekermariner; I just found this amusing.

[I spent the winter writing songs about getting better]

yay! Rudy gets a delegate! We'll have the momentum for Florida!

[Queen Mum Inks.LWC]

If Senator McCain does win in South Carolina today, it will be 8 years too late. He should have won it back in 2000 and could have saved us from the nightmare known as George Walker Bush.

I am honestly not sure how George Walker Bush has been a nightmare for children in Australia.

[Alcon]

what:

Hillary Clinton <info@hillaryclinton.com> wrote:
REELWOMEN&ROCKYBALBOA ANTLERUPS=3,4,5@30LBS;SITTING ANTLERUPS=6,7,8X16LBS;INCLINELY ANTLERUPS=9,10,11X50LBS;DECLINELY ANTLERUPS=12,13,14X50LBS;SUPINELY ANTLERUPS=3X15@30LBS;HAMMER ANTLERUPS=45X24LBS;REVERSEL  ANTLERUPS=44X16LBS;ZAZENKEMPO ANTLERUPS=43X30POUNDS;YJESUSJYITSU-JUMPJAXA=125TIMELY SIXTEENPOUNDS;YOGAPOSITION ANTLERUPS=SETS OF 8AT 40LBS TILL FAILURE;TWISTABS=100SETS AT 10REPS;AEROBICMLQIZDKA-CARDIOMACHINELY-WORKING=5.3MILES AT 1.5MILES IN 30 MINUTES;KARATEMOVELY-KENPOY'SHUA;DATE=1-20-2008AD.CE.CHRISTSINCERELY/SHOUTOUT PARIS HILTON,
CAGLAR JUAN SINGLETARY

[Small Business Owner of Any Repute]

If Senator McCain does win in South Carolina today, it will be 8 years too late. He should have won it back in 2000 and could have saved us from the nightmare known as George Walker Bush.

I am honestly not sure how George Walker Bush has been a nightmare for children in Australia.

Ahhhhh.  See, it's stuff like this that makes me glad I stop by here every now and then!