i started coming out today, and i live in texas. that's social suicide sometimes!
Just noticed this. Good for you, if it makes you feel better to be out.
Melbourne is a remarkably accepting place and so I have felt comfortable here, although at 15 I was scared. I still haven't come out to my family.
When I moved to Canberra for uni, I moved into a student residence. It has 320 students, is run by the Dominicans and has a reputation as being the loudest, blokiest college on campus.
On my first day, I didn't know that. I had decided that in my new city I would be totally open about my sexuality, and so when the topic of girls was raised when I was playing pool with a couple of later-year ressies, I came out to them. The two guys were THE most blokey-bloke of the bunch; the head of the boy's club and his deputy.
They were actually pretty cool with it; in fact, one of them saw another guy who lived at the college walking past and said to me "Hey, I'm pretty sure that guy is gay, I'll go and get him". He came back with 'Adam', who was in the closet but so effete that suspicion was inevitable (he came out mid-year, and then left the college). He wasn't my type, but the event made me feel more comfortable about being out at college and since then i've been 100% out. when I later found out who those two were, I almost shat myself! Still, it was done and if it was ever to be pulled back, it would have been impossible once those two knew.
After 'Adam' left (and for most of the time he was there) I was the only open non-het there. Out of 320 people. Did it affect people's opinions of me? I'm fairly sure that it did. I know there are other non-hets there, but none have decided to come out, which is their right of course, but it is frustrating.
In the second semester I got involved with ANU Queer and it's social wing, the 'Jellybabies'. I'm not a militant homosexual or anything, and I enjoy the presence of many close straight friends in my life, but I very much enjoy being able to spend time with gay guiys, bi guys, bi girls, lesbians, a trans and a few ?s. I learnt some stuff, I met some drop-dead gorgeous guys, and I found a space where I could be totally relaxed about my sexuality at uni.
Being out does affect your social standing. It opens possibilities to new friendships if that's what you want, and also closes doors-but if someone doesn't want to know you because of your sexuality, they're probably not worth knowing.
By living as the only representative of an often misunderstood and occasionally persecuted minority in an environment like college, I saw some bad elements of people who lived with me. I only had two serious issues (). I also had a lot of positive responses, some from surprising sources, suh as the two guys at the pool table.
I wish you the best in the new angle of your life. Being 'bent' might not take you down the road of the majority, but who wants that when the alternate path feels right, and opens up some amazing new vistas?
I'm happier now than I have ever been. I hope the same for you.
