US Political junkies have a sense of humor too!! :-)

[© tweed]

For he's a jolly good fellow, for he's jolly good fellow, for he's a jolly good fellow, that no one can deny!

Ryan still only posted once, but he's still alive

[Demrepdan]

Ryan still only posted once, but he's still alive

I hope he posts more....he did that the LAST time. We didn't see him for a while....and then he showed up one day and made ONE post.....and we never saw him again.

[Gustaf]

Ryan still only posted once, but he's still alive

I hope he posts more....he did that the LAST time. We didn't see him for a while....and then he showed up one day and made ONE post.....and we never saw him again.

It also seems like a pretty odd post...did he comment on any of the interesting things that have been going on, such as the fall of Howard Dean, the fantasy elections, the fact that he was back, etc? No. He makes a post on the HUMOUR thread! The plot thickens...

[TheWildCard]

Okay heres a WildCard orginal.

XXXXXXX Fludge Report Exclusive Why Dean is still Running XXXXXX

For weeks now people have wondered why Howard Dean is still in the race... Well we here at the Fludge Report have the exclusive reason theres now a new chairman for the Dean campign his name Bagdad Bob!



Thats right folks in our exclusive interview with Bagdad Bob he says "The infidels shall fall! The media is full of lies we have gotten 100% of the vote so far."

When asked what he thought of the last democratic debate he said "I feel that Govenor Dean won it. He is the only candidate there the others are just ilusions of the media!"


XXXXXX This has been a Fludge Report Exclusive! XXXXXX

[Demrepdan]

Ryan still only posted once, but he's still alive

I hope he posts more....he did that the LAST time. We didn't see him for a while....and then he showed up one day and made ONE post.....and we never saw him again.

It also seems like a pretty odd post...did he comment on any of the interesting things that have been going on, such as the fall of Howard Dean, the fantasy elections, the fact that he was back, etc? No. He makes a post on the HUMOUR thread! The plot thickens...

I think Ryan has done it again.....his "hit and run technique.

He made ONE post that is now....what....nearly a week ago......and nothing else. He did the same thing a while back. If we're lucky....we'll be recieving one post from him every month.

[Gustaf]

Ryan still only posted once, but he's still alive

I hope he posts more....he did that the LAST time. We didn't see him for a while....and then he showed up one day and made ONE post.....and we never saw him again.

It also seems like a pretty odd post...did he comment on any of the interesting things that have been going on, such as the fall of Howard Dean, the fantasy elections, the fact that he was back, etc? No. He makes a post on the HUMOUR thread! The plot thickens...

I think Ryan has done it again.....his "hit and run technique.

He made ONE post that is now....what....nearly a week ago......and nothing else. He did the same thing a while back. If we're lucky....we'll be recieving one post from him every month.

All on the humour thread?

[Ryan]

Ryan still only posted once, but he's still alive

I hope he posts more....he did that the LAST time. We didn't see him for a while....and then he showed up one day and made ONE post.....and we never saw him again.

It also seems like a pretty odd post...did he comment on any of the interesting things that have been going on, such as the fall of Howard Dean, the fantasy elections, the fact that he was back, etc? No. He makes a post on the HUMOUR thread! The plot thickens...

I think Ryan has done it again.....his "hit and run technique.

He made ONE post that is now....what....nearly a week ago......and nothing else. He did the same thing a while back. If we're lucky....we'll be recieving one post from him every month.

All on the humour thread?

yup now U Know where my priorities lie

Thanks for the welcome guys...I see its still very much GUYS...more's the pity ...I didnt get a chance to read all thats being going on....just a few random posts... but it looks like its still a political junkie's paradise. I was afraid it would degenerate with all the nut jobs that were coming in. Not that THATS happened

As to my absence didntcha see the footer....I'm on a looong tour of the far east and Oceana. Whenever I get on the net I reply to my mail and then I found I had time for EITHER
A. Reading the US political pages
B. Messing around on uselectionatlas.

Of course I seriously considered doing the latter but since that would mean I get all my news from the esteemed and very impartial members of the forum I decided to take a pass on that.

I've just spent about a month in New Zealand...a place beautiful beyond belief.....a little too liberal though...had lots of arguements with lots of people. As to the war, U may as well be in San Francisco...a totally biased press too. Its like a liberals delight.

Aussies are on the whole much more reasonable...at least there are a variety of views on most subjects.....and a lot of genuine conservatives.

I've spent the last two days at the beach...magnificent surf (by which U need not assume I am a surfer....my usage of the great surf was nothing more demanding than boogie-boarding)

Now in a vain attempt to prove the UV rays in Australia (hole in ozone layer) have done no furthur damage to my already dubious intellect I shall put in my two cents on current affairs.

First the race for the democratic nomination is over and has been since Wisconsin at the latest. The kind of momentum which Kerry has picked up now cannot be stopped. He would have to do something like revesing his position on gay marriage yet again...this time declaring himself gay ......to put his nomination in jeopardy. I think even Edwards knows he is running to build his profile for the future not to win this race.

As to the Presidential race, it will be decided sooner than most think....in the next few months by July NOT in the months to follow. The reason is candidate definition. Bush is already defined in general voter consciousness for good or ill and he has reason to be unhappy with the result.(it could have been much better)
In the next few months is when Kerry will be defined (beyond the democratic primary electorate)
IF as the Bush campaign will attempt, Kerry becomes the stuckup vacillating Massachusetts liberal extremist or anything close....odds are Bush will win.

If he is able to define himself in a substantially more positive way then he has the advantage. IF (as I personaly expect) its a mixed impression just like Bush has given, its anybodies race (and MUCH MORE FUN for us)

Well thats it for now, I wil take my now customary weeks leave of absence but I expect to be on more frequently following that. I will be with family in India where there is a net connection.

Ciao,
Ryan.

[Gustaf]

Ryan still only posted once, but he's still alive

I hope he posts more....he did that the LAST time. We didn't see him for a while....and then he showed up one day and made ONE post.....and we never saw him again.

It also seems like a pretty odd post...did he comment on any of the interesting things that have been going on, such as the fall of Howard Dean, the fantasy elections, the fact that he was back, etc? No. He makes a post on the HUMOUR thread! The plot thickens...

I think Ryan has done it again.....his "hit and run technique.

He made ONE post that is now....what....nearly a week ago......and nothing else. He did the same thing a while back. If we're lucky....we'll be recieving one post from him every month.

All on the humour thread?

yup now U Know where my priorities lie

Thanks for the welcome guys...I see its still very much GUYS...more's the pity ...I didnt get a chance to read all thats being going on....just a few random posts... but it looks like its still a political junkie's paradise. I was afraid it would degenerate with all the nut jobs that were coming in. Not that THATS happened

As to my absence didntcha see the footer....I'm on a looong tour of the far east and Oceana. Whenever I get on the net I reply to my mail and then I found I had time for EITHER
A. Reading the US political pages
B. Messing around on uselectionatlas.

Of course I seriously considered doing the latter but since that would mean I get all my news from the esteemed and very impartial members of the forum I decided to take a pass on that.

I've just spent about a month in New Zealand...a place beautiful beyond belief.....a little too liberal though...had lots of arguements with lots of people. As to the war, U may as well be in San Francisco...a totally biased press too. Its like a liberals delight.

Aussies are on the whole much more reasonable...at least there are a variety of views on most subjects.....and a lot of genuine conservatives.

I've spent the last two days at the beach...magnificent surf (by which U need not assume I am a surfer....my usage of the great surf was nothing more demanding than boogie-boarding)

Now in a vain attempt to prove the UV rays in Australia (hole in ozone layer) have done no furthur damage to my already dubious intellect I shall put in my two cents on current affairs.

First the race for the democratic nomination is over and has been since Wisconsin at the latest. The kind of momentum which Kerry has picked up now cannot be stopped. He would have to do something like revesing his position on gay marriage yet again...this time declaring himself gay ......to put his nomination in jeopardy. I think even Edwards knows he is running to build his profile for the future not to win this race.

As to the Presidential race, it will be decided sooner than most think....in the next few months by July NOT in the months to follow. The reason is candidate definition. Bush is already defined in general voter consciousness for good or ill and he has reason to be unhappy with the result.(it could have been much better)
In the next few months is when Kerry will be defined (beyond the democratic primary electorate)
IF as the Bush campaign will attempt, Kerry becomes the stuckup vacillating Massachusetts liberal extremist or anything close....odds are Bush will win.

If he is able to define himself in a substantially more positive way then he has the advantage. IF (as I personaly expect) its a mixed impression just like Bush has given, its anybodies race (and MUCH MORE FUN for us)

Well thats it for now, I wil take my now customary weeks leave of absence but I expect to be on more frequently following that. I will be with family in India where there is a net connection.

Ciao,
Ryan.

This was not a funny post...

I agree, and I think the part about candidate defintion is very true, campaigns do less difference than people think, imo.

And a family in India...that explains the mystery of it all!

[MODU]

Here are some great (and funny) quotes about politics/government:

 I contend that for a nation to try to tax itself into prosperity is like a man standing in a bucket and trying to lift himself up by the handle.
.........Winston Churchill


 A government which robs Peter to pay Paul can always depend on the support of Paul.
..............George Bernard Shaw


 A liberal is someone who feels a great debt to his fellow man, which debt he proposes to pay off with your money.
.............G. Gordon Liddy


 Democracy must be something more than two wolves and a sheep voting on what to have for dinner.
.............James Bovard, Civil Libertarian (1994)


 Foreign aid might be defined as a transfer of money from poor people in rich countries to rich people in poor countries.
.......Douglas Casey, Classmate of Bill Clinton at Georgetown University


 Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys.
................P.J. O'Rourke, Civil Libertarian


 Government is the great fiction, through which everybody endeavors to live at the expense of everybody else.
...........Frederic Bastiat, French Economist (1801-1850)


 Government's view of the economy could be summed up in a few short phrases:
If it moves, tax it.
If it keeps moving, regulate it.
And if it stops moving, subsidize it.
..........Ronald Reagan (1986)


 I don't make jokes. I just watch the government and report the facts.
..............Will Rogers


 If you think health care is expensive now, wait until you see what it costs when it's free.
..........P.J. O'Rourke


 In general, the art of government consists of taking as much money as possible from one party of the citizens to give to the other.
.........Voltaire (1764)


 Just because you do not take an interest in politics doesn't mean politics won't take an interest in you.
..........Pericles (430 B.C.)


 No man's life, liberty, or property is safe while the legislature is in session.
.....Mark Twain (1866)


 Talk is cheap .. except when Congress does it.
......Unknown


 The government is like a baby's alimentary canal, with a happy appetite at one end and no responsibility at the other.
.........Ronald Reagan


 The inherent vice of capitalism is the unequal sharing of the blessings. The inherent blessing of socialism is the equal sharing of misery.
.......Winston Churchill


 The only difference between a tax man and a taxidermist is that the taxidermist leaves the skin.
......Mark Twain


 The ultimate result of shielding men from the effects of folly is to fill the world with fools.
........Herbert Spencer, English Philosopher (1820-1903)


 There is no distinctly native American criminal class...save Congress.
......Mark Twain


 What this country needs are more unemployed politicians.
........Edward Langley, Artist (1928 - 1995)


 A government big enough to give you everything you want, is strong enough to take everything you have.
.........Thomas Jefferson

 

[minionofmidas]

Ryan still only posted once, but he's still alive

I hope he posts more....he did that the LAST time. We didn't see him for a while....and then he showed up one day and made ONE post.....and we never saw him again.

It also seems like a pretty odd post...did he comment on any of the interesting things that have been going on, such as the fall of Howard Dean, the fantasy elections, the fact that he was back, etc? No. He makes a post on the HUMOUR thread! The plot thickens...

I think Ryan has done it again.....his "hit and run technique.

He made ONE post that is now....what....nearly a week ago......and nothing else. He did the same thing a while back. If we're lucky....we'll be recieving one post from him every month.

All on the humour thread?

yup now U Know where my priorities lie

Thanks for the welcome guys...I see its still very much GUYS...more's the pity ...I didnt get a chance to read all thats being going on....just a few random posts... but it looks like its still a political junkie's paradise. I was afraid it would degenerate with all the nut jobs that were coming in. Not that THATS happened

As to my absence didntcha see the footer....I'm on a looong tour of the far east and Oceana. Whenever I get on the net I reply to my mail and then I found I had time for EITHER
A. Reading the US political pages
B. Messing around on uselectionatlas.

Of course I seriously considered doing the latter but since that would mean I get all my news from the esteemed and very impartial members of the forum I decided to take a pass on that.

I've just spent about a month in New Zealand...a place beautiful beyond belief.....a little too liberal though...had lots of arguements with lots of people. As to the war, U may as well be in San Francisco...a totally biased press too. Its like a liberals delight.

Aussies are on the whole much more reasonable...at least there are a variety of views on most subjects.....and a lot of genuine conservatives.

I've spent the last two days at the beach...magnificent surf (by which U need not assume I am a surfer....my usage of the great surf was nothing more demanding than boogie-boarding)

Now in a vain attempt to prove the UV rays in Australia (hole in ozone layer) have done no furthur damage to my already dubious intellect I shall put in my two cents on current affairs.

First the race for the democratic nomination is over and has been since Wisconsin at the latest. The kind of momentum which Kerry has picked up now cannot be stopped. He would have to do something like revesing his position on gay marriage yet again...this time declaring himself gay ......to put his nomination in jeopardy. I think even Edwards knows he is running to build his profile for the future not to win this race.

As to the Presidential race, it will be decided sooner than most think....in the next few months by July NOT in the months to follow. The reason is candidate definition. Bush is already defined in general voter consciousness for good or ill and he has reason to be unhappy with the result.(it could have been much better)
In the next few months is when Kerry will be defined (beyond the democratic primary electorate)
IF as the Bush campaign will attempt, Kerry becomes the stuckup vacillating Massachusetts liberal extremist or anything close....odds are Bush will win.

If he is able to define himself in a substantially more positive way then he has the advantage. IF (as I personaly expect) its a mixed impression just like Bush has given, its anybodies race (and MUCH MORE FUN for us)

Well thats it for now, I wil take my now customary weeks leave of absence but I expect to be on more frequently following that. I will be with family in India where there is a net connection.

Ciao,
Ryan.

And that was the last we saw of him.

[Alcon]

I talked to Ryan last year, and he said he'd try to return, but it's been a long time since that happened.

[GMantis]

Putin awakes at night and sees the ghost of Joseph Stalin. He asks what he must do to improve Russia.
Stalin answers:
"Get rid of all democratic activists and paint the Kremlin green".
"Why green?" asks Putin.
"I know you wouldn't object to the first part"

[specific_name]

this is now a thread for jokes about Russian leaders. GO. (yes these are stolen )

Stalin wanted to find out what the people really thought of him, so he dressed up in peasant clothes and sneaked out of the Kremlin, and went to a workers' bar. He sat down and ordered a vodka, and turned to the guy next to him, and said, "So, what do you think of this guy Stalin?" The other guy blanched, looked quickly around to be sure nobody was listening, leaned in close and whispered , "Actually, I kind of like him."

---

Breshnev invited his mother to visit him in Moscow. First, he showed her his office, with the huge desk and thick carpets, and hundreds of aides scurrying about, and she said "Is nice, Leonid."

Then he took her to his Moscow apartment and showed her the many rooms, the televisions and stereos, and the personal staff waiting on his every need. And she said, "Is nice, Leonid.".

So he took her out to his dacha, and showed her the forest in which he could hunt and fish, and the automobiles he had in the converted barn. And she said, "Is nice, Leonid."

Frustrated, Breshnev said, "Mama, I've shown you my magnificent office, luxurious home, and beautiful country get-away home. And you can say nothing but 'Is nice, Leonid'! Aren't you proud of what I have accomplished?"

And she said, "Oh, Leonid, of course, I am proud of you. It's just that I am worried. What if the Communists come back?"

(note: all jokes about Russian leaders are unfunny)

[Bacon King]

What's the tallest building in Moscow?

The KGB headquarters. You can see Siberia from its basement.

[hawkeye59]

Bump, this is a very interesting topic.
Some more "You might be a Republican if" jokes
You might be a Republican if
You faxed a list of "Commies in my neighborhood" to the FBI.
When people say "Marx," you think "Groucho."
You've ever yelled, "Hey hippie, get a haircut."
You've ever said "civil liberties, schmivil schmiberties."
You've ever said "Clean air? Looks clean to me."
You've ever called education a luxury.
You wonder if donations to the Pentagon are tax-deductable.
You came of age in the '60s and don't remember Bob Dylan.
You own a vehicle with an "Ollie North: American Hero" sticker.
You're afraid of the liberal media."
You ever based an argument on the phrase, "Well, tradition dictates...."
You ever told a child that Oscar the Grouch "lives in a trash can because he is lazy and doesn't want to contribute to society."

[hawkeye59]

Lkewise, here's some "You might be a Democrat" jokes
You might be a Democrat if...
You own something that says, "Dukakis for President, " and still display it.
You've ever said, "We really should call the ACLU about this."
You believe that a few hundred loggers can find another career, but the defenseless spotted owl must live in its preferred tree.
You ever based an argument on the phrase, "But they can afford a tax hike because..."
You keep count of how many people you know in each racial or ethnic category.
You believe our government must do it because everyone in Europe does.
You can't talk about foreign policy without using the word conspiracy.
You think Ralph Nader makes a lot of sense. (Except for BRTD)
You don't understand why anyone was bothered by Jane's trip to Hanoi.
You think solar energy is being held back by those greedy oil companies.
You got teary-eyed during the film "The American President." (Note to Kalwejt: