New Senator Orientation

[Meeker]

Hello there Senator-elects, and welcome to the Atlasian Senate. My name's Meeker and I run this joint on a day-to-day basis. Follow me on our tour, but hold hands to make sure you don't get lost!

Here is the Atlasian Capitol:



We've been meaning to do some repair work, but unfortunately we spent the entire operating budget on letterhead, Stickie notes, and slushies. Our bad.



Inside you'll find your office. You're each given enough money for free letterhead and stickies of course, but also blue pens and lined paper (college rule). You also each get a personal legislative assistant. If you'll follow me, I think they're in the rotunda...



Earl, Colin, Afleitch, and Lewis, meet your assistants Crystal, Chastity, Rose, and Angel.

Rocky, meet Linda



You'll get to know them better once session begins. Now if you follow me, we're passing the White House on our right



I'm told it's very lovely on the inside

*A voice from the inside is faintly heard: Bats, bats! Why can't I get rid of all the bats in here!*

Aww, the President is playing with Fangy and Sucky. How precious



Moving right along here, we've now reached the Atlasian Senate Chambers



For the record, we do follow the "tap-tap, seat back" rule. Violation of it results in immediate expulsion from the body.

You come here to vote. Do it often. Also say things every once in a while so you give off the allusion that you're putting deep thought into the Legislation. If you want to introduce a bill, but it in this box



I don't really know what that ball is doing in there, feel free to move it. We post what happens here



Exciting, eh?


Well that's about it. If you have any questions about anything, feel free to ask me or a Senator who actually knows what they're doing.

[Hatman 🍁]

My, how the Senate has changed since I was last in it.

[Sam Spade]

Aren't the new Senators all old Senators?

[Meeker]

Aren't the new Senators all old Senators?

I don't believe Rocky is (thus his assignment of Linda).

[Hatman 🍁]

Aren't the new Senators all old Senators?

I don't believe Rocky is (thus his assignment of Linda).

You do know afleitch is gay, right? I'm thinking his assistant should be Linda.

[Meeker]

Aren't the new Senators all old Senators?

I don't believe Rocky is (thus his assignment of Linda).

You do know afleitch is gay, right? I'm thinking his assistant should be Linda.

Ah, that's true. He can have Linda if he wants, or Tyler the pool boy can get a promotion



Up to him, I just need to know where to send the check on the 15th.

[minionofmidas]

Hilarious. I will be much more ready to forgive any fuure errors by the PPT thanks to this post alone.

[Verily]

Meeker, you make me almost glad to be back

[Ebowed]

I put the ball in the box.  Leave it there.

[Small Business Owner of Any Repute]

Aren't the new Senators all old Senators?

I don't believe Rocky is (thus his assignment of Linda).

You do know afleitch is gay, right? I'm thinking his assistant should be Linda.

Ah, that's true. He can have Linda if he wants, or Tyler the pool boy can get a promotion

Up to him, I just need to know where to send the check on the 15th.

I must say I am very upset at Verily for never giving me my own staff to sexually harass. 

[Verily]

To make up for it, I'll donate you the use of Jon, who has applied for an internship:

[Robespierre's Jaw]

Aren't the new Senators all old Senators?

I don't believe Rocky is (thus his assignment of Linda).

On second thoughts, I'll pass.

[Bacon King]

Since I'm leaving in a few days, I hereby untap my handchair (the green one).