Rank the following hypothetical movies in expectation of quality

[I spent the winter writing songs about getting better]

From best to worst. Inspired by a comment in my other thread of course:

Written by opebo/directed by Straha
Written by BRTD/directed by Gully Foyle
Written by Gully Foyle/directed by BRTD
Written by The Mikado/directed by BRTD
Written by BRTD/directed by The Mikado
Written by jmfcst/directed by opebo
Written by opebo/directed by jmfcst
Written by Straha/directed by Joe Republic
Written by Robert Stark/directed by Eraserhead
Written by opebo/directed by Mike Naso
Written by Gully Foyle/directed by Mike Naso
Written by The Mikado/directed by Mike Naso
Written by BRTD/directed by Mike Naso

[The Mikado]

Can't rank from best to worst...too hard.  Will just take these case by case.

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The screenplay, a bizarre mixture of the depravity of Caligula and the subject matter of Doctor Zhivago, is treated lightly by the impish director.  A movie roughly on the lines of Ilsa: She-Wolf of the SS, but even more offensive.

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The script, involving 20something ne'erdowells and their ca-RAZY nights on the town, doesn't take well to Gully's old-fashioned style.  Gully changes the ending, and the movie ends with the whole cast learning that they have AIDS.

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Movie centers around the Troubles. Gerry Adams and Martin McGuiness are played by female strippers, Ian Paisley is the hero.

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Worst of the lot.  Don't even want to think about that.

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My constant question: "Can we get away with that," ends up being no more times than not.  20% of the script ends up cut.  Movie is both lame and tame.

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Twisted satire of the life of Christ.

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Dissolute left-wing atheist youth's adventures in Thailand change from comedy to tragedy/morality play.

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All the catchphrases delivered ironically, script's hero turned into unlikable antihero.

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Harold and Kumar Go To Tijuana

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Drunk, dissolute American's adventure in Thailand...in 1980!

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Depressing art film...in 1980!

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Tap dancing musical...with 80s music!  Starring John Travolta!

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A bunch of lame hipsters get high and go to clubs...in the 80s!  Bring out the blow!

[I spent the winter writing songs about getting better]

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The script, involving 20something ne'erdowells and their ca-RAZY nights on the town, doesn't take well to Gully's old-fashioned style.  Gully changes the ending, and the movie ends with the whole cast learning that they have AIDS.

Not too different probably from what my original ending would be though it'd be more like this probably:

*Kids sit around house drinking and having a good time*
Particularly depressed character sitting in a corner voiceover: Things are going quite good now. Very good. This is probably the perfect time then to end.
*crowd is oblivious as he pulls out a gun and sticks it in his mouth*
*screen goes black and credits roll*

Though I might also put that at the beginning possibly and have the rest of the movie be an out of order bunch of events that happened before.

[Tetro Kornbluth]

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Good God no!

The idea of me colaborating with BRTD or Mike Naso on anything else is just too depressing for words.

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I like it actually; perhaps it would be better as a musical?

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Probably a subtle satire on Reaganism taken from the point of view of a Reagan worshipper. The satire is rooted in its excessive, Naso takes it literally and shoots ala 80s style - adding to the satirical twise.

[I spent the winter writing songs about getting better]

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I like it actually; perhaps it would be better as a musical?

If written by me it'd be an emo musical however.

[The Mikado]

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Good God no!

Um, I meant BRTD would turn Paisley into the hero.  Given the fact that they have roughly the same opinion of Catholics.

[Sensei]

The Straha/Joe Republic one would be a winner.