Harry: How did Haley Barbour get elected governor of Mississippi?

[FerrisBueller86]

Before he was governor, Barbour was a TOBACCO lobbyist.  In other words, he didn't have to sell his soul to Satan.  He IS SATAN!!!

Yes, I know that tobacco is grown in the southern states, but parents and teachers are always working hard to educate their kids about the dangers of smoking.  I thought that avoiding smoking is one of the most important things all kids are supposed to learn, ranking right up there looking both ways before crossing the street, watching out for stranger danger, and avoiding dangerous drugs (nicotine as well as cocaine, crack, PCP, etc.).

Haley Barbour's job was to undo the work of parents and teachers.  The job of a tobacco lobbyist is to make the world as friendly as possible to the fortunes of the tobacco industry.  Tobacco lobbyists do this by making sure any tobacco-unfriendly measures (like using tobacco tax money to fund effective smoking cessation programs and putting the tobacco industry under FDA regulations) never see the light of day.

The ironic and infuriating thing about Barbour is that he loves to sermonize about "moral values" and being "pro-life", as if a glorified drug dealer has any business lecturing the people of Mississippi about morality or the sanctity of life.

Given all this, how did Barbour manage to get elected and re-elected?  No matter how conservative you are, you don't want your kids to become addicted to any drug, including nicotine.  This is something that transcends race, ethnicity, ideology, religion, etc. 

When you consider that tobacco addiction has affected and killed a disproportionate number of Southerners, people from the South have more reason than anyone else to hate the tobacco industry.  Instead of electing him governor, the people of Mississippi should have been tarring Barbour, feathering him, and running him out of the state on a rail.

It has been said that Barbour is on McBush's list of running mates.  I seriously doubt McBush is dumb enough to pick Barbour, but if he does, the Joe Camel connection needs to be highlighted relentlessly.  McBush could lose Utah and Idaho.  Remember that tobacco use is against the Mormon religion, so picking a tobacco lobbyist as his running mate would show Mormons that McBush doesn't give a hoot about their values.

[Sam Spade]

I hear that he got elected governor of Mississippi because he won an election for governor of Mississippi.  Though I could be wrong.

[Small Business Owner of Any Repute]

Before he was governor, Barbour was a TOBACCO lobbyist.  In other words, he didn't have to sell his soul to Satan.  He IS SATAN!!!

Yes, I know that tobacco is grown in the southern states, but parents and teachers are always working hard to educate their kids about the dangers of smoking.  I thought that avoiding smoking is one of the most important things all kids are supposed to learn, ranking right up there looking both ways before crossing the street, watching out for stranger danger, and avoiding dangerous drugs (nicotine as well as cocaine, crack, PCP, etc.).

Haley Barbour's job was to undo the work of parents and teachers.  The job of a tobacco lobbyist is to make the world as friendly as possible to the fortunes of the tobacco industry.  Tobacco lobbyists do this by making sure any tobacco-unfriendly measures (like using tobacco tax money to fund effective smoking cessation programs and putting the tobacco industry under FDA regulations) never see the light of day.

The ironic and infuriating thing about Barbour is that he loves to sermonize about "moral values" and being "pro-life", as if a glorified drug dealer has any business lecturing the people of Mississippi about morality or the sanctity of life.

Given all this, how did Barbour manage to get elected and re-elected?  No matter how conservative you are, you don't want your kids to become addicted to any drug, including nicotine.  This is something that transcends race, ethnicity, ideology, religion, etc. 

When you consider that tobacco addiction has affected and killed a disproportionate number of Southerners, people from the South have more reason than anyone else to hate the tobacco industry.  Instead of electing him governor, the people of Mississippi should have been tarring Barbour, feathering him, and running him out of the state on a rail.

It has been said that Barbour is on McBush's list of running mates.  I seriously doubt McBush is dumb enough to pick Barbour, but if he does, the Joe Camel connection needs to be highlighted relentlessly.  McBush could lose Utah and Idaho.  Remember that tobacco use is against the Mormon religion, so picking a tobacco lobbyist as his running mate would show Mormons that McBush doesn't give a hoot about their values.

Mississippi Republicans would like to cordially extend an invitation for you to head up the Mississippi Democratic Party, specifically as it pertains to crafting their legislative agenda and campaign platforms.

[Alcon]

I hear that he got elected governor of Mississippi because he won an election for governor of Mississippi.  Though I could be wrong.

You must be.  Clearly no tobacco lobbyist could be elected in any state ever.  Anyway, the historical unpopularity of tobaccos in Mississippi is well-documented.  Read a book.

[Small Business Owner of Any Repute]

I hear that he got elected governor of Mississippi because he won an election for governor of Mississippi.  Though I could be wrong.

You must be.  Clearly no tobacco lobbyist could be elected in any state ever.  Anyway, the historical unpopularity of tobaccos in Mississippi is well-documented.  Read a book.

Tobacco murders babies and results in dancing cartoon typewriters.  It's true cause I saw it on MTV inbetween Tila Tequila's lesbian makeout sessions.

[7,052,770]

Osama bin Laden is more likely to go to Heaven and tobacco executives are.

[Dan the Roman]

Osama bin Laden is more likely to go to Heaven and tobacco executives are.

But far less likely to be elected Governor of Mississippi.

[Fmr. Pres. Duke]

I love his accent. Maybe that's why he won!

[Stranger in a strange land]

I love his accent. Maybe that's why he won!

I think all the politicians in Mississippi talk like that.

And while tobacco lobbyists are unpopular in most of the country, they probably aren't in Mississippi.

[King]

Osama bin Laden is more likely to go to Heaven and tobacco executives are.

And tobacco executives are what? I am left in suspense once again, damnit!

[Bluegrass Cruiser 420]

Apparently they are supposed to be as bad, if not worse than Islamic terrorists.

[7,052,770]

Apparently they are supposed to be as bad, if not worse than Islamic terrorists.

Tobacco kills more Americans every 3 days than Al Qaeda ever has, so yes, they are.

[Franzl]

Apparently they are supposed to be as bad, if not worse than Islamic terrorists.

Tobacco kills more Americans every 3 days than Al Qaeda ever has, so yes, they are.

I do believe there is a small difference.

[YRABNNRM]

Apparently they are supposed to be as bad, if not worse than Islamic terrorists.

Tobacco kills more Americans every 3 days than Al Qaeda ever has, so yes, they are.

I'm pretty sure that the dangers of smoking are commonly known by now.