What do I need to know about Australia?

[Platypus]

Burger King is called Hungry Jacks.
Correct, although there was a brief flirtation with having both at once. It failed miserably.


Don't get involved in football clubs. You will be crushed by a bogan wielding a VB, and that's no good.
correct. Ish. League clubs, yes; and many aussie rules clubs. But it is an essential part of your stay that you pick a team and follow it, in at least one league. I recommend the Sydney Swans (AFL); ACT Brumbies (Union, although realistically NSW would make more sense) and maybe Manly in League)

There is a difference between gas and petrol, but no one knows what it actually is. So get petrol.
Wrong. Gas, LPG, is Liquid Petroleam Gas-basically cheaper, more efficient and a bit greener. If you can buy a car with dual-fuel (both LPG and Petrol) do; otherwise straight gas is best. Gasoline=Petroleum, btw.

Here is a brief, extremely incomplete, list of things they say and their American equivalent:

car park = parking lotyep
footpath = sidewalk yep
shopping trolley = shopping cart yep
serviette = napkin yep (although both are widely used)
tomato sauce = ketchup yep
lemonade = sprite / 7up / etc yep
chips = french fries yep
crisps = chips no, that's British. They're chips here too. Sometimes people distinguish between the two by using the terms 'hot chips and 'bag chips', especially the former.
New Zealand = funny accent Nuw Zillend es a great plice fe fush en chups.
American = "I bet you can't even tell me who our prime minister is!" yep along with "15% of Americans can't find the US on a map of the world!" and "Bible-bashing gun-grabbing death-penaltying wankers"
seppo = derogatory term for an American (it comes from rhyming slang, eventually, but that's a whole can of worms I can't begin to describe accurately) septic tank=yank; yank=anyone from the US

There's plenty more, of course, but I'm tired of that.


Be wary of roundabouts, if you plan to drive. They take some getting used to. And you'll be on the left side of the road and right side of the car, of course. yep. Basically, just always give way to the right at a roundabout. And be glad you won't have the trammed roundabouts of Melbourne or Hook turns. Other than that, Sydney's traffic and road system is a lot, lot worse so take the small mercies.

Toilets do not have handles, they have buttons. One usually is a light flush (for piss) and another is for a 'full' flush. And they will all be low flow. yep. Popular in areas with very little water: If it's brown, flush it down; if its yellow let it mellow". I don't let it mellow. Most of the time half-flush (~6L) is sufficient anyway. Oh, learn metric.

There's a long drought going on so there are lots of restrictions on what and when you can use water. It's worse during the summer, of course, and it depends where you're going. yep. No hosing down driveways or cars, can only water garden on certain days, not supposed to take showers more than 5 mins and certainly not for more than 10, etc.

That's all I can be bothered to think of. Have fun

Also...

TRAVEL. Sydney is OK, but you've got Tasmania, the Daintree and Great Barrier Reef, Melbourne, Kakadu, Perth, the Surf Coast and Great Ocean Road, New Zealand, the high country and a huge f-off rock in the middle of a huge f-off desert to see. And Canberra, but only if you're desperate or like Gum trees and concrete.

YOU DON'T ROOT FOR A TEAM, unless they are all very attractive and slutty.

DON'T PRAISE ANY POLITICIAN. Ever. Full Stop (period).

LEARN TO LOVE FISH AND CHIPS and forget McDonald's.

Also, Australia's culture is very much one that ties in with the rest of the Anglosphere. We're about 1/3 British, 1/3 American and the rest a mix of Indigenous, Continental European and Asian, with a little Middle Eastern, African and even a smidge of Latin American.

GET IN TO AUSSIE MUSIC, a lot of it is remarkably good considering our size. I personally recommend Triple J, of course, but whatever.

CRICKET IS YOUR FRIEND, but only when you're bored, drunk or preferably both.

SWIM somewhere on the Coast. South Coast NSW is probably the easiest to get to.

CONVICTS settled Sydney. That's why Melbourne is a much nicer city and if you can transfer, do.
Anything else?

[Platypus]

Melbourne of course being founded by uptight, self-righteous windbags.

With a perchant for easy-to-navigate street layouts and sewage.

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If you want to have fun, go to Sydney...for a weekend. If you want to have fun, go to Melbourne for a weekend.

If you want to have a better lifestyle in a nicer city with deeper cultural and sporting heritage, a booming city with a great economy, go to Melbourne...unless you prefer hyper-expensive, poseur cities in which if you don't live on the water you aren't even a consideration. Then, go for Sydney, just make sure those sunglasses cost at least $350.

[Platypus]

There might be...I know there is one in Canberra

They're not popular.

[Platypus]

You'd be better off finding a place to erect a hill's hoist to dry your clothes. Dryers are barbaric, you see.

Hill's Hoist = Australian invention.

The Internets = American invention.

Shows how our national mindsets work.

Australian: Strewth, my wife looks tired. I'll help her our with a rotary clothesline that can be extended from the ground!

American: Gee whiz, my wife looks tired. Where can I get some free porn?

[Platypus]

Do you want to know a dirty secret? It was invented by an American, but an Aussie beat him to the patent.

[Platypus]

On the plus side, we DID invent vegemite.

Even if Kraft now owns it.

[Platypus]

Sorry, mate, we just don't seem to use the old laundromats all that much.

By the way, did you watch the Australia vs NZ match tonight?

Wrong sport.

Australia v. Ireland was a thriller though! 1 point...sigh. Next game should be a corker.

[Platypus]

All you need to know is that Australians are descended from kangaroos.
This isn't true, but imagining it to be makes following their elections more fun.

I usually go with hardcore stereotyping. Everyone north of Gosford is a total bogan (redneck, chav, whatever...ish); everyone in the suburbs drives a 4WD, and everyone in Tasmania thinks slooooooowly and often forgets to talk.


Western Australians are just ing irritating.