Comedy Goldmine VII: Straight-to-DVD Christmas Special

[© tweed]

http://marcambinder.theatlantic.com/archives/2008/08/cbs_palins_parents_told_to_wai.php

You must be logged in to read this quote.

Baby #6.

[© tweed]

he smokes about a pack a day.

false

No, it's true.  I ran into him at the mosque this morning and invited him over for a drink or two, but he declined.  You know, he's pretty observant about the faith.  Inshallah.  But he did burn a big fat joint with me, and after we finished it, he lit up a Marlboro.  Then, before we parted company, he'd finished that first Marlboro and just before it went out he lit a second one from the dying cherry of the first.

[© tweed]

i kissed a girl and i liked it

[© tweed]

The poll is not conducted for Fox News, dipsh*t.

[© tweed]

in a topic about Helen Keller

When you live through so much hardship, socialism sounds like perfection.

It didn't sound like anything to her.

[© tweed]

Fairly large number of undecided voters and M-D doesn't push them.

And why would undecided overwhelmingly favor McCain?

J.J.'s Sixth Rule of Elections

[© tweed]

old-school

1,2,3... 3 on older kids, but not like punching them in there face, but a little pop in on there lips or something like that.

Also young child tend to learn what is right and wrong to do from "pain." For say the "Don't touch the stove when it is one whole deal." So a nice good pops on the butt will help the understand that is wrong and if they don't want them again most likely they won't do it, or at least try not to.

[© tweed]

all of ghostmonkey's posts in the debate running commentary thread deserve a mention.

something that deserves a mention about him - about two weeks ago, he edited around 30 of his oldest posts to "....."  which raises some questions.  my guess is that he was attempting to cover up his pro-Obama, anti-Hillary persona as it completely shreds any illusion of legitimacy he may have.

[© tweed]

Ladies and gentlemen, yet another modern day Romeo and Juliet on our forum!

you wish. not gonna happen.

     Unfortunately for me.

you will find someone.

forum is too weirdddd sometimes

[© tweed]

I, on the other hand, am going as an investment banker.

[© tweed]

I urge everyone to boycott Bill Maher's new movie Religuolous.  This movie boldly makes fun of Christians and Christ Himself.  This is a slap in the face to all who believe in Jesus as Lord and Savior, and is also a slap in the face of any decent person, of any religion or non-religion.

This is a travesty and a pity.  I urge everybody to stand up and bankrupt this horrible film.

How can Bill Maher stoop so low as to slap all Christians in the face and worse, yet, slap his Creator in the face?

[© tweed]

This is still happening. No updates for today or yesterday because I was working 10-hour shifts both days, and visited a strip club last night where I got a handjob from a stripper without even asking for it (no lie). Unfortunately I also received a minor head injury giving me a small concussion that night as well, meaning I'm probably going to require a little more sleep than normal the next week or so.

I just found the juxtaposition to be classic

[© tweed]

Been done before, but here's mine:

Secretary of State - Reverend Wright
Secretary of Defense - Malia Obama
Secretary of Treasury - Sascha Obama
Attorney General - Al Sharpton
Secretary of Agriculture - Wavy Gravy
Secretary of Commerce - Joe the Plumber
Secretary of Education -   Bill Ayers
Secretary of Energy - That Black Panther guy with the nightstick in Phillie
Secretary of Health & Human Services -
Secretary of Homeland Security - Noam Chomsky
Secretary of Housing & Urban Development - John McCain
Secretary of the Interior - Tony Rezko
Secretary of Labor - Ken Kesey
Secretary of Transportation - Chris Rock
Secretary of Veterans Affairs - Barbara Streisand

the Dropkick Murphy's of Floggy molly?

[© tweed]

Ever since I was a little boy, everyone told me that I could never become Vice-President.  But now Joe Biden showed me that I can.