Comedy Goldmine VII: Straight-to-DVD Christmas Special

[Хahar 🤔]

Gotta give credit where credit is due:

The Democratic party needs steadier, more consistent leadership. I nominate the rooster.

Aye, that was a good one.

[Хahar 🤔]

Funny retrospectively:

john mccain

Click for context.

[Хahar 🤔]

Funny retrospectively:

john mccain

Click for context.

Good god.  Two-a-days and you still have time to read threads from over two years ago?

We got half the day off today. Nothing tomorrow, either.

What's funny is that Walter is even considering McCain.

[Хahar 🤔]

     Oh! Can I start the next goldmine when this one closes?

If you're lucky. I've never been able to, and I remember when there were only three.

[Хahar 🤔]

     Oh! Can I start the next goldmine when this one closes?

If you're lucky. I've never been able to, and I remember when there were only three.

And I remember when there was one that started for the new year in 2006 and last a long, long time until BRTD invaded it and it became the "No BRTD Allowed" comedy goldmine.  I'm sure you've read it many times Xahar

I have in fact come upon it.

[Хahar 🤔]

brtd, can you give us an update on the status of this flag plz?

hopefully the enlightened minnesotans (mankato state grads, in particular) havent returned this artifact to the goddamned racist, backwards hicks.

Shut up about my state, Mitty.

[Хahar 🤔]

I can just see Xahar tomorrow.  Right before the snap, he hears the phone of the guy on the defensive line opposite him.  "A text," he thinks, "Obama's picked his VP!"  "Hut!"  Cries the QB, and Xahar lunges for the guy on the defensive line, pushes him down, ignores the ref, ignores the whistle, grabs into the guys uniform, pulls out the phone, sees the text from 62262, opens it up, cries, "Obama picked..."  "WHAM!"

I wish I hadn't been eating when I read that.

[Хahar 🤔]

Lief is just adam's latest account. I thought that was fairly obvious. But I like this version of adam best, so I'm glad he's stuck with it.

Lief's for real, methinks.

[Хahar 🤔]

FLASH!  Breaking News!!!!  CNN goes to commercial! Big Annoncement from GEICO Caveman!!

1. Aug. 20, 3:48am....CNN breaks away from regularly scheduled programing, and broadcasts an advertisement for Geico car insurance featuring a caveman.

2. It was implied in the commercial that Geico is "so easy even a caveman could do it".

3. CNN broadcast footage of a caveman stating that the the slogan "so easy even a caveman could do it" is offensive to him and his family.

4. CNN quickly returned to regular programming, but periodically broke away to repeat an identical message from the caveman in subsequent hours.

5. It was unclear whether there was any relationship between the Geico caveman and Geico's popular talking gecko.

This suggests that Obama is in serious trouble, because his campaign message is as elitist and condescending to working class voters as Geico's attitude towards cavemen is.

I said months ago that Obama's elitism would come back to bite him, and I've now been proven correct.

This also indicates that McCain might be able to exploit Obama's weaknesses among ordinary Americans by picking Romney as his running mate, because Romney grew up in Michigan, which makes cars, and Geico is a car insurance company.

I now have to go make a thread about the implications of the Mac/PC commercial for the candidates' websites, as well as a thread about whether Wolf Blitzer's sneeze suggests that he's allergic to reporting on prospective vice presidential nominees not named Mitt Romney.

Amusingly, Winfield has now deleted the thread.  (Or maybe it was just a mod who deleted it?)  In any case, the post is funnier if you read Winfield's post that I was parodying, but unfortunately that post has been lost into the ether.

What'd it say?

[Хahar 🤔]

FLASH!  Breaking News!!!!  CNN goes to commercial! Big Annoncement from GEICO Caveman!!

1. Aug. 20, 3:48am....CNN breaks away from regularly scheduled programing, and broadcasts an advertisement for Geico car insurance featuring a caveman.

2. It was implied in the commercial that Geico is "so easy even a caveman could do it".

3. CNN broadcast footage of a caveman stating that the the slogan "so easy even a caveman could do it" is offensive to him and his family.

4. CNN quickly returned to regular programming, but periodically broke away to repeat an identical message from the caveman in subsequent hours.

5. It was unclear whether there was any relationship between the Geico caveman and Geico's popular talking gecko.

This suggests that Obama is in serious trouble, because his campaign message is as elitist and condescending to working class voters as Geico's attitude towards cavemen is.

I said months ago that Obama's elitism would come back to bite him, and I've now been proven correct.

This also indicates that McCain might be able to exploit Obama's weaknesses among ordinary Americans by picking Romney as his running mate, because Romney grew up in Michigan, which makes cars, and Geico is a car insurance company.

I now have to go make a thread about the implications of the Mac/PC commercial for the candidates' websites, as well as a thread about whether Wolf Blitzer's sneeze suggests that he's allergic to reporting on prospective vice presidential nominees not named Mitt Romney.

Amusingly, Winfield has now deleted the thread.  (Or maybe it was just a mod who deleted it?)  In any case, the post is funnier if you read Winfield's post that I was parodying, but unfortunately that post has been lost into the ether.

What'd it say?

It was a thread titled something like "Flash! Breaking News!  David Gergen on CNN says <such and such>".  Except, instead of "<such and such>", it was some statement made by David Gergen about how Obama is in trouble for some reason that I can't remember (an argument that Winfield outlined in numbered bullet points), and then Winfield goes on to explain how McCain might be able to exploit this weakness in Obama's campaign by picking Romney as his running mate.

My post was nearly a point-for-point parody of Winfield's original post, and generally a parody of his inclination to post threads with titles like "Breaking News!!!" every time a commentator on CNN opens his or her mouth about the presidential campaign (so long as there is some connection to Romney).

Winfield is amusing that way.
Lief's stayed consistent in his politics.

[Хahar 🤔]

BWWAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!

Obama couldn't have picked a better VP.... to hand McCain the Election!!!!!

[Хahar 🤔]

February 30th, 9:00 PM, President Johnson addresses the nation from the white house. The speech opens a new plan for the peace aggreement in the Vietnam War. The President talks about the history of the country and vietnam. He minchens Kennedy and Eisenhower and what they did with Vietnam. He asks the country to come together and support this peace package.

As he gets to the end of the speech, he knows that it is time to talk about the election. President Johnson ends his speech with the following...

"With America's sons in the fields far away, with America's future under possible attack by a country far away, with America's hope and future in jeporady more every day, I do not think that I should spend an hour or a day of my time to any personal partisan causes or to any duties other to this office-the Presidency of your country. Therefore, I shall not seek and I will not accept the nomination of my party for another term as your President."

My word...he can get any worse?!?

You're clearly unfamiliar with "ReaganRepublican Campaign HQ". All of the threads have been deleted, I think.

[Хahar 🤔]

February 30th, 9:00 PM, President Johnson addresses the nation from the white house. The speech opens a new plan for the peace aggreement in the Vietnam War. The President talks about the history of the country and vietnam. He minchens Kennedy and Eisenhower and what they did with Vietnam. He asks the country to come together and support this peace package.

As he gets to the end of the speech, he knows that it is time to talk about the election. President Johnson ends his speech with the following...

"With America's sons in the fields far away, with America's future under possible attack by a country far away, with America's hope and future in jeporady more every day, I do not think that I should spend an hour or a day of my time to any personal partisan causes or to any duties other to this office-the Presidency of your country. Therefore, I shall not seek and I will not accept the nomination of my party for another term as your President."

My word...he can get any worse?!?

You're clearly unfamiliar with "ReaganRepublican Campaign HQ". All of the threads have been deleted, I think.

Oh no, I'm very well aware of that comical thread. His policy on Affirmative Action still cracks me up!

Come on - I think dating something February 30th is about as special as one can get. 

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/February_30

Of course, he doesn't use Wikipedia.

[Хahar 🤔]

I see you've caught on to the fact I somethimes give up on these things half....

Of course, I can hardly complain as I have a hab...

[Хahar 🤔]

This women are stupid

LOL!

This quote deserves it's own thread.  A shrine post to Josh22.

Still, if you look at the thread, he was eminently correct in terms of content and meaning, if not grammar.

Certainly, but it was quite obvious.

[Хahar 🤔]

Bush is so unpopular that if he became and undertaker folks would stop dying.

[Хahar 🤔]

That's absurd (of course, so if anything about voter fraud regarding the Kennedy family).

Even funnier:

And there wasn't voter fraud in 1960.

[Хahar 🤔]

I can see Obama turning into a Jimmy Carter like figure after his first term.  I not trying to be a hack, but I just can't see prosperity in our country with his policy proposals.

That being said, I really don't know how he would do in his reelection run.

None of us do, but if he raises taxes on the rich and doubles the taxes on capital, we are in for a major recession or depression. He'll destroy our economy by doing that during an economic downturn. That's how the Great Depression came into being. They tried to balance the budget during a recession by raising taxes.

[Хahar 🤔]

I can see Obama turning into a Jimmy Carter like figure after his first term.  I not trying to be a hack, but I just can't see prosperity in our country with his policy proposals.

That being said, I really don't know how he would do in his reelection run.

None of us do, but if he raises taxes on the rich and doubles the taxes on capital, we are in for a major recession or depression. He'll destroy our economy by doing that during an economic downturn. That's how the Great Depression came into being. They tried to balance the budget during a recession by raising taxes.

How is that Comedy? Do you not understand economics? Perhaps that's what's so comical about this.

[Хahar 🤔]

I can see Obama turning into a Jimmy Carter like figure after his first term.  I not trying to be a hack, but I just can't see prosperity in our country with his policy proposals.

That being said, I really don't know how he would do in his reelection run.

None of us do, but if he raises taxes on the rich and doubles the taxes on capital, we are in for a major recession or depression. He'll destroy our economy by doing that during an economic downturn. That's how the Great Depression came into being. They tried to balance the budget during a recession by raising taxes.

How is that Comedy? Do you not understand economics? Perhaps that's what's so comical about this.

Seriously, Xahar, take a course on economics before you make a fool out of yourself like this. Duke is 100% correct.

This is actually just as funny.

[Хahar 🤔]

Click for context:

Reagan wins in a landslide.

Reagan was only elected Governor of California in 1966, so yes your map is pure fantasy.

[Хahar 🤔]

Hey, at least he's consistent.

Consistently wrong!

[ba-dum-tssh]

[Хahar 🤔]

First option, only because the convention's name wasn't jacked from a French political party.

Not that nicking French political party names is a bad thing....

but I'd much rather attend Ron Paul's "French Section of the Workers' International" than his "Rally for the Republic".

[Хahar 🤔]

Yes, because Bush never did anything to fight AIDs in Africa.

Click for context (or lack thereof).

[Хahar 🤔]

Polnut/Sebellius - 307EV - 50.7%
McCain/Palin - 231EV - 47.3%
Others -  2%%

I ended losing VT! but won FL, IN, OH!!!

     How on earth did you lose Maryland?

Polnut/Sebellius - 307EV - 50.7%
McCain/Palin - 231EV - 47.3%
Others -  2%%

I ended losing VT! but won FL, IN, OH!!!

     You lost MD? How?