Your First Day As President

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disband the government via executive order

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-pardon nearly every federal criminal (except select 'white collar' criminals)

-close nearly every military base, abroad and otherwise

-end executive enforcement of vast majority of laws

-issue Exec Order that states the Mets and Jets will be invited to the White House every year, instead of the the respective MLB and NFL champions, despite however good or bad they prove to be

-announce I'm moving the Capitol to St Thomas, US Virgin Islands effective February 15

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also announce support for majority of federal budget to be paid to blacks and Native Americans in the form of reparations.  announce FLDS as the unofficial State religion.