What should I do???

[Joe Biden 2020]

My facebook page changed this morning.  I put on there this morning that I'm voting for John McCain.  In all seriousness, I am voting for Barack Obama.  The reason I have McCain on my facebook page is I have been on the receiving end of vicious attacks from my own brother and other staunch conservatives for supporting Obama.  So, to save face and to save my relationship with them, I told them I'm voting for McCain.

So, basically, I'm lying, because I'm afraid of publicly announcing my vote for Obama in the midst of a VERY conservative family that frankly drives me nuts with their conservatism.  The only person in my family who knows I'm voting for Obama is my mother.  She's a McCain supporter, but she sees my points of view and because of her motherly love, is not pounding McCain into my head.  I think Dad knows, but my brother who lives in Jacksonville, FL now thinks I'm voting for McCain because of my facebook.

I know that sounds childish, but frankly, I'm afraid.  I don't want to disappoint my family, yet I want to uphold my beliefs, at the same time.  What should I do.  I know who I'm voting for, but what should I do about my facebook page?

[Alcon]

I'd tell them honestly, you've made me feel intimidated, family shouldn't do that to other family, and if you care about me you'll back off.  If they don't, I'd officially say that you are making your politics a private matter, and any civil person (let alone family) would respect that.  Both also have the benefit of being true.

Sorry they're mistreating you.

[JSojourner]

You're 26.  Tell them to sod off.  Who you vote for is none of their business.  If they can't discuss politics politely, the subject is completely off limits.

I have left more than one family gathering for this very reason.  The understanding we have is -- I will gladly discuss my political views with anyone in my family who wants to know.  But I won't bring it up.  If they bring it up, and fail to be courteous or Christian about it (we are a Christian family), then we leave.  (I am not talking about honest disagreement.  I am talking about when they suggest I am possessed by a demon or that if I just gave my life to Jesus and joined a fundamentalist church, I would be wise to the devil's schemes, etc. They are more than free to disagree with me -- I just expect them to be sane.)

It's like this.  If they feel sick to their stomach, I will pray for them...nurse them back to health...take them to the doctor and hold their head while they vomit.  That's what family does.  What I will NOT do is let them vomit all over me.

And in the case of my conservative, fundamentalist Christian family...that's what they often do.  I am sure the opposite is often true for decent conservative Republicans who are in relationship with liberals.  Either way, it's not to be permitted.

You are in control.

[Dr. Cynic]

My facebook page changed this morning.  I put on there this morning that I'm voting for John McCain.  In all seriousness, I am voting for Barack Obama.  The reason I have McCain on my facebook page is I have been on the receiving end of vicious attacks from my own brother and other staunch conservatives for supporting Obama.  So, to save face and to save my relationship with them, I told them I'm voting for McCain.

So, basically, I'm lying, because I'm afraid of publicly announcing my vote for Obama in the midst of a VERY conservative family that frankly drives me nuts with their conservatism.  The only person in my family who knows I'm voting for Obama is my mother.  She's a McCain supporter, but she sees my points of view and because of her motherly love, is not pounding McCain into my head.  I think Dad knows, but my brother who lives in Jacksonville, FL now thinks I'm voting for McCain because of my facebook.

I know that sounds childish, but frankly, I'm afraid.  I don't want to disappoint my family, yet I want to uphold my beliefs, at the same time.  What should I do.  I know who I'm voting for, but what should I do about my facebook page?

Get some guts, get up off your ass, and stand tall for yourself.

If you were a McCain supporter with an Obama supporting family I would tell you the same thing.

[Torie]

Maybe you should write a carefully composed letter to them all. That is what my Dad did to me, when he thought I was going off track. He wanted to say what he said, in a careful and thoughtful way, and knew writing would force him to compose his thoughts. My Dad was a very wise man.

Only you can decide how candid to be with your family and relatives. It is too fact specific to give generalized advice I think.

By the way, in my clan, one sought out opportunities to disagree and shock. Generating a good argument was job one! 

[dead0man]

Grow a pair!

(says the guy that still won't smoke in front of his parents and sneaks around to do it when at his parents house...but at least they know I'm a libertarian!)

[Hash]

Just tell them. That you're old enough to decide on your own and tell them to mind their own business.

[perdedor]

I agree with the general consensus, point your finger square in their face and say 'piss off!'. This is a free country and no family worth even the most minimal fraction of a sh!t would be shunning it's members for their political preferences.