To those that know about my "situation"...

[Swing low, sweet chariot. Comin' for to carry me home.]

Lesson Number One Concerning Girls:  Girls want what they can't get.  Remember the story of Eve?

You may need to use a decoy.

[Keystone Phil]

Lesson Number One Concerning Girls:  Girls want what they can't get.  Remember the story of Eve?

You may need to use a decoy.

An apple, perhaps?

[Swing low, sweet chariot. Comin' for to carry me home.]

Lesson Number One Concerning Girls:  Girls want what they can't get.  Remember the story of Eve?

You may need to use a decoy.

An apple, perhaps?

no, another chick

[Keystone Phil]

Lesson Number One Concerning Girls:  Girls want what they can't get.  Remember the story of Eve?

You may need to use a decoy.

An apple, perhaps?

no, another chick

Yeah, that's not going to work here.

Too many of these girls seem so wrapped up in whatever they're doing so it seems impossible to really grab her attention.

[Swing low, sweet chariot. Comin' for to carry me home.]

Lesson Number One Concerning Girls:  Girls want what they can't get.  Remember the story of Eve?

You may need to use a decoy.

An apple, perhaps?

no, another chick

Yeah, that's not going to work here.

Too many of these girls seem so wrapped up in whatever they're doing so it seems impossible to really grab her attention.

women notice other women....a hotter girl thinking you're worth the effort will grab her attention.  Remember how the Serpent convinced Eve the fruit was desirable and made Eve desire it herself?

[Keystone Phil]

Lesson Number One Concerning Girls:  Girls want what they can't get.  Remember the story of Eve?

You may need to use a decoy.

An apple, perhaps?

no, another chick

Yeah, that's not going to work here.

Too many of these girls seem so wrapped up in whatever they're doing so it seems impossible to really grab her attention.

women notice other women....a hotter girl thinking you're worth the effort will grab her attention.  Remember how the Serpent convinced Eve the fruit was desirable and made Eve desire it herself?

Can you explain to me how the hell I am supposed to get a "hotter" girl to go along with this when I can't even get the girl I want?

[Fmr. Pres. Duke]

Tell her you are organizing a geological field trip and invite her to go along with you. Just don't tell her you two are the only ones going!

[Keystone Phil]

Tell her you are organizing a geological field trip and invite her to go along with you. Just don't tell her you two are the only ones going!

...

Ok, good advice only, guys.

[Swing low, sweet chariot. Comin' for to carry me home.]

Lesson Number One Concerning Girls:  Girls want what they can't get.  Remember the story of Eve?

You may need to use a decoy.

An apple, perhaps?

no, another chick

Yeah, that's not going to work here.

Too many of these girls seem so wrapped up in whatever they're doing so it seems impossible to really grab her attention.

women notice other women....a hotter girl thinking you're worth the effort will grab her attention.  Remember how the Serpent convinced Eve the fruit was desirable and made Eve desire it herself?

Can you explain to me how the hell I am supposed to get a "hotter" girl to go along with this when I can't even get the girl I want?

Hey, I once used a freshly minted Ms. Teen Houston as a decoy on a group date to nab a chick's attention, whom I ended up marrying.

for the cheap route, rent the Seinfeld episode "The Bizarro Jerry" and pay attention to George's ploy...

or, if you have cash to burn, rent the movie "Can't Buy Me Love" (1987)

[Keystone Phil]

for the cheap route, rent the Seinfeld episode "The Bizarro Jerry" and pay attention to George's ploy...

Oh, God. Seinfeld...

I think I'll just give up for a few years.

[Swing low, sweet chariot. Comin' for to carry me home.]

for the cheap route, rent the Seinfeld episode "The Bizarro Jerry" and pay attention to George's ploy...

Oh, God. Seinfeld...

I think I'll just give up for a few years.

no, no, no...Seinfeld boils life's hard/cold facts down into simple comic morsels.  George's not-so-hot  fiancee Susan has recently died, so George uses a picture of a hot girl (not a picture of Susan) and shows other hot girls the picture as he "mourns" his late fiancee.  The hot women find George desirable simply because they believe another hot girl did.

...same basic story in "Can't Buy Me Love".  The main character pays the head cheerleader $1000  to pretend to date him, making all the other girls in the school want him.

Now, granted I had an easier time with Ms. Teen Houston, whom I met in a gym and who actually wanted me.  So, it was easy to allow her to sport me around for a while as I worked on my main target, my wife.

But the difficulty level is all relative, so don't feel bad that you don't have a Ms. Teen Houston handy to use.   Women, in their crudest form, are followers of other women, so the ploy works.

[Keystone Phil]

But the difficulty level is all relative, so don't feel bad that you don't have a Ms. Teen Houston handy to use.   Women, in their crudest form, are followers of other women, so the ploy works.

But you still had someone that...you know...wanted you. That's the obstacle I'm trying to overcome. 

[Swing low, sweet chariot. Comin' for to carry me home.]

But the difficulty level is all relative, so don't feel bad that you don't have a Ms. Teen Houston handy to use.   Women, in their crudest form, are followers of other women, so the ploy works.

But you still had someone that...you know...wanted you. That's the obstacle I'm trying to overcome. 

that's why I brought up the Seinfeld episode and the movie....you've got to pay closer attention to what I'm posting.

[Keystone Phil]

But the difficulty level is all relative, so don't feel bad that you don't have a Ms. Teen Houston handy to use.   Women, in their crudest form, are followers of other women, so the ploy works.

But you still had someone that...you know...wanted you. That's the obstacle I'm trying to overcome. 

that's why I brought up the Seinfeld episode and the movie....you've got to pay closer attention to what I'm posting.

And you have to pay closer attention to what I posted. "Oh, God..." means "I dislike Seinfeld." 

[Sam Spade]

I love how Phil manages to turn everything into an argument, even when jmfcst is giving him so pretty solid advice.

[Keystone Phil]

I love how Phil manages to turn everything into an argument, even when jmfcst is giving him so pretty solid advice.

...

I was simply stating that I don't like Seinfeld. 

But, yeah, I'll take jm's advice, find Ms. Teen Philadelphia and have her somehow attract this other girl for me. 

[Fmr. Pres. Duke]

I love how Phil manages to turn everything into an argument, even when jmfcst is giving him so pretty solid advice.

...

I was simply stating that I don't like Seinfeld. 

But, yeah, I'll take jm's advice, find Ms. Teen Philadelphia and have her somehow attract this other girl for me. 

If worst comes to worst, ask one of your girl friends to pretend to be your date somewhere and go from there. Whatever it takes, right?

[Smid]

Girls like confident guys. No girls ever paid me any attention until my fiancee, who was back in Canada at that time and waiting for her Skilled Worker's Visa to be approved. After that I had a few girls interested, and I had a reliable number of female friends who I could take out to events as "just friends" (and for once it was me giving the "just friends" talk). Once you're taken, girls suddenly get interested because you're more likely to be more confident and relaxed and not just trying to impress them and also because they want what they can't have (and since you're off the market...). So yeah, what the other guys say is pretty good advice.

[Keystone Phil]

I love how Phil manages to turn everything into an argument, even when jmfcst is giving him so pretty solid advice.

...

I was simply stating that I don't like Seinfeld. 

But, yeah, I'll take jm's advice, find Ms. Teen Philadelphia and have her somehow attract this other girl for me. 

If worst comes to worst, ask one of your girl friends to pretend to be your date somewhere and go from there. Whatever it takes, right?

Guys, that doesn't do anything for me. I only see this girl in class so taking one of my girl friends "out on a date" isn't going to be noticed. 

Girls like confident guys. No girls ever paid me any attention until my fiancee, who was back in Canada at that time and waiting for her Skilled Worker's Visa to be approved. After that I had a few girls interested, and I had a reliable number of female friends who I could take out to events as "just friends" (and for once it was me giving the "just friends" talk). Once you're taken, girls suddenly get interested because you're more likely to be more confident and relaxed and not just trying to impress them and also because they want what they can't have (and since you're off the market...). So yeah, what the other guys say is pretty good advice.

Yeah, I know, I'm just saying that the plans that have been suggested don't work. I see this girl in lab so I can't just parade some other girl around to help me show off.

[Rowan]

Why don't you just sit next to her in class?

[Ban my account ffs!]

Phil, you could always go hang out at a rural bar... ya know... attract those middle aged women with the beer guts and smokers baritone with the bar hair (you know.. froofy on top and long and likely crimped on the sides).

[Keystone Phil]

Why don't you just sit next to her in class?

Read my update from the other day. I lay out what happened regarding seating.

Phil, you could always go hang out at a rural bar... ya know... attract those middle aged women with the beer guts and smokers baritone with the bar hair (you know.. froofy on top and long and likely crimped on the sides).

...

Again, good advice only, please. 

[Ban my account ffs!]

Why don't you just sit next to her in class?

Read my update from the other day. I lay out what happened regarding seating.

Phil, you could always go hang out at a rural bar... ya know... attract those middle aged women with the beer guts and smokers baritone with the bar hair (you know.. froofy on top and long and likely crimped on the sides).

...

Again, good advice only, please. 

Hey.. I'm just trying to help.

Watch.. Phil is gonna end up with some girl that has close ties to the Philadelphia Democratic machine.

[Keystone Phil]

Watch.. Phil is gonna end up with some girl that has close ties to the Philadelphia Democratic machine.

We've been over that my ex-girlfriend was a self proclaimed socialist, who frequently volunteered on Democratic campaigns, correct?

[Sensei]

Watch.. Phil is gonna end up with some girl that has close ties to the Philadelphia Democratic machine.

We've been over that my ex-girlfriend was a self proclaimed socialist, who frequently volunteered on Democratic campaigns, correct?

and my longest-tenured girlfriend was a Jesus nut. These things happen, eh Phil?