Happy Chanukah!

[Senator Ben]

That's right, the Festival of Lights has begun!  So go get your yarmulke, because it's Chanulkah!

[Senator Ben]

Put on your yarmulke
Here comes chanukah
So much funukah
To celebrate chanukah
Chanukah is the festival of lights
Instead of one day of presents, we have eight crazy nights

When you feel like the only kid in town without a christmas tree
Heres a list of people who are jewish just like you and me
David lee roth lights the menorah
So do james caan, kirk douglas, and the late dinah shore-ah

Guess who eats together at the carnegie deli
Bowser from sha na na and arthur fonzerelli
Paul newmans half jewish, goldie hawns half too
Put them together, what a fine lookin jew

You dont need deck the halls or jingle bell rock
cause you can spin a dreidel with captain kirk and mr. spock- both jewish

Put on your yarmulke
Its time for chanukah
The owner of the seattle supersonicahs
Celebrates chanukah

O.j. simpson, not a jew
But guess who is? hall of famer rod carew- he converted
We got ann landers and her sister dear abby
Harrison fords a quarter jewish- not too shabby

Some people think that ebenezer scrooge is
Well hes not, but guess who is
All three stooges
So many jews are in showbiz
Tom cruise isnt, but I heard his agent is

Tell your friend veronica
Its time to celebrate chanukah
I hope I get a harmonicah
Oh this lovely, lovely chanukah
So drink your gin and tonicah
And smoke your marijuanikah
If you really, really wannakah
Have a happy, happy, happy, happy chanukah
Happy chanukah

[paul718]

Happy Chanukah

Enjoy those eight crazy nights!

Edit:  By the way, the priest offered a prayer to our Jewish brothers and sisters as they begin their celebration of Chanukah today at mass.  You aren't forgotten this time of year!

[The Mikado]

Ah, yes.  I'll raise a glass to Antiochus IV Epiphanes tonight, in celebration of his thwarted attempts to bring the benefits of Greek science and culture to the backwards, theocratic Judeans. 

Seriously, though, a holiday to celebrate Judah going from Hellenistic Selucid rule to...equally Hellenistic Hasmonean (home) rule?  Did the Jews really gain anything?

[Yamor]

That is the point - home rule.
Also, he tried to force his 'culture' on them, with punishment of imprisonment or death on those who refused it.
One thing for sure, if they'd have succeeded, there wouldn't be a Jewish people around today.

[© Tweed the Younger]

Edit:  By the way, the priest offered a prayer to our Jewish brothers and sisters as they begin their celebration of Chanukah today at mass.  You aren't forgotten this time of year!

I never understood how/why you would pray for people that you think are going to burn for eternity, but I guess this isn't the right venue for that

[paul718]

Edit:  By the way, the priest offered a prayer to our Jewish brothers and sisters as they begin their celebration of Chanukah today at mass.  You aren't forgotten this time of year!

I never understood how/why you would pray for people that you think are going to burn for eternity, but I guess this isn't the right venue for that

Is that what the Catholic Church says?  I don't even know. Regardless, it's not what I believe.

[Ronnie]

Happy Hanukkah, all of my Jewish brethren!

[Keystone Phil]

Happy Hanukkah, my friends.

Edit:  By the way, the priest offered a prayer to our Jewish brothers and sisters as they begin their celebration of Chanukah today at mass.  You aren't forgotten this time of year!

I never understood how/why you would pray for people that you think are going to burn for eternity, but I guess this isn't the right venue for that

Is that what the Catholic Church says?  I don't even know.

No, we don't. Just more ignorance on the part of the Catholic haters.

[paul718]

Happy Hanukkah, my friends.

Edit:  By the way, the priest offered a prayer to our Jewish brothers and sisters as they begin their celebration of Chanukah today at mass.  You aren't forgotten this time of year!

I never understood how/why you would pray for people that you think are going to burn for eternity, but I guess this isn't the right venue for that

Is that what the Catholic Church says?  I don't even know.

No, we don't. Just more ignorance on the part of the Catholic haters.

 I was gonna say that didn't sound right.

[SPC]

I've always wondered if Chanukah would still be as commonly celebrated among Jews if it occured during any other time of the year. I suspect that were it not for it occuring right before Christmas, it would be about as commonly practiced as Sukkot.

[memphis]

I've always wondered if Chanukah would still be as commonly celebrated among Jews if it occured during any other time of the year. I suspect that were it not for it occuring right before Christmas, it would be about as commonly practiced as Sukkot.

Sukkot is actually a much more important holiday.

[Senator Ben]

I've always wondered if Chanukah would still be as commonly celebrated among Jews if it occured during any other time of the year. I suspect that were it not for it occuring right before Christmas, it would be about as commonly practiced as Sukkot.

People only acre about it in the USA; they don't really care most other places.

[SPC]

I've always wondered if Chanukah would still be as commonly celebrated among Jews if it occured during any other time of the year. I suspect that were it not for it occuring right before Christmas, it would be about as commonly practiced as Sukkot.

People only acre about it in the USA; they don't really care most other places.

That's what I thought.

[Senator Ben]

Oh, and for people wondering about the spelling, here it is in Hebrew: חֲנֻכָּה

[© Tweed the Younger]

Happy Hanukkah, my friends.

Edit:  By the way, the priest offered a prayer to our Jewish brothers and sisters as they begin their celebration of Chanukah today at mass.  You aren't forgotten this time of year!

I never understood how/why you would pray for people that you think are going to burn for eternity, but I guess this isn't the right venue for that

Is that what the Catholic Church says?  I don't even know.

No, we don't. Just more ignorance on the part of the Catholic haters.

 I was gonna say that didn't sound right.

Matthew 25:41 (Jesus speaking to people at final judgment), ...Depart from me, ye cursed, into everlasting fire, prepared for the devil and his angels.

Revelation 14:11, And the smoke of their torment ascendeth up for ever and ever: and they have no rest day nor night...

Revelation 20:12, 15, And I saw the dead, small and great, stand before God; and the books were opened: and another book was opened, which is the book of life...And whosoever was not found written in the book of life was cast into the lake of fire.

[SPC]

I've always wondered if Chanukah would still be as commonly celebrated among Jews if it occured during any other time of the year. I suspect that were it not for it occuring right before Christmas, it would be about as commonly practiced as Sukkot.

We celebrate Purim plenty and it is nowhere in the proximity of Halloween.

Oh, and for people wondering about the spelling, here it is in Hebrew: חֲנֻכָּה

Because they really were all wondering...

I know that we celebrate Purim, but Purim hasn't become commercialized to the extent that Channukah has.

[Χahar]

Chanukah is almost as commericalized as Christmas.

[Keystone Phil]

Happy Hanukkah, my friends.

Edit:  By the way, the priest offered a prayer to our Jewish brothers and sisters as they begin their celebration of Chanukah today at mass.  You aren't forgotten this time of year!

I never understood how/why you would pray for people that you think are going to burn for eternity, but I guess this isn't the right venue for that

Is that what the Catholic Church says?  I don't even know.

No, we don't. Just more ignorance on the part of the Catholic haters.

 I was gonna say that didn't sound right.

Matthew 25:41 (Jesus speaking to people at final judgment), ...Depart from me, ye cursed, into everlasting fire, prepared for the devil and his angels.

Revelation 14:11, And the smoke of their torment ascendeth up for ever and ever: and they have no rest day nor night...

Revelation 20:12, 15, And I saw the dead, small and great, stand before God; and the books were opened: and another book was opened, which is the book of life...And whosoever was not found written in the book of life was cast into the lake of fire.

Catholics don't take every single Biblical quote literally so, again, you're misstating the belief of the Church.

[paul718]

Matthew 25:41 (Jesus speaking to people at final judgment), ...Depart from me, ye cursed, into everlasting fire, prepared for the devil and his angels.

Revelation 14:11, And the smoke of their torment ascendeth up for ever and ever: and they have no rest day nor night...

Revelation 20:12, 15, And I saw the dead, small and great, stand before God; and the books were opened: and another book was opened, which is the book of life...And whosoever was not found written in the book of life was cast into the lake of fire.

None of those passages say "Jews will go to Hell." 

And Phil's right.  Catholics don't interpret the Bible the same way Protestants do. 

[The Mikado]

Chanukah is almost as commericalized as Christmas.

Almost?  I bet you 90% of Jews couldn't tell you what Hanukah's about.  (No, the oil in the lamp lasting eight days thing doesn't count)

[RosettaStoned]

Christmas could kick Chanukah's ass any day of the week!

[Ronnie]

Christmas could kick Chanukah's ass any day of the week!

I remember that when I was a kid, I got a new present every day while Chanukah lasted (ie. 8 presents).  Beat that, Christ boy.

[paul718]

Christmas could kick Chanukah's ass any day of the week!

I remember that when I was a kid, I got a new present every day while Chanukah lasted (ie. 8 presents).  Beat that, Christ boy.

Yeah but you lose to the half-Jewish, half-Italian kids who grew up across the street from me.  They got Chanukah presents AND Christmas presents. 

[Grad Students are the Worst]

A great holiday, mostly because it nets me a lot of gelt.  Gelt tastes kind of crappy but it reminds me of my childhood.  Unlike Christmas, which reminds me of childhood with my relatives.  Chanukkah wins.

Oh, and also lamps that don't go out and stuff.  Love those!