The Cheney Presidency

[Lincoln Republican]

Friday, January 16, 2009

President George W Bush is found slumped over his desk in the Oval Office at 8:39 A.M. by his Chief of Staff, Joshua Bolten.  A doctor is called in immediately, who pronounces the 43rd President of the United States dead of a sudden heart attack, which likely took place sometime between 7:30 and 8:00 that morning.

Chief of Staff Bolten puts in an immediate call to Vice President Dick Cheney, then to President Elect Barack Obama.  The Vice President and his wife, Lynne, rush over to the White House,  and they go immediately to the Oval Office.  First lady Laura Bush greet the Vice President and Mrs. Cheney, they hug, and give Mrs. Bush their heartfelt condolences.  A few minutes later, a call is received from the President Elect, who offers his and Michelle's sincere condolences to Mrs. Bush and to the Bush family.  The Vice President and the President Elect then speak to one another for a couple of minutes, and offer one another their full support.

Chief of Staff Bolten then puts in a call to Chief Justice John Roberts, explains what has happened, and Roberts, together with his wife, go immediately to the White House, to the Oval Office, where Roberts and his wife offer Laura their sincere condolences, then Roberts  administers the oath of office to Vice President Dick Cheney as the 44th President of the United States at 9:17 A.M.

The press and the networks are then immediately notified of the events that have just transpired.

Arrangements are made for the new President to speak from the Oval Office, and President Cheney addresses the nation at 11:00 A.M. 

My fellow Americans, I address you as your new President with a heavy heart, but at the same time, with the assurance in the enduring greatness of our country.  As most of you are aware by now, President Bush passed away earlier this morning as the result of a sudden and unexpected heart attack.  Mrs. Cheney and I offer our heartfelt condolences to Mrs. Bush and to the Bush family.   

In accordance with the constitution of our great nation, I have been sworn in as the 44th President of the United States.  Chief Justice Roberts administered the oath of office at 9:17 this morning.  I have spoken with President Elect Obama, and have assured him of my full support during the balance of the transition.  I will, of course, be serving as your President only until noon, Tuesday, January 20, 2009, at which time President Elect Barack Obama will be sworn in as the nation's 45th President.

12:18 P.M., the President has a light lunch of chicken noodle soup, a tuna salad sandwich, and bottled water.

1:00 P.M., President Cheney meets with the cabinet one last time, in order to determine if there any outstanding issues that need to be addressed urgently in the waning days of the administration.

4:00 P.M., the President meets with the National Security Council, to receive the latest updates on security, defense, and international concerns.

7:00 P.M., President and Mrs. Cheney have dinner, consisting of skinless roasted chicken breasts, roasted potatoes, green beans, bottled water, and fresh peaches served with yougurt.

8:00 to 10:00 P.M., the President pours over the latest Presidential briefing papers, then retires for the evening.

Next installment will cover the events of Saturday, January 17, 2009 in the Cheney Presidency. 

[Psychic Octopus]

Wow.

[Captain Chaos]

Is this TL going to be written in real time until Obama becomes President?

[Middle-aged Europe]

Saturday, January 17, 2009

8:34 A.M., President Cheney takes a dump.

[Hash]

Saturday, January 17, 2009

8:34 A.M., President Cheney takes a dump.

Saturday, January 17, 2009

8:36 A.M., President Cheney is done crapping.

[Lincoln Republican]

Saturday, January 17, 2009

President Cheney arises at 5:00 A.M. to get an early start on his first full day as President.

Over breakfast with Lynne, he jokingly says to his wife, I don't have a Vice President, of course.  I'd better survive until the inauguration, or Nancy Pelosi becomes President.  Now that's a scary thought.  Both get a good chuckle out of that.

After breakfast, the President calls in National Security Advisor Stephen Hadley at 6:30 A.M. to pursue some matters from their meeting the day before. 

Cheney:  Stephen, I feel uneasy today for some reason.  Thinking about the meeting yesterday with the National Security Council, as you know, we had discussed the matter of increased chatter and security threats in certain parts of the country.  I know there is not total agreement that these threats are serious or that terrorists are organized, but I am prepared to order a security sweep of the specified areas in the three centres in question, Los Angeles, Chicago, and New York City by the FBI and the armed forces.  I'll get Bob and Mike on a conference call.

(FBI Director Robert Mueller, Chairman Joint Chiefs of Staff Admiral Michael Mullen)

Bob, Mike, good morning.  I was telling Steve I feel uneasy about matters discussed yesterday at our National Security Council meeting.  As you are aware from the meeting, we do not know for certain that a threat is imminent or even real at this time, but I believe now is the time to act, so we willl act on it immediately. 

I am ordering the immediate implementation of Plan A.

On the President's order, Plan A is put into immediate effect, with the FBI and the armed forces making a sweep of suspect areas.

Hours later, several terrorist plotters are arrested, along with bomb making materials and weapons.

In Chicago in particular, the terrorists had wanted to make a big impact with a terrorist attack, in view of the fact that Chicago is Obama's home town.

It turned out to be the right time to act, as to act before that time the plotters were still spread out in each city and had not come together to plan their final assault.  To act after that time would have been too late.     

President Cheney's wisdom and judgment to act that day had saved thousands of innocent lives, and had thwarted a terrorist plot to destabilize the country and the incoming Obama administration.

The new President had saved the country, and in particular three major urban areas, from a potentially devastating tragedy.

[Hash]

BREAKING: OBAMA WAS THE TERRORIST@!!111!!

[Lincoln Republican]

Go and pollute someone else's thread.

[Lincoln Republican]

Is this TL going to be written in real time until Obama becomes President?

This TL will end on Monday.

[Matt Damon™]

LOL

[Eleden]

Is this TL going to be written in real time until Obama becomes President?

This TL will end on Monday.

Lol... will Cheney have an unexpected heart attack, paving the way for a Nancy Pelosi Presidency?   

[Sensei]

Is this TL going to be written in real time until Obama becomes President?

This TL will end on Monday.

Lol... will Cheney have an unexpected heart attack, paving the way for a Nancy Pelosi Presidency?   

Is it even possible for a Cheney heart attack to be unexpected?

[Lincoln Republican]

Sunday, January 18, 2009

The Sunday morning newspapers across the nation proclaim

CHENEY FOILS TERRORIST PLOT

As is his practice, the President arises early, 5:30 A.M., has breakfast, and reviews the latest Presidential briefing papers.

President Cheney and first First Lady Lynne are to attend a Sunday morning worship and  service of thanks giving at the National Cathedral in Washington, DC at 10:00 A.M.  At 7:36 A.M., the President receives a call from the President Elect, Barack Obama, advising him that he and Michelle would be honored to attend the service with President and Mrs. Cheney.  The President replies that he and Mrs. Cheney would be honored and delighted to have him and Michelle attend the service with them.

The President Elect's office had issued a press release on Saturday that he and his wife would be attending the service at the National Cathedral on Sunday morning at 10:00 A.M.

The President and Mrs. Cheney arrive at the National Cathedral in the Presidential limousine at 9:34 A.M.  Due to his thwarting of a potentially devastating terrorist plot, overnight, President Cheney had gained the status of a national hero.  Thousands are waiting in the street to greet the President and First Lady, but moreso to meet the President Elect and Mrs. Obama.  The President and Mrs. Cheney emerge from the back seat of the limousine to a tumultuous welcome from the assembled throngs.  The President and his wife are smiling broadly as they wave to the enthusiastic crowds.

President Elect and Mrs. Obama arrive at the National Cathedral at 9:42 A.M.  They emerge from back of the limousine, start walking up the stairs, from where they begin waving to the crowds, the people begin cheering wildly, shouting Obama, Obama.

The President and First Lady are waiting at the top of the stairs and the President Elect and his wife make their way up the stairs to join them.  The President and First Lady greet the President Elect and his wife warmly, and the four of them wave  to the assembled crowds.  The President and the President Elect stand beside one another, and the First Lady and the incoming First Lady stand beside one another.

As the four of them are waving to the crowds assembled in the street below, President Cheney sees in the crowd something flashing in the morning sunlight.  In an instant, Cheney throws his arms around Obama's head to push him to the ground.  In the process, President Cheney catches a bullet in his right forearm, a bullet meant for President Elect Obama.

Panic ensues in the crowd as they hear a shot ring out.  The shooter is tackled to the ground by the secret service and taken into custody.  The President, the President Elect, and their wives are rushed into the cathedral by the secret service.  The President and his wife are taken to a room inside the cathedral, where a doctor is called in to administer treatment to the wounded President.  The President Elect and his wife are taken to the same room.  The bullet is removed, pain killers are administered, and the wound is bandaged up.

The secret service take the Cheney's and the Obama's to a secure location.

Later that day, ballistics experts confirm that if President Cheney had not covered President Elect Obama's head when he did with his arms, that the bullet would have struck President Elect Obama in the head, between the eyes, and would have killed the President Elect instantly.

The President had in fact saved the life of the President Elect.

Later that same day, Sunday, back at the White House, in the Oval Office, President Cheney is back at work.  His right arm is bandaged and is in a sling, but he has a matter of urgent concern that he feels must be dealt with immediately.

The President meets with Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice, Defense Secretary Robert Gates, members of the National Security Council, CIA Director General Michael Hayden, and Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff Admiral Michael Mullen.

Says the President:

I have made a decision.  After extensive review of intelligence reports and surveillance maps, I have decided to immediately implement the operation to bring Osama bin Laden to justice. 

The President has those attending the meeting look at the map he has on a table in his office.  On the map, which is a surveillance map of the area on the Afghanistan/Pakistan border, there is a red mark, put there by Cheney himself. 

Says Cheney

This is where we will go after bin Laden.  We will call this undertaking Operation Justice.

Operation Justice is put into effect within eight hours.  The operation is kept as secret as possible, but once it starts, the press begins covering details they have been able to uncover.


Heavy bombing commences in the area designated by the President, followed by six thousand well trained U.S. troops moved into the area hours before, accompanied by four thousand Afghan trooops, and guides, who know the area well.

After four hours of intense fighting, the bin Laden troops are overwhelmed by sheer numbers and superior equipment, and surrender.  The bin Laden headquarters is located shortly thereafter, where the body of Osama bin Laden is found, dead from a self inflicted gunshot to the head.  As well, some top bin Laden henchmen and lieutenants are found, as well dead from self inflicted gunshots to the head.

Sure enough, President Cheney's hunch had paid off.  U.S. and Afghan troops had gotten arch enemy and perpetrator of evil Osama bin Laden in a masterfully executed operation.

[SPC]

Sunday, January 18, 2009

8:26 AM, President Cheney starts World War III.

[Captain Chaos]

Looking forward to tomorrow.

[Lincoln Republican]

Looking forward to tomorrow.

Thank you, and thank you for your intelligent comment.

[Lief 🗽]

Wow. Just... wow.

[Meeker]

Winfield, is this supposed to be a joke?

[○∙◄☻¥tπ[╪AV┼cVê└]

I've got one.

Tuesday January 20, 11:51am: A man attempts to assassinate Obama to prevent a black man from becoming President. The Secret Service jump on him, but he still manages to fire a shot, which hits George W Bush, who was standing next to Obama.

11:53am: George W Bush is pronounced dead.

11:55am: Dick Cheney grabs Obama's bible and gets sworn in.

12:00pm: Obama grabs back his bible, and gets sworn in, ending the brief Cheney administration.

[Hash]

I'm not sure if this is meant to be for real.

[Bacon King]

LOL! Cheney the badass, I love it.

[Lincoln Republican]

Wow. Just... wow.

Thank you for your comment.

I am assuming it is meant to be a positive remark about my story.

[Lincoln Republican]

Winfield, is this supposed to be a joke?

VP Meeker, I did not write this story for the purpose of making it a joke, although, obviously, the events in the story are pure fantasy. 

It is simply a time line I made up that is meant to show remarkable achievements in such a brief Presidency, and one that is, hopefully, enjoyable and entertaining to those reading it.

Thank you for showing an interest in my time line and following it, by the way.

And thank you to all who have been following it.

[Lincoln Republican]

I'm not sure if this is meant to be for real.

Please see my reply to VP Meeker.

[Lincoln Republican]

I'm not sure if this is meant to be for real.

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Same, but whether it is or not, it's pretty entertaining!
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Thank you for your comment.