Comedy Goldmine XI: The Atlas Forum Demilitarized Zone

[opebo]

When  What was the last thing before this StateRights gem that you thought was witty?

Clearly this one

We sent Bill Clinton to pick up two women?  Well at least we picked the right man for the job.  Go get 'em Bill!

You didn't like my little zinger about Richius's leather thong?  I know it wasn't one of my best, but I liked it.

[Хahar 🤔]

jmfcst win:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NSKsrOX4AJo

BREAKING NEWS : Your a You're an idiot

Pretty much, though I would characterize him more as an insecure.

Yeah, individual grammatical errors I can handle....but back-to-back grammatical errors start to make my skin craw...like a grown man tossing a baseball like a girl to another grown man.

[Hash]

Thought you lean gay?

Now i'm toss up.

[Marokai Backbeat]

Ladies and gentlemen, Hash presents to you: Josh 2.0

[King]

Ladies and gentlemen, Hash presents to you: Josh 2.0

I'm going to hold out on buying this one when we all know the Josh 3G-S will be out within a year.

[Filuwaúrdjan]

Nearly all blacks have conservative core values, they're just stuck in Democratic bodies because they want to stick with the general conformity that all blacks are democratic for no good reason.

Dude, how many blacks do you talk to more than 10 minutes a week?

His maid is black!

[I spent the winter writing songs about getting better]

Oh man guys, if we're lucky, this could lead to a regional conflict and then Armageddon and Jesus will come back! Hooray!

no, it goes something like this: 
1. regional conflict
2. rebuilding of Temple
3. revealing of AntiChrist
4. world war III
5. AntiChrist makes peace and seems insurmountable
6. AntiChrist declares himself God and sets up Mark of the beast, beginning the Great Tribulation
7. killing of Christians  (I'll probably be killed, so you'll like that)
8. Jesus appearing in clouds visible to entire world and rapture of Church and the start of the outpouring of the Wrath of God (you won't like this part)
9. destruction of Mystery Babylon (probably America)
10. Armageddon, as AntiChrist assembles all the world's armies to the middle east to fight Jesus
11. Jesus' physical return and beginning of 1000 year reign from Jerusalem.

[Sensei]

Oh man guys, if we're lucky, this could lead to a regional conflict and then Armageddon and Jesus will come back! Hooray!

no, it goes something like this: 
1. regional conflict
2. rebuilding of Temple
3. revealing of AntiChrist
4. world war III
5. AntiChrist makes peace and seems insurmountable
6. AntiChrist declares himself God and sets up Mark of the beast, beginning the Great Tribulation
7. killing of Christians  (I'll probably be killed, so you'll like that)
8. Jesus appearing in clouds visible to entire world and rapture of Church and the start of the outpouring of the Wrath of God (you won't like this part)
9. destruction of Mystery Babylon (probably America)
10. Armageddon, as AntiChrist assembles all the world's armies to the middle east to fight Jesus
11. Jesus' physical return and beginning of 1000 year reign from Jerusalem.

This all makes sense until step 9. Probably America? Psh.

[I spent the winter writing songs about getting better]

What's funny is you could read that as someone parodying jmfcst and it fits perfectly.

[Swing low, sweet chariot. Comin' for to carry me home.]

Oh man guys, if we're lucky, this could lead to a regional conflict and then Armageddon and Jesus will come back! Hooray!

no, it goes something like this: 
1. regional conflict
2. rebuilding of Temple
3. revealing of AntiChrist
4. world war III
5. AntiChrist makes peace and seems insurmountable
6. AntiChrist declares himself God and sets up Mark of the beast, beginning the Great Tribulation
7. killing of Christians  (I'll probably be killed, so you'll like that)
8. Jesus appearing in clouds visible to entire world and rapture of Church and the start of the outpouring of the Wrath of God (you won't like this part)
9. destruction of Mystery Babylon (probably America)
10. Armageddon, as AntiChrist assembles all the world's armies to the middle east to fight Jesus
11. Jesus' physical return and beginning of 1000 year reign from Jerusalem.

This all makes sense until step 9. Probably America? Psh.

you think I should strike out the word "probably"?

[Sensei]

Oh man guys, if we're lucky, this could lead to a regional conflict and then Armageddon and Jesus will come back! Hooray!

no, it goes something like this: 
1. regional conflict
2. rebuilding of Temple
3. revealing of AntiChrist
4. world war III
5. AntiChrist makes peace and seems insurmountable
6. AntiChrist declares himself God and sets up Mark of the beast, beginning the Great Tribulation
7. killing of Christians  (I'll probably be killed, so you'll like that)
8. Jesus appearing in clouds visible to entire world and rapture of Church and the start of the outpouring of the Wrath of God (you won't like this part)
9. destruction of Mystery Babylon (probably America)
10. Armageddon, as AntiChrist assembles all the world's armies to the middle east to fight Jesus
11. Jesus' physical return and beginning of 1000 year reign from Jerusalem.

This all makes sense until step 9. Probably America? Psh.

you think I should strike out the word "probably"?

indeed.

[Psychic Octopus]

I think you are missing something obvious.

Rick Santorum goes to Iowa.

Phil goes missing.

I think there may be a connection between the two.

[Sewer]

watching queer as folk.

Reason why I discovered I'm Bi. My "friend" sent me a link that said "Funny roller coaster video" and Queer as folk popped up instead.....and i think you can guess what happened after that

[Bacon King]

I think you are missing something obvious.

Rick Santorum goes to Iowa.

Phil goes missing.

I think there may be a connection between the two.

[??????????]

On Ahmadinejad.

Definitely HP. The Iranian Bush.

[Sensei]

The last two photos make me understand many things...

[??????????]

The last two photos make me understand many things...

Why do the French plant trees along their roads?

So the Germans have shade to march in.

[Marokai Backbeat]

The last two photos make me understand many things...

Why do the French plant trees along their roads?

So the Germans have shade to march in.

LOL

[Alexander Hamilton]

The last two photos make me understand many things...

Why do the French plant trees along their roads?

So the Germans have shade to march in.

OH sh**t!

[RI]

The last two photos make me understand many things...

Why do the French plant trees along their roads?

So the Germans have shade to march in.

OH sh**t!

'Cause, you know, that joke has never been told before...

[Queen Mum Inks.LWC]

I'd track them down and give them what's coming to them.  (Seriously - I hate people who steal stuff - somebody egged my car the other day and if I would've caught them I'd have ... idk - done something).

Lol, done something?  Knowing you, you would have bought them a drink, befriended them and invited them home for dinner. 

[Hash]

So, why does States have an obsession over Antonio and being a run-of-the-mill Francophobe?

Francophobia is so old, anyways.

[Alexander Hamilton]

well yeah.. my family goes through well over a gallon of maple syrup per year.  I've just never even thought about buying it by the gallon.

And you complain health insurance is expensive.

[I spent the winter writing songs about getting better]

I consider living in suburbs stupid, so yes.

Then make a thread about that instead.

Really, why is living in suburbs stupid? Less crime, better schools, more leisure. I'd like to know.

Less crime, better schools.. but certainly not more leisure... unless you count mowing your yard leisure.  For young children, the suburbs are probably better since a child really only needs other children and an imagination to have a great time anyway... but for young people or singles, the city is certainly preferable.

And anyway, home ownership in cities and in rural areas is also quite normal.  Some family friends of ours own a home in Minneapolis.  They've lived there since about 1990.

I mean for families. There's more parks, movie theaters, strip malls in suburban areas.

Minneapolis has tons of parks, I live in walking distance from a theater (and one that plays GOOD movies, not crap like Transformers 2 and GI Joe) and I'm also walking distance from a strip mall though I'd hardly consider those a positive.

Minneapolis is different from many "cities" as well, as evidenced by even their voting patterns.

[Grumpier Than Uncle Joe]

Regarding Vodka......

Freedom Drink

You're 14.