Comedy Goldmine XI: The Atlas Forum Demilitarized Zone

[Mechaman]

DO YOU KNOW WHO ELSE MASTURBATED? HITLER!

Speaking of which.....

DO YOU KNOW WHO ELSE HAD OPPOSABLE THUMBS? HITLER!

DO YOU KNOW WHO ELSE HAD TO POOP? HITLER!

[Хahar 🤔]

DO YOU KNOW WHO ELSE HAD NO SONS? HITLER!

[Platypus]

DO YOU KNOW WHO ELSE KILLED THE GOLDMINE? YOUSE GUYZ!

[Mechaman]

PBrunsel on the Presidency of John Edwards on his list of the greatest presidents of the 21st century up to 2050:

4. Edwards (Many think of his years as much like the Clinton Years, minus the sex scandals)

[Marokai Backbeat]

PBrunsel on the Presidency of John Edwards on his list of the greatest presidents of the 21st century up to 2050:

4. Edwards (Many think of his years as much like the Clinton Years, minus the sex scandals)

Beautiful.

[Psychic Octopus]

PBrunsel on the Presidency of John Edwards on his list of the greatest presidents of the 21st century up to 2050:

4. Edwards (Many think of his years as much like the Clinton Years, minus the sex scandals)

Beautiful.

Hilarious.

[Marokai Backbeat]

In a major shock, McCain elopes with his Argentine mistress the next day and Jean Royer is nominated by the Republican Party in a desperate move. However, Obama announces that he does not want to face Jean Royer since they're friends in real life and they nominate Cornelius I.

Jean Royer promises to kill abortion doctors, to ban sex, to ban gay people, to ban black people, to ban hippies and to kill people who look at porn. He chooses George Wallace as his running mate, even if he's dead.

Cornelius I promises to make illiteracy the sole official language, to repeal all laws to end crime, to repeal the Law of Gravity, abolishing the environment, banning winter and climate change and promising to name an animal as a senior cabinet minister. He chooses a giraffe as his running mate.

America is scared of Royer and they elect their first animal President.

[Mechaman]

In a major shock, McCain elopes with his Argentine mistress the next day and Jean Royer is nominated by the Republican Party in a desperate move. However, Obama announces that he does not want to face Jean Royer since they're friends in real life and they nominate Cornelius I.

Jean Royer promises to kill abortion doctors, to ban sex, to ban gay people, to ban black people, to ban hippies and to kill people who look at porn. He chooses George Wallace as his running mate, even if he's dead.

Cornelius I promises to make illiteracy the sole official language, to repeal all laws to end crime, to repeal the Law of Gravity, abolishing the environment, banning winter and climate change and promising to name an animal as a senior cabinet minister. He chooses a giraffe as his running mate.

America is scared of Royer and they elect their first animal President.

Why not just get Tom Coburn to run? He'd probably do all of the above, minus banning the blacks.

[Landslide Lyndon]

So if I have political ambitions, I'm f**cked, in other words...   

In an unspecitief future Seanator Benconstine is a Democratic nominee for President and his Republican rival air such ad:

"Can you trust a person who was a forum buddy to such America enemies like evil Canadian Prime Minister Hashemite, Prime Minister Antonio V of France, Prime Minister Kalwejt of Poland, not to mention notorius terrorist leader Mechman in Oklahoma?!

...Paid by Stark for President committee. I was not his buddy in Atlas"

[Alexander Hamilton]

So if I have political ambitions, I'm f**cked, in other words...   

In an unspecitief future Seanator Benconstine is a Democratic nominee for President and his Republican rival air such ad:

"Can you trust a person who was a forum buddy to such America enemies like evil Canadian Prime Minister Hashemite, Prime Minister Antonio V of France, Prime Minister Kalwejt of Poland, not to mention notorius terrorist leader Mechman in Oklahoma?!

...Paid by Stark for President committee. I was not his buddy in Atlas"

That wasn't even ben lol.

[Landslide Lyndon]

So if I have political ambitions, I'm f**cked, in other words...   

In an unspecitief future Seanator Benconstine is a Democratic nominee for President and his Republican rival air such ad:

"Can you trust a person who was a forum buddy to such America enemies like evil Canadian Prime Minister Hashemite, Prime Minister Antonio V of France, Prime Minister Kalwejt of Poland, not to mention notorius terrorist leader Mechman in Oklahoma?!

...Paid by Stark for President committee. I was not his buddy in Atlas"

That wasn't even ben lol.

At one time or another everybody in this forum has mistaken Frodo for Ben.

[Hash]

Why not just get Tom Coburn to run? He'd probably do all of the above, minus banning the blacks.

Believe it or not, Jean Royer is actually dumber than Tom Coburn. Which is what makes the guy so cool.

[Landslide Lyndon]

Learn what communism is first

I'm pretty well versed in knowing what communism is, I've also taken a lot of trips to the state of Vermont.  Even if you've done one, I doubt you know a lot about both.

Visit Burlington, Stowe, Waterbury, etc. and you'll find commies are a dime a dozen

[AndrewTX]

I told him that he needed to chill it down a notch.  Obviously he doesn't take criticism well

That's fascinating.

 I dont know why.. I just found it funny.

[Marokai Backbeat]

Percentages won by communist presidential candidates in Vermont since 1960:

1960: 0%
1964: 0%
1968: 0.18%
1972: 0.16%
1976: 0.23%
1980: 0.10%
1984: 0.10%
1988: 0.05%
1992: 0.03%
1996: 0.08%
2000: 0.02%
2004: 0.08%
2008: 0.10%

Vermont has, since 2000, been trending very strongly communist.

[Landslide Lyndon]

To be fair, Steele probably thought Papa Blunt was a rapper

[I spent the winter writing songs about getting better]

I swear, there will be more than just rowdy gangs of old people.  The guns will go off - and the politicians will deserve every bit of what is coming to them, especially the liberals in this country.

If a stranger knocks on your door over the next few days, don't worry- it's just the FBI.

[Landslide Lyndon]

Context needed.

Consume alcohol responsibly.

[Torie]

A fetus is a parasite, which cannot survive independently from the mother and provides nothing in turn for the mother. It is the biological version of a welfare queen. It therefore is not human life.

[Sewer]

I had a cat that was a whore once. Her name was Tinkerbell.

[Mechaman]

Party : Libertarian, but will support GOP Candidates

Updated

[pogo stick]

It's not funny. My fiscal score is above +1.00, So i'm fiscally conservative.

[Psychic Octopus]

Party : Libertarian, but will support GOP Candidates

Updated

[Mechaman]

It's not funny. My fiscal score is above +1.00, So i'm fiscally conservative.

You have much to learn young padawan.
Drop your social score by AT LEAST 10 POINTS then we'll talk.

[pogo stick]

It's not funny. My fiscal score is above +1.00, So i'm fiscally conservative.

You have much to learn young padawan.
Drop your social score by AT LEAST 10 POINTS then we'll talk.

I'm a L.I.N.O socially and foreign policy wise.

I'm a right-leaning Fiscal conservative