Comedy Goldmine XI: The Atlas Forum Demilitarized Zone

[Sensei]

https://uselectionatlas.org/FORUM/index.php?topic=97023.45

It's all downhill from page 3

[Bacon King]

Obama can't win. He has no experience and he hasnt accomplished anything in life. When he runs is he going to say, when I was a state senator, I cosponsered a bill calling for more pothole filling.

[YRABNNRM]

Obama can't win. He has no experience and he hasnt accomplished anything in life. When he runs is he going to say, when I was a state senator, I cosponsered a bill calling for more pothole filling.

conan lol

[King]

Catmusic, here's some friendly advice for you as you're new to the forum.  It's generally considered a grave faux-pas to create a match-up poll featuring yourself as one of the options.  But it's even worse to speculate exactly how well you'd perform.

Do you want to be kicked of my friend list?

[Sewer]

I'd like to make a write-in vote for senator David Vitter of Louisiana, who campaigned on family values, and who has been a firce advocate for "the sanctuary of marriage" but cheated on his wife for years with a whore.

An honourble mention to Mrs Vitter, who during the Lewinski scandal critizised Hillary for not divorcing Bill, adding that if her husband had cheated on her she would have cut his dick off. Thankfully for our dear senator, his wife never followed through on that, and they're still together.

 

[Bacon King]

Many of the metaphors used are highly suspect and point to authorship by Bill Ayers.

[Landslide Lyndon]

DEEDS LEEDS MCDONELL BLEEDS THE RACE PROCEEDS UNTIL ONE OF THEM CONCEEDS AND THE OTHER SUCCEEDS

[King]

kljackson grew up to be Barack Obama

[Bacon King]

I keep trying to send BeccaM a message, but I never get an email back. So, BeccaM, if your message thing isn't working, I've been trying to email you. And If it is, go and check it. I have been sending email after email after email to you.

[King]

I keep trying to send BeccaM a message, but I never get an email back. So, BeccaM, if your message thing isn't working, I've been trying to email you. And If it is, go and check it. I have been sending email after email after email to you.

He's half annoying and half hilarious.  We should ask him to hit his caps lock button for full effect.

[I spent the winter writing songs about getting better]

Ugh, this pains me to admit, but I have to give credit where it's due:

Remember that BeccaM also works as a webcam girl, so it's possible she is filming right now. Give her time. Not all relationships move as fast as BushOKs.

[YRABNNRM]

Um...should I be concerned?

[The Mikado]

You must be logged in to read this quote.

Say what?

I have to admit, BeccaM is quickly becoming one of my fave posters here.  And I thought she was a troll at first. 

[King]

you'd win 4 states. AZ ,NY, MA, RI, and CA.

[Marokai Backbeat]

Um...should I be concerned?

LOL

[Marokai Backbeat]

If I was drunk , maybe. But since i'm 14. HELL NO.

You can be 14 and drunk.

I'm abstinent... ok.. not in all cases.. buuuuttttt..stillll.

[YRABNNRM]

Politics is a dirty game ,if you can't stand the oven. Then cry like a baby.

[King]

Politics is a dirty game ,if you can't stand the oven. Then cry like a baby.

This guy must be related to Yogi Berra.

[King]

I don't know what the hell he's saying, but I found it funny.

If I was drunk , maybe. But since i'm 14. HELL NO.

You can be 14 and drunk.

I'm abstinent... ok.. not in all cases.. buuuuttttt..stillll.

I think he's trying to tell us something...

No i'm not. I'm russian!!! It's not fault that I like Vodka!!!

[Lunar]

I think the internet needs an age limit

[Joe Republic]

I think the internet needs an age limit

I agree.  Frankly I'm sick of JSojourner, Torie, muon2 et al polluting our lovely forum with their incessant potty mouthing and general time-wasting.

[Lunar]

I think the internet needs an age limit

I agree.  Frankly I'm sick of JSojourner, Torie, muon2 et al polluting our lovely forum with their incessant potty mouthing and general time-wasting.

We could also set the limit to be anything before one minute before your birthday to anything after one minute after your birthday

[Joe Republic]

I think the internet needs an age limit

I agree.  Frankly I'm sick of JSojourner, Torie, muon2 et al polluting our lovely forum with their incessant potty mouthing and general time-wasting.

We could also set the limit to be anything before one minute before your birthday to anything after one minute after your birthday

Awesome, I'd love to be the only poster on the forum.  It'd be like that time I woke up in a hospital and the whole city was deserted and then oh wait that was 28 Days Later.

[JSojourner]

I think the internet needs an age limit

I agree.  Frankly I'm sick of JSojourner, Torie, muon2 et al polluting our lovely forum with their incessant potty mouthing and general time-wasting.

You're just saying that because you know we are SCORING with all the ladies in the retirement community!  ;-)

[The Mikado]

No thanks. My ex-girlfriend was a Jew. I've hated them ever since.

Credit where credit's due.  That's Rowan's best post by far.