You are supreme ruler...

[afleitch]

...how would you govern?

You wake tomorrow as the leader of your country with absolute power which you can choose to dilute but you can never completely give away. What would you do?

I would, rather grandly, assume the mantle of king and promptly set up a democracy and a parliament. I would stay on as regent with little power (but still some...you see as you can't give it all away) adopt and nominate a sucessor and allow the country to govern itself.

[Kaine for Senate '18]

I'd keep things much the way they are now, although I'd retain absolute authority.

[DownWithTheLeft]

Abolish all the cabinet departments I deemed unnecssary and combined the rest into either State, Defense, Treasury, or the Justice Department (that was good enough for the founding fathers).  I would institute a flat tax, outlaw abortion, legalize drugs, and then get some before doing anything further.

[paul718]

Abolish all the cabinet departments I deemed unnecssary and combined the rest into either State, Defense, Treasury, or the Justice Department (that was good enough for the founding fathers).  I would institute a flat tax, outlaw abortion, legalize drugs, and then get some before doing anything further.

This.  Plus I would grant myself a line-item veto power, and would give congressional representation to DC.

[Purple State]

I would probably set it up like the US is now, take President for 4 years, then hold a democratic election and run for another four years. After that I would pull back to that sort of figurehead king while the country runs itself, but I would also hold a line-item veto and anonymous hold power.

[© tweed]

mob style crude welfare state ensuring PRI-style democratic facade/quasi-dictatorship with a few more economic and political freedoms.  PRI minus the six-year, one-term limit so I rule for like 30 years or whatever

[The Man From G.O.P.]

I'd retain my full powers and institute the following...


5% corporate tax
10% income tax (no deductions)
5% sales tax


National welfare system would consist of food distribution in the form of staples, (ie you get paper sacks filled with bread, milk, and vouchers for fresh meats and vegetables) Adult educational system including classes on nutrition, fitness, basic economics, childcare. Government works very closely with private charities, religious or otherwise.

[Kaine for Senate '18]

In terms of influence/style, I'd probably be somewhere close to Louis XIV, in terms of holding absolutely authority.

[Lunar]

invade belgium

[I spent the winter writing songs about getting better]

Well first I'd start a party called something like the Revolutionary People's Party. Then the Party would take control of all media and establish a political machine that we'd use to control like 80% of seats in Parliament. I'd probably become PM and then appoint a figurehead President so I could take a break and do whatever I wanted (like host SNL) while I'd have someone else take over as PM. Probably let the opposition get something like 20% of seats in Parliament. Similiar to Egypt. Then I'd set up a network of secret police similar to described in "California Uber Alles", sort of a hipster/scene police. I'd even have special units with no purpose other than to enforce the ban on psuedo-emo fashion, shaving kids' heads, destroying their stupid Hot Topic clothes, etc., and probably the ban on metal music as well. My Chemical Romance and all similar bands would be forced into exile. Ralph Nader would possibly be "disappeared", though I'd rather just arrest and imprison him or also throw him into exile due to the abolishment of the death penalty.

Then I'd probably establish an ultra-liberal State Church so we could crack down on other churches, heavy crackdown on the Catholic Church, Southern Baptists, any fundies, etc. Scientology would be flat out outlawed. I'd legalize gay marriage everywhere but outlaw marriages that violate the half + 7 rule, the exception being heterosexual marriages where the female is older (This would be termed the "Cougar Clause".)

Then the national anthem would be changed to some indie/emo song, and I'd start personality cults around various "scene" heroes, we'd have a national holiday honoring Guy Picciotto for example. Probably Obama too, he'd sort of be held as a state hero like Simon Bolivar is in several South American countries. No doubt both Obama and Picciotto would end up on money. I'd use the powers of eminement domain to build lots and lots of strip clubs. I might even just for kicks have a building with two distinct parts: a strip club and a church of the state religion. This would also be the basis of my patronage system, people would be rewarded for loyalty and service to the regime by being granted ownership of strip clubs. And any attractive female illegal immigrants would have to work two years in one to earn citizenship. Obviously there would also be hordes of indie venues as well. State radio would blare scene music alongside the propaganda all day. It'd be like Enclave Radio on Fallout 3 except with scene music replacing the patriotic songs. Well actually, under this regime the scene music WOULD be the patriotic songs!

All private schools and colleges would be either shut down or nationalized. The only religious schools allowed would be those of the state religion (I guess current liberal Protestant schools could be converted into those) while Catholic and fundie schools are shut down. Secular private schools would be nationalized unless they were deemed too conservative in which case they would be shut down. Private education and homeschooling would be illegal.

Combating suburbia would be a top priority. High taxes would be imposed on suburbs making them effectively unlivable for anyone but the super-rich, who would end up being robbed of their assets. So suburbs would be converted into virtual ghettos, but then renovated to more urban architecure. Freddie Mae and Fannie Mac would be abolished, as would private homeownership for anyone but loyal supporters of the regime. Of course rent would be so heavily subsidized it'd be quite cheap, my current apartment is $550/month, this would be dropped to lower than $300. Of course tons of strip clubs would pop up in the former suburbs. Tons of middle-class families would see themselves forced from owning a McMansion in suburbia to living in an apartment in a dense urban neighborhood quite soon. Our cities would begin to resemble more Europe's. Exurbs and outer suburbs probably would be converted to large farming conglomerates, all nationalized.

Oh and the economic policy would be like Norway or something.

[k-onmmunist]

Turn Britain into a federal, republic with direct democracy and proportional representation, pull out government intervention from the economy, rule for 9 years, then assume a figurehead position.

[paul718]

Free honey for everyone!

[dead0man]

Rename the US...something like Liberty Land.  Move the capitol to Yellowstone.  Decriminalize all victimless crimes.  Shrink the govt by about 75% then start sending emails to the worst nations on Earth asking them to clean up their act and fast or prepare to die.  Offer complete free trade with any nation that wants it (and isn't on the "worst nations" list) with NO protections for any industry here or there.  Make "sin taxes" illegal.

I could go on all night (or at least for a couple of more paragraphs).

[Scam of God]

* Completely privatize the armed services
* Decriminalize all victimless crimes
* Sell off all overseas national holdings
* Privatize the Interstate Highway System
* Pay off the foreign debt
* End every so-called 'Faith-Based Initiative'
* End the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan
* Reduce our present stockpiles of nuclear weapons by 80%
* Legalize gay marriage on a Federal level
* End the tax-exempt status of churches and religious organizations
* Privatize the public school system, selling it off to explicitly non-religious organizations
* End every governmentally-contracted union
* Establish the only government monopoly permitted under my new system: that over scientific research

[Rob]

1. Religious faith would be completely legal and tolerated, but strict separation of church and state would be enforced (e.g., "In God We Trust" is gone ). The Church of Scientology and the various Mormon Fundamentalist sects would be outlawed; Colorado City-Hildale, Arizona, and Pinesdale, Montana, for example, would be literally burned to the ground.

(more later)

[Boris]

we'd have a national holiday honoring Guy Picciotto for example. Probably Obama too, he'd sort of be held as a state hero like Simon Bolivar is in several South American countries. No doubt both Obama and Picciotto would end up on money.

What about Nate Silver?

[Stranger in a strange land]

-institute an intelligence visa: any foreigner who earned a score of 2200 or better on the SAT or an equivalent score on the ACT, or who had earned a PhD in any topic or a postgraduate degree in any science or mathematics-related field would be eligible to receive a probationary residence visa provided he or she had no felony convictions, and would be eligible for a green card after two years
-institute a beauty visa: any foreigner deemed sufficiently physically attractive by a specially-appointed panel of officials would be eligible to receive a probationary residence visa provided he or she had no felony convictions, and would be eligible for a green card after two years
-immediately repeal don't ask don't tell
-simplify the tax code but keep the progressive income tax in some form
-make it illegal for states to put a sales tax on food and medicine
-start a massive crash program to build nuclear power reactors
-double funding for NASA and instruct it to solve the problem of transporting nuclear waste from said reactors to a storage facility beneath the surface of the Dark Side of the Moon.
-repeal the death penalty for most crimes, but retain it for treason, terrorism, and gross financial malfeasance
-break up AIG
-force Fannie Mae, Freddie Mac, Citigroup, GM, and Chrysler to re-open under new management
-take Andrew Jackson off the $20 bill
-federal Civil Unions
-set the size of a congressional district as the population of the least-populous state, rounded within some range
-legalize travel to and trade with Cuba

[John Dibble]

1. Spend the first day sitting on a throne laughing maniacally. This will serve to make my subjects fear I've gone mad with power.
2. Decree on the second day that an impenetrable death fortress/luxurious palace be built for me to live in. I will specify that it's walls must be made of ten foot thick titanium and it will be surrounded by an electrified moat. This will serve to confirm my subjects' fears that I've gone mad with power.
3. On the third day declare the next week to be "Supreme Overlord Week Celebration Event Spectacular" to celebrate my ascension to power. All subjects must be allowed two paid days of work off that week by their employers. There will be a televised hobo fighting tournament, the prize of which shall be a year of free sandwiches, for the amusement of the populace and more importantly myself. Other such things will occur throughout the week. This will distract my subjects for a time and put them in a good mood while my death fortress/luxurious palace is being built.
4. Once my new domicile is completed, I will demand an offering of pudding from the nations of the world on threat of nuclear war. This will convince my subjects and the world that not only have I gone mad with power, but that I'm completely bats**t insane. They will acquiesce to my demands of course, as all I'm asking for is pudding and that stuff isn't that expensive.
5. Every now and then go on TV, start a game of Simon Says with the people, and randomly have my elite police force break into people's homes and execute those who do something when Simon didn't say to do it.

Aside from all that I'd pretty much let the country run itself.

[Sensei]

-institute an intelligence visa: any foreigner who earned a score of 2200 or better on the SAT or an equivalent score on the ACT, or who had earned a PhD in any topic or a postgraduate degree in any science or mathematics-related field would be eligible to receive a probationary residence visa provided he or she had no felony convictions, and would be eligible for a green card after two years
-institute a beauty visa: any foreigner deemed sufficiently physically attractive by a specially-appointed panel of officials would be eligible to receive a probationary residence visa provided he or she had no felony convictions, and would be eligible for a green card after two years
-immediately repeal don't ask don't tell
-simplify the tax code but keep the progressive income tax in some form
-make it illegal for states to put a sales tax on food and medicine
-start a massive crash program to build nuclear power reactors
-double funding for NASA and instruct it to solve the problem of transporting nuclear waste from said reactors to a storage facility beneath the surface of the Dark Side of the Moon.
-repeal the death penalty for most crimes, but retain it for treason, terrorism, and gross financial malfeasance
-break up AIG
-force Fannie Mae, Freddie Mac, Citigroup, GM, and Chrysler to re-open under new management
-take Andrew Jackson off the $20 bill
-federal Civil Unions
-set the size of a congressional district as the population of the least-populous state, rounded within some range
-legalize travel to and trade with Cuba

agree to all, but i'll make my own list later.

[War on Want]

mob style crude welfare state ensuring PRI-style democratic facade/quasi-dictatorship with a few more economic and political freedoms.  PRI minus the six-year, one-term limit so I rule for like 30 years or whatever

You like Mexican politics of the past?

[dead0man]

5. Every now and then go on TV, start a game of Simon Says with the people, and randomly have my elite police force break into people's homes and execute those who do something when Simon didn't say to do it.

I'll rename my kids after you if you let me run the Simon Says Goon Squad.

[© tweed]

mob style crude welfare state ensuring PRI-style democratic facade/quasi-dictatorship with a few more economic and political freedoms.  PRI minus the six-year, one-term limit so I rule for like 30 years or whatever

You like Mexican politics of the past?

I respect how amazing the PRI was at doing what they did.  which doesn't mean I wouldn't have been throwing rocks in the streets when they shut the computers down in '88.

[I spent the winter writing songs about getting better]

we'd have a national holiday honoring Guy Picciotto for example. Probably Obama too, he'd sort of be held as a state hero like Simon Bolivar is in several South American countries. No doubt both Obama and Picciotto would end up on money.

What about Nate Silver?

Eh, he's not really a "scene" icon (Obama is, for the record.) Still he might get some sort of position in the regime, likely an economics advisor of sorts since he can't exactly do elections analysis anymore with no free elections.

[© tweed]

'scene' would lose 90% of its meaning once it were institutionalized, BRTD

[SPC]

Ideally, I would resign. Absent that choice, I would repeal all laws infringing upon the non-agression principle.