Where is BushOklahoma?

[Franzl]

what does one do at church camp?

pray?

[Franzl]

So without prayer, the "minor disagreements" would have torn you apart?

[Franzl]

Phil's right. Look, I'm sorry, but if "minor disagreements" almost tear you apart....it seems pretty weird that you'd even think of marriage at this point.

You may say it's none of my business, and that's correct, I suppose, but if BushOK shares all these details with us...I think it's fair to comment on them.

I naturally wish BushOK the best of luck, but it just seems so artificial and superficial that you just say a prayer and that makes everything alright again. What's going to happen if there are any "major" disagreements? Will 50 Hail Marys cure everything?

I'll just be quiet now...didn't intend to truly offend anyone. I just have trouble understanding BushOK's line of thinking.

[Franzl]

Fair enough, I don't mean to criticize religious people if praying makes them feel stronger/better/whatever. That's fine.

The thing that makes me is that BushOK has clearly affirmed that without prayer, his "minor disagreements" would have clearly torn them apart. That's basically saying that saying a prayer is the cure....even if you yourself don't believe that's logical, which is the impression you made in your last post.

My only question is if you have to continually say prayers to keep a relationship working, why are you having this relationship?

[Franzl]

Well alright, everyone is entitled to their opinion. That has to be accepted. If people feel that prayer ultimately does help them, it can't be considered harmful, I guess. That doesn't necessarily make me understand how it's supposed to work, but fine, to each his own.

I still feel that BushOK was basically saying that prayer and prayer alone saved his relationship...but that appears to be up for debate.

[Franzl]

They really should see relationship counsellor, preferably nothing to do with church before getting married. I agree with Franzl - occasional minor disagreements should not be the cause of a schism.

We will go through a marriage counselling session with the pastor thats going to officiate the ceremony.

I prayed for the strength to get through these minor disagreements and its working.  I firmly believe that if I had not prayed, then the minor disagreements would escalate and blow up into something major and be catastrophic.  I pray everday for God's guidance in this relationship.  Ultimately, it was the Lord who put us together, not any human.  He just used my ex as his instrument to join us together.  Wednesday morning, the Lord showed me several things that make me believe that our relationship is definitely His doing, not ours, and that He still has a lot of work to accomplish through our merged lives.  He gave me the reassurance that the only thing that will separate us is death.

Sounds if you feel you have no control over any aspect of this relationship. That it is God's plaything. That is very unhealthy.

Agreed, yes. What does "love" mean if one is only completing God's plan?