Bushie: The Final Frontier - Update Season V

[Lief 🗽]

Each of those slices is at least 1000 calories.

[Lief 🗽]

Don't boil veggies, all the nutrients go into the water and you basically lose them. Also they taste bad. Just cut up some carrots or brussel sprouts or whatever, put them on a pan with olive oil, salt and pepper, and put that in an oven until they're ready.

[Lief 🗽]

As you may know today was free pancake day at IHOP's all across the nation in exchange for a small donation to the featured charity or organization.

What, no, I had no idea. You should have alerted us earlier Bushie!

[Lief 🗽]

That's exactly the attitude of someone who has given up.

[Lief 🗽]

Can't Bushie just buy some low-fat/low-calorie ranch dressing or something? Surely he enjoys the taste of ranch dressing, as most stunted American palettes do.

[Lief 🗽]

Can't Bushie just buy some low-fat/low-calorie ranch dressing or something? Surely he enjoys the taste of ranch dressing, as most stunted American palettes do.

Dukie's vinaigrette dressing actually tastes better. A chef taught me to make it, when I complemented his dressing at a restaurant. He also gave me a jar of it to take home. I told my waiter to praise the chef on the dressing he made, and the chef came out with the jar later, and so forth. Sometimes it "pays" to thank folks for jobs well done. Who knew?

I mean, it sounds delicious to me (my go to dressing is olive oil, lemon juice and dijon, and I absolutely drench my salads in the stuff) but a meal at "Golden Corral" also sounds disgusting to me. Clearly Bushie's tastes are very different from mine or yours or Duke's. We're operating in a different gustatory dimension here. 

[Lief 🗽]

Yeah, real mayonnaise is just egg yolk, olive oil and vinegar. These are all fine, and eggs and olive oil are actually good for you in moderation. I don't think it's that unhealthy. Of course making your own mayonnaise is a few levels above where Bushie currently is when it comes to cheffery, but it's nice to have goals to work towards.

Also I made it into opebo's sig, nice!

[Lief 🗽]

opebo makes a good point: if you're going to be fat, at least enjoy being a fat. There are plenty of incredibly delicious unhealthy foods; there's no need to waste those calories on disgusting slop from a buffet line when you could be making yourself bacon mayonnaise, duck fat french fries, or all sorts of other fatty and delicious delicacies. 

[Lief 🗽]

a merchant I do business with regularly

Bushie, porn is free on the internet, you don't need to pay for it...

[Lief 🗽]

bushie should do the jared subway diet

[Lief 🗽]

Do they not salt the roads/have snow plows in Salt Lake City? It snowed like 12 inches here or something ridiculous and the roads still look basically normal.

[Lief 🗽]

Huh, that's weird. Make sure to vote the bums out at the next election, hopefully their successors will do something about this.

[Lief 🗽]

Probably some Mormon sabbath thing. That's what you get for living in a de facto theocracy, old friend.

[Lief 🗽]

I like how the writers are foreshadowing Bushie quitting his job for a pyramid scam within the next few weeks.

[Lief 🗽]

Are you seriously considering quitting your job for a $1 per hour raise that will be eaten up by increased gas costs anyway?

[Lief 🗽]

Wow, this tale has taken a strange, baffling but interesting turn!

Also if anyone could PM these facebook updates that would be appreciated.

[Lief 🗽]

I'm really confused as to where he keeps getting the money to survive from? It seems like his monthly expenses are almost double what he actually earns.

[Lief 🗽]

I could totally see the vandalism thing happening. What the hell else is there to do in Oklahoma besides smoke some meth with your buds, find an abandoned house to break in to, and have an impromptu orgy in the garage?

[Lief 🗽]

lol the banner ad when I read this thread is for "slimfast"

[Lief 🗽]

You can't seriously expect us to believe that you quit your job, threw away all the money you had invested in moving to Utah, wasted money on gas, lodging, etc. for the return trip to Oklahoma all so you can personally drive by the house you don't live in anymore once or twice a day to "check on it"?

[Lief 🗽]

Some methheads broke into Bushie's house's shed while he was in Utah, had an orgy there, and didn't clean up afterwards.

[Lief 🗽]

whoa dude, no need to throw prostitutes under the bus

But otherwise I agree.

[Lief 🗽]

lol

HE'S BACK

[Lief 🗽]

It's like lasagna but made with enchilada ingredients.

I don't know why Bushie is so dead-set on working at a call center. Surely he could put in applications at the Wal-Mart (I assume that's the only retail store still open in whatever city he lives in).

[Lief 🗽]

Another good thing about getting a job at a Target or supermarket or whatever (though I assume in Oklahoma all of those have already been replaced by Targets/Wal-Marts) is that having a job where he actually has to walk around or *gasp* stand up for a few hours would burn a lot of calories.