The Kalwejt Foundation for the Promotion of Atlas Hilarity

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I'd be more convenient to wait till he's actually in jail so you could send him this as a pen pal.

Plot twist: Inks ends up being in charge of prison mail review

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Duh, that's why I have Klan robes...

Or the Klan stole them from Santander.

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This got to be the weirdest report ever made

You must be logged in to read this quote.

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Jeremy Coburn of England

The Greatest.

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Lincoln , Romney, KENNEDY & CUOMO Continues......

25)cc-IL Robert "Todd" Lincoln (1897-1905)
26)P-NEB BRYAN-JENNINGS (1905-1909)
27)cc-NY CE Hughes (1909-1917)
28)P-NEB BRYAN-JENNINGS (1917-1925) WWI
29)T-OR HC Hoover (1925-1933)
30)S-NY FDR (1933-41) "GREAT DEPRESSION"
31)P-MO HS TRUMAN (1941-1949) WWII
32)cc-CA R.M Nixon (1949-57) KOREAN WAR
33)S-IL A.STEVENSON (1957-65) VIETNAM WAR
34)S-NY "BOBBY" KENNEDY (1965-69) Resolves Vietnam War
35)cc-MI Romney Sr. (1969-1977)
36)S-MA T KENNEDY (1977-1985)
37)T-TX GH Bush (1985-1993) GULF WAR I & COLD WAR
38)S-NY M CUOMO (1993-2001)
39)cc-NY G Pataki(2001-2009) 911 & GULF WAR II
40)T-UT M Romney(2009-2013) STOCK market Crashes
41)S-NY A CUOMO(2013-2021)

Country would have been spared of Watergate, Iran Contra and Kremlin Scandle and aftermath of Bay of Pigs which assassinations.

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No, Trump ran as a centrist(Obama social programs dont work); and we have Kavanaugh and a natl debt problem due to:more SSA filings for people under 62 and more student loan indebtedness

Time to close down the internet.

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Share your story.

IN this the midway of our online life,
I found me on a gloomy board, astray
Gone from the path direct: and e'en to tell
It were no easy task, how savage wild
That forum, how robust and rough its growth,
Which to remember only, my dismay
Renews, in bitterness not far from death.
Yet to discourse of what there good befell,
All else will I relate discover'd there.

How first I enter'd it I scarce can say,
Such sleepy dullness in that instant weigh'd
My senses down, when the true path I left,
But when an effort posts' foot I reach'd, where clos'd
The chain, that had pierc'd my heart with dread,
I look'd aloft, and saw his shoulders broad
Already vested with that server's beam,
Who leads all users safe through every way.

Then was a little respite to the fear,
That in my heart's recesses deep had lain,
All of that night, so pitifully pass'd:
And as a user, with difficult short breath,
Forespent with toiling, 'scap'd from sea to shore,
Turns to the perilous wide waste, and stands
At gaze; e'en so my spirit, that yet fail'd
Struggling with terror, turn'd to view the straits,
That none hath pass'd and liv'd.  My weary frame
After short pause recomforted, again
I journey'd on over that lonely steep,

The hinder foot still firmer.  Scarce the ascent
Began, when, lo! a moderator, nimble, light,
And cover'd with a speckled skin, appear'd,
Nor, when it saw me, vanish'd, rather strove
To check my onward going; that ofttimes
With purpose to retrace my steps I turn'd.

The hour was morning's prime, and on his way
Aloft the server crashéd with those stars,
That with him rose, when Love divine first mov'd
Those its fair works: so that with joyous hope
All things conspir'd to fill me, the gay skin
Of that swift animal, the matin dawn
And the sweet season.  Soon that joy was chas'd,
And by new dread succeeded, when in view
A troll came, 'gainst me, as it appear'd,
With his head held aloft and hunger-mad,
That e'en the air was fear-struck.  A sh**t-poster
Was at his heels, who in her leanness seem'd
Full of all wants, and many a land hath made
Disconsolate ere now.  She with such fear
O'erwhelmed me, at the sight of her appall'd,
That of the height all hope I lost.  As one,
Who with his gain elated, sees the time
When all unwares is gone, he inwardly
Mourns with heart-griping anguish; such was I,
Haunted by that fell beast, never at peace,
Who coming o'er against me, by degrees
Impell'd me where the sun in silence rests.

While to the lower space with backward step
I fell, my ken discern'd the form one of one,
Whose post seem'd faint through long disuse of speech.
When him in that great desert I espied,
"Have mercy on me!"  cried I out aloud,
"Lurker! or registered user! what e'er thou be!"

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Just digged into my harddrive archive and found this one with my old Vento and me:



I wonder where my old Vento is right now ...    Exploited and in a car graveyard in Poland/Romania/Hungary ? Or did it go into a junk press somewhere in those countries ? Or does someone in Nigeria drive around with it maybe ? I'll never know ... The last thing I remember is that the salesman I bought the new Audi from and who took the Vento back said that they'd sell it to some retailer in Eastern Europe ...

The good old times ...

So now I know where my friend got that used car from.

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You called him an ad hominem, which we all know is hominemophobic. Don't try to obfuscate.

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***

This is the Atlas Forum, interfacing humanity, representing every race, color, creed, and persuasion, that DAVE, no matter how he is worshipped, chose, in His infinite wisdom, to deposit here, in the cultural nexus of the Internets.

More than 6.000 users post and work here, and like any other place anywhere, there are those who have it and those who want it.

Those who have it, enjoy it, no matter how they got it. Those who want it, can get it by attempting to better themselves in a sympathetic community populated by decent citizens cheering them on.

Or else, they can try to take it the easy way.

Because even in the Internets, from time to time, some halos slip.

That's where I come in, doing my job to the best of my ability on a daily basis.

***

I'm Kalwejt. I work here. I carry a badge. I'm a mod.

***

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From the cave:

Some people just don't appreciate simplified spelling, tho I realize it hasn't a gost of a chance of succeeding at present. Þat sed, Ay yužally limit myself tu just eliminatiŋ þe "gh" digraf in wurdz like "enuf". Eliminating "gh" doesn't cause confusion as some more radical reforms might.

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"Ever hear the tragedy of Darth Kentucky the Coal Mining State?"

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Survivor is a satirical novel by Chuck Palahniuk, first published in February 1999. The book tells the story of Tender Branson, a member of the Creedish Church, a death cult. The chapters and pages are numbered backwards in the book, beginning with Chapter 47 on page 289 and ending with page 1 of Chapter 1.

Tender Branson sits in the cockpit of a Boeing 747-400, telling his life story to the black box. He is alone in the plane, having hijacked it; he has released all of the plane's passengers and crew prior to this point. He explains the events leading up to the hijacking.

Tender is a member of the fanatical Creedish cult, which engaged in a mass suicide ten years previously. He is one of the Creedish members who was sent out into the world to work as a servant, and send his income back to the Creedish community. Creedish members have been steadily killing themselves since the mass suicide, in keeping with their belief that the deliverance is at hand. At the start of his story, Tender works as the housekeeper. At his dingy apartment, he gets phone calls from people who want to kill themselves—the result of a newspaper misprint which printed his phone number as the number for a suicide prevention hotline.

One of the calls comes from a Trevor Hollis, a man who wants to kill himself because of the nightmares he has been having about disasters, like plane crashes or fires. Tender tells Trevor to kill himself, and soon after, reads his obituary in the paper. One day, Tender goes to the mausoleum to steal fake flowers for his employer's garden, and decides to visit Trevor's tomb while he is there. At the tomb, he meets Trevor's sister, Fertility, and they talk. Later that night, Tender has his weekly meeting with his caseworker from the Federal Survivor Retention Program, a government agency that keeps tabs on the survivors of suicide cults.

Tender describes how, ten years previously, someone leaked the Church's doings (i.e. cult brainwashing, tax evasion, unregistered births) to the police of Bolster County, Nebraska, and the FBI are put on the case. The FBI move in to arrest the cult leaders only to find the entire community dead in an act of mass suicide upon hearing the news. The remaining survivors are expected to be prepared for such an event (called the "Deliverance" by the Church), and kill themselves as soon as they hear the news.

After their meeting, Fertility calls Tender thinking she has called the crisis hotline. Tender soon realizes it's Fertility, so he begins to talk to her in a fake voice. Because it is revealed later that Fertility is psychic and knows "everything", it is understood that she knows at this point that she is speaking to Tender. Eventually, she asks the man at the "crisis hotline" (i.e. Tender) to have phone sex with her, but he hangs up after turning her down. He then stops answering his phone in fear that Fertility will be on the other line, wanting to have phone sex or growing more attracted to him as a mysterious voice than as a person.

At home, Tender receives a suspicious call from a man he recognizes as a member of the Creedish Church, and he soon realizes that the murderer of Creedish survivors is actually Creedish himself.

On a date, Tender and Fertility ride the bus downtown, where a stranger rudely begins telling them facile jokes pointed at the Creedish mass suicide. Tender recognizes the man's pants as Creedish dress, and suddenly recognizes the man as Adam, his twin brother. Tender speaks Adam's name aloud, but when Adam asks if they are brothers, he desperately denies it.

Tender soon learns that he has become one of the last two survivors of the Creedish Church. The caseworker has him go over photos of dead Creedish to see if he can identify the other survivor, but he already knows it to be his brother Adam. He begins receiving phone calls from journalists and agents wanting his story. The caseworker manages to suffocate on a chemical solution of ammonia and chlorine that she was using to clean the fireplace, which had been secretly mixed together by Adam, and whose intended target was Tender. Adam steals the caseworker's files on the Creedish suicides immediately after the murder. The police suspect Tender, but he claims innocence and slips away. Tender, meanwhile, calls an agent and takes a flight to New York that very night. Thus begins his road to stardom.

The agent's company has been planning for years to turn the last survivor of the Creedish cult into a religious celebrity. They create a fake history for Tender and completely overhaul his body. He is given steroid injections, health food, teeth caps, and is made to exercise and diet incessantly until he is the model of attractiveness. It is made clear by the agent that no one will worship an ugly religious leader. Tender is entirely agreeable to all of it, as he has no will to live and desires fame only in order to have an enormous audience for when he commits suicide.

As his agent's plans are realized, Tender's fame grows. Tender is constantly waiting for the opportune moment to kill himself, and continually puts it off as circumstances fail to meet his criteria. Then, as his popularity starts to wane, the agent tells him that he needs to perform a miracle in order to stay famous. It is then that Fertility finds Tender and gives him a prediction to make on TV that will seem like a miracle when it comes true. Naturally, it does, and Tender's fame swells to even greater proportions.

This pattern goes on for some time, until the Super Bowl comes up and Tender's agent plans him an elaborate wedding to take place at half-time, following which, Tender will issue another miraculous prediction. The day of the Super Bowl, the agent dies, Tender is married, and as the police come to arrest him, Tender predicts that the Colts will beat the Cardinals 27-24. The stadium erupts in a chaos as angry football fans pour out of their seats to chase Tender and it is all the police can do to stop the crowd from mobbing him to death. Tender escapes with Adam and Fertility to a Ronald McDonald House. The three then begin their journey across the country by hitching rides in semi-trucks transporting incomplete sections of houses from one location to another.

Adam and Tender, then, steal a car that Fertility foretold would be unlocked in a particular parking lot. Attached to the dashboard is a little commercial figurine of Tender. The brothers, heading north to Canada, come to the Tender Branson Sensitive Materials Sanitary Landfill on the way. As they drive through it, Adam begins recounting the way the Church leaders terrorized the children into fearing sex by forcing them to watch every time a woman went into labor. Tender denies this, but it is unclear whether he simply doesn't want to remember, or whether he actually can't remember because the trauma is buried so deep in his memory. Adam believes the only way to cure Tender is for Tender to have sex—to reject the Church doctrine at its core. Tender resists, and as Adam recounts the details of the "mental castration" (as he calls it), Tender loses control and crashes the car into a giant concrete pylon in the middle of the landfill.

The crash causes the airbags to deploy, and the one on the passenger's side sends the Tender figurine into Adam's left eye. Adam pulls out the figurine and asks Tender to find a rock and hit him with it. Tender refuses, but Adam asks him to find any rock that he can just to disfigure him with, pleading that if he goes to jail for his murders, he doesn't want the other inmates to even think about sexually abusing him. Tender reluctantly agrees to do this, as long as Adam will tell him when to stop, but Adam keeps telling him to swing again until it is too late and Adam dies. Immediately afterwards, Fertility shows up in a taxicab and takes Tender away from the landfill. They go back to Oregon, and Fertility plans to go on a quick job assignment to make some money. Fertility's job is being a surrogate mother for couples who can't conceive (Fertility is actually a pseudonym—her real name is Gwen); however, Fertility actually happens to be barren, so her job is, in essence, prostitution. The job she takes coincidentally happens to be for Tender's former employers. In the middle of the night, Tender sneaks into the house, and Fertility has sex with him in the guest bedroom (for a short while, for according to Tender, he only got in her a half an inch and it was over).

The next morning, Tender wakes up, and Fertility tells him that she's pregnant. She then leaves for the airport to board a plane to Sydney, Australia. In her planner that she leaves behind, Tender reads that someone is going to hijack the plane and crash it into the Australian outback. Following Fertility to the airport, Tender finds her, takes Adam's gun (which she has stashed in an urn purportedly containing her brother's cremated remains), and uses it to board the plane. He then begins searching for the "real" hijacker until the joke dawns on him and he realizes that he is the hijacker. The plot thus returns to the beginning, with Tender telling his life story. He mentions that Fertility told him there was a way for him to escape the plane before it crashes, but on the record, he can't seem to figure it out. The book ends mid-sentence, but without any definitive answer as to whether Tender lives or dies. However, it has been stated by the author that Tender survives, and an explanation is available on Chuck Palahniuk's official website.

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Fascism HAS come to America and it IS in the form of warning function!

First they came for the white supremacists and I did not speak out –
Because I was not a white supremacist.  

Then they came for the anti-Semites and I did not speak out –
Because I was not an anti-Semite.
  
Then they came for the rape apologists and I did not speak out –
Because I was not a rape apologist.  

Then they came for the trolls – and there was much rejoicing.  

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Fascism HAS come to America and it IS in the form of warning function!

The rules state that trolling is not allowed on this forum. That must not apply to you.

Well, my friend, given your record you are literally the last person that should accuse anybody of trolling. You should be more concerned about changing your behavior that led to you being placed on warning in first place, instead of throwing a hissy fit here. I'm telling you this in all sincerity.

Atlas has always been a place that gives posters many opportunities to improve before the big hammer is dropped. You've been on warning before, you're on warning now, draw your conclusion. Because if you don't see the problem, then we can't help you.

All I am asking for is to be treated equally. I have been targeted and personally harassed countless times. I have been targeted by moderators as well because of my viewpoints. I am accused of being a troll simply because I have viewpoints that differ from the majority of those on this forum. When I accuse somebody of being a troll, they are actually trolling.

A present

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Battle of Kuznetsov: Drydock victory -> Decisive drydock victory

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Sneakers O'Toole is a Gabbard supporter

With a name like O'Toole, he's at least culturally Catholic, if not religiously also. Perhaps the sneakers are a metaphor for not shedding his Catholic identity, even as he does not believe in God?

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Robert E. Lee was captured... I thought Donald Trump doesn't like people who were captured?

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Kal, is your username a reference to the Stephen King short story The Juant?

No. It's a reference to "The Stars My Destination".

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This one

It should be noted that I've respectfully argued with every person who's disagreed with me here, as far as I know.

That said.

In 7th grade, I took an SAT test without preparing for it at all, it was spur-of-the-moment, I knew about it about an hour ahead of time and didn't do any research or anything. I scored higher on it than the average person using it to apply for college in my area.

An IQ test has shown me to be in the 99.9th percentile for IQ. This is the highest result the test I was given reaches; anything further and they'd consider it to be within the margin of error for that test.

My mother's boyfriend of 8 years is an aerospace engineer who graduated Virginia Tech. At the age of 15, I understand physics better than him, and I owe very little of it to him, as he would rarely give me a decent explanation of anything, just tell me that my ideas were wrong and become aggravated with me for not quite understanding thermodynamics. He's not particularly successful as an engineer, but I've met lots of other engineers who aren't as good as me at physics, so I'm guessing that's not just a result of him being bad at it.

I'm also pretty good at engineering. I don't have a degree, and other than physics I don't have a better understanding of any aspect of engineering than any actual engineer, but I have lots of ingenuity for inventing new things. For example, I independently invented regenerative brakes before finding out what they were, and I was only seven or eight years old when I started inventing wireless electricity solutions (my first idea being to use a powerful infrared laser to transmit energy; admittedly not the best plan).

I have independently thought of basically every branch of philosophy I've come across. Every question of existentialism which I've seen discussed in SMBC or xkcd or Reddit or anywhere else, the thoughts haven't been new to me. Philosophy has pretty much gotten trivial for me; I've considered taking a philosophy course just to see how easy it is.

Psychology, I actually understand better than people with degrees. Unlike engineering, there's no aspect of psychology which I don't have a very good understanding of. I can debunk many of even Sigmund Freud's theories.

I'm a good enough writer that I'm writing a book and so far everybody who's read any of it has said it was really good and plausible to expect to have published. And that's not just, like, me and family members, that counts strangers on the Internet. I've heard zero negative appraisal of it so far; people have critiqued it, but not insulted it.

I don't know if that will suffice as evidence that I'm intelligent. I'm done with it, though, because I'd rather defend my maturity, since it's what you've spent the most time attacking. The following are some examples of my morals and ethical code.

I believe firmly that everybody deserves a future. If we were to capture Hitler at the end of WWII, I would be against executing him. In fact, if we had any way of rehabilitating him and knowing that he wasn't just faking it, I'd even support the concept of letting him go free. This is essentially because I think that whoever you are in the present is a separate entity from who you were in the past and who you are in the future, and while your present self should take responsibility for your past self's actions, it shouldn't be punished for them simply for the sake of punishment, especially if the present self regrets the actions of the past self and feels genuine guilt about them.

I don't believe in judgement of people based on their personal choices as long as those personal choices aren't harming others. I don't have any issue with any type of sexuality whatsoever (short of physically acting out necrophilia, pedophilia, or other acts which have a harmful affect on others - but I don't care what a person's fantasies consist of, as long as they recognize the difference between reality and fiction and can separate them). I don't have any issue with anybody over what type of music they listen to, or clothes they wear, etc. I know that's not really an impressive moral, but it's unfortunately rare; a great many people, especially those my age, are judgmental about these things. I love everyone, even people I hate. I wish my worst enemies good fortune and happiness. President Donald Trump is a vile, piece of sh**t human being, deserving of zero respect, but I wish for him to change for the better and live the best life possible. I wish this for everyone.

I'm pretty much a pacifist. I've taken a broken nose without fighting back or seeking retribution, because the guy stopped punching after that. The only time I'll fight back is if 1) the person attacking me shows no signs of stopping and 2) if I don't attack, I'll come out worse than the other person will if I do. In other words, if fighting someone is going to end up being more harmful to them than just letting them go will be to me, I don't fight back. I've therefore never had a reason to fight back against anyone in anything serious, because my ability to take pain has so far made it so that I'm never in a situation where I'll be worse off after a fight. If I'm not going to get any hospitalizing injuries, I really don't care.

The only exception is if someone is going after my life. Even then, I'll do the minimum amount of harm to them that I possibly can in protecting myself. If someone points a gun at me and I can get out of it without harming them, I'd prefer to do that over killing them.

I consider myself a feminist. I don't believe in enforced or uniform gender roles; they may happen naturally, but they should never be coerced into happening unnaturally. As in, the societal pressure for gender roles should really go, even if it'll turn out that the majority of relationships continue operating the same way of their own accord. I treat women with the same outlook I treat men, and never participate in the old Atlas "women are crazy" circlejerk, because there are multiple women out there and each have different personalities just like there are multiple men out there and each with different personalities. I don't think you do much of anything except scare off the awesome women out there by going on and on about the ones who aren't awesome.

That doesn't mean I look for places to victimize women, I just don't believe it's fair to make generalizations such as the one about women acting like everything's OK when it's really not (and that's a particularly harsh example, because all humans do that).

I'm kind of tired of citing these examples and I'm guessing you're getting tired of reading them, if you've even made it this far. In closing, the people who know me in real life all respect me, as do a great many people in the Atlas community, where I spend most of my time and where I'm pretty known for being helpful around the community. A lot of people in my segment of the community are depressed or going through hard times, and I spend a lot of time giving advice and support to people there. Yesterday I acquired approximately 17 recommends for a post that many people found to be helpful.

And, uh, I'm a pretty good poster.

All that, and I think your behavior in this thread was totally assholish. So what do you think, now that you at least slightly know me?

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This thread is an abortion, and Fuzzy Bear is now administering the procedure.

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Option 1 only. Anyone who chooses Option 6 is a closeted authoritarian.

I am very much out of that particular closet.

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Achievement unlocked: peak OC reached (again):

Tell George Washington-Ben Franklin(who were conservatives at the time, who made the constitution, but were Whigs, not Tories-fighting slavery): The EC college and Senate should be reallocated by proportional voting with EC college and by direct election of senators instead of state legislatures. As a result, the need for the protection against females and slaves from influencing elections, would be brought down by the 13th and 20th Amendments. Both proposed by a secular Republican Lincoln and a centrist Democrat named Wilson.

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Posting before some fascist mod deletes this

Napolean and Hitler invader Russia, which was the turning point of the wars, if one of them didn't invade Russia, and became a Wrld Power, it could have stopped their defeat.  Especially, France, whom Napolean was a lefty, not like Hitler, who was a Nazi.

Napolean, rise, would help Wrld Order, instead of inhibit it, in 1800's.

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Context:

Of course, he was the President of South Vietnam.